Unsure what to do....

boardsie12

I'm planning on getting married in a few months and I've invited those close to me, those that had been there non-stop since I was younger.

I haven't invited my best friend from school, at least not yet, we haven't seen or contacted one another in almost 8 years and have completely drifted apart, nothing happened, just life changed and priorities changed, he moved away for a while, so did I, and we, for whatever reason, never decided to contact one another, not even on social media, not ever for a quick pint.

It was all kind of weird, we would have remained really close, even after school, for a couple of years, then one day we became ever so distant.

I'm not sure whether I would want him to attend, I'm still 50/50!

Positives- He contributed to a lot of my happy school memories, first drink, socializing outside of school, helping one another with projects and studying, holidays together and so on....

Negatives- We haven't spoken in a long time, we became too distant, we stopped socializing together years and years ago, we don't even acknowledge one another's existence anymore.

I just feel like time has moved on and I've made other friends that I talk to on a weekly basis.

I'm not sure whether or not he will get offended if I refuse to invite him, but I'm not sure whether or not he will show up if I do invite him.

I'm not sure how things will be if he decides to show up, whether or not they will be the same as before, or whether or not they will change and maybe, after all these years, we are both different people now.

I feel like if it was such a strong friendship, then we would have been able to keep in touch over the years, but the friendship ended a long time ago

Have you ever been in this situation before and what did you do?

CPTM

8 years is a very long time. I wouldn't invite him. To me it would be strange because you haven't talked in 8 years and then you invite him to one of the busiest days of your life when you probably won't have much time to catch up with him.

Leave the invite but I would recommend igniting the friendship again whenever things calm down after the wedding and honeymoon.

An invite for a drink would mean more to him than an invite to your wedding. After the wedding, drop him a line to see how he's doing.

Jim_Hodge

No way would I invite him. You've moved on. School friends drift away. 8 years is a long time. Forget about it.

Muppet Man

If its going to be kinda weird to meet him after 8 years, don't have that day on your wedding day. Try and meet before then for a pint and chat and tell him you're getting married. But my gut feeling is to not bother inviting him.

raheny red

Getting married in a couple of weeks meself and had a similar thought. I'm not inviting him. Haven't heard from him in 5 years or so. And he hasn't heard from me. If he was planning a wedding I wouldn't care about not being invited to his. If I bumped into him tomorrow we'd get on like a house on fire though. Such is life.

yourdeadwright

I'd invite him

You have nothing to lose, you obviously have feelings for the friendship if you have even thought about it,

If you invite him & he decides to go then you know he is in the same boat, if he doesn't go then who cares you did everything you coul & your in the same place as before so no lose,

Obviously its different if your tight for space or have friends who don't like him or something like that,

Its your wedding if you'd like him there just ask,

Ps enjoy your big day

boardsie12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119240137#Comment_119240137

I'm just worried about the awkwardness, 8 years is such a long time and I'm sure that so much has changed in his life, along with mine.

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119242005#Comment_119242005

Would you just concentrate on your wedding and your new life with your new wife and move on! You've obviously both moved on already. Such is life.

yourdeadwright

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119242005#Comment_119242005

I understand that but if you did invite him and he went then you know the guys still likes you or wants to get to know you again,

I had a friend who basically disappeared from all our life's about 4 /5years ago , went from being one of the lads to just radio silence, Said he was going away for work & then blanked everyone, Only recently a chance meeting down the country in a rural petrol station & everything was resolved,

Its a long story but basically something very small had happened that nobody cared about but it really effected him & that contact was all it took for him to reconnect with everyone & know its like it never happened,

I just think you have nothing to lose & if u didn't you might always think what if,

Regardless enjoy your big day I'm sure either way you'll have a ball ,

Loveinapril

A wedding doesn't need to be a reunion. It is a milestone day for you and your partner, would it be improved by having him there? You don't have a relationship with him, your wedding shouldn't be the place where you try to rekindle one.