Living with partners inlaws, two kids, thinking of separating ?!

lashofeye

As title says myself and partner have been living with inlays the last 12 years! We have two kids together and things are not going well between is and Im wondering what my/our options are regarding living situation? I don't live in my home county , I don't work and he's self employed . Many thanks .

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058247947/living-with-partners-inlaws-two-kids-thinking-of-separating

Being honest, your post is way too vague to give any advice / help. I'm assuming you are living under same roof as your partner's parents & are raising your offspring there. The fact you're not residing in your 'home' County is irrelevant. If your partner & yourself have made the firm decision to ' part ways' I'd suggest you need good legal advice....best to seek out a solicitor that specialises in family law.

xyz13

Get a job!

Pay rent.

Birdland

Sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you have to consider moving out (with the kids?). Will he stay with his parents? I know that you generally can't get social welfare until you are living under different roofs for three months but I do think they back pay it. You might get help with rent etc. What do you really want for yourself though?

1. You need to speak with a family law specialist. A free option is the FLAC Family Law Clinic. Book that appointment now: https://www.flac.ie/help/centres/familylaw/ A lot of the case you could do yourself with help from groups such as Talk2Us and if it gets difficult you can pay a solicitor.
2. The so-called "key principles" of divorce are pretty clear: what is in the "best interests of the child" and "proper provision" (financially) for each spouse. In your case, expect some predictable assertions that the children are very close to your inlaws so their best interests are served by staying there (i.e. you could be asked to leave so lawyer up)
3. It's extraordinary that you have chosen to live for 12 years with your inlaws, rather than assert your right to create your own family free from their family. That 12 years exist for some reason, and you alone know that. It is deeply destructive for the growth and development of any family to live with another family for even a year. What's done is done, so you need to start the rest of your life today. You, obviously, need to start being proactive. Today.
4. You need to get a job. It is almost certain that a judge will tell you precisely the same if your children are anywhere approaching school age. Indeed, as it's very common for women to return to the workforce within a year of childbirth, a judge could tell you the same even if your child is 1 or 2.
5. Don't bother with separation - you can, on paper since 2019, be divorced 2 years after you agree to separate in a personal agreement. Don't bother paying for a legal Judicial Separation after one year: wait two years and get the divorce and save yourself paying twice.
6. It's an inhumanly long process, most especially when there are children and property: your two-year minimum wait until divorce very, very often turns into many, many years because that's the system which the current government refuses to reform (it benefits the legal industry). The sooner you get on this the better. It gets worse before it gets better - and you are on enemy territory. Don't leave; do focus on getting your life back by getting out of what appears to have been a marriage of convenience for at least one of you.