Bumped into ex, unsure next step

gary550

That receipt thing is a bit weird

I just can't imagine walking out of the house every day and saying "keys - check, wallet - check, plugs out - check, doors locked - check, little envelope filled with receipts I kept from my time with some girl who ghosted me 6 months ago - check".

Yeah, weird.

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119266561#Comment_119266561

Ha I don't think he does.

Yeah maybe it was a closure thing for him, but I do find it quite sweet and unusual, but that could be just the surprise of it all.

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119266636#Comment_119266636

Thanks for that

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119266664#Comment_119266664

I was not in a good place and decided it was best way for me to do it. Not proud of it but its how I felt at the time.

Thanks for comment

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119267296#Comment_119267296

You should see my bag, everything bar the sink in it :)

Right now I am not going to do anything and not sure if I will, but I am going to continue what I am doing and just see, thanks :)

Liberty_Bear

The receipt thing albeit a bit odd he never made contact in those months and I assume he had your number. For him this might have been some form of closure, he wants to make one more attempt as he felt the ending was on poor terms. On a personal level I dont hold people who end a relationship after 3+ months with a text in high esteem (not you OP but people who have done it), a coffee or a talk on the phone suffices. If its a few weeks or a couple of dates Im fine with it. The romance of the movies carries around with it this notion that everything is all lovely and fun and that things like that chap with the receipts would capture your heart and you sail into the sunset. As you say though you were in a bad place and now are doing well..I can only assume the chap knows that and is happy in that regards. Summing up, the chap could have reached out in those months but never did, that to me seems perfectly ordinary behaviour.

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119268051#Comment_119268051

Ok I am going sound bad here..

He did reach out asking to talk few weeks later, I replied that I didn't want to that I didn't want talk anyone and to leave me be and blocked him everywhere.

Horrible I know but I did block others too to give me headspace.

The person then and now is much different and while this envelope thing appears unusual, it did make me feel both sad and happy

Thanks for commenting

Liberty_Bear

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119268156#Comment_119268156

Ah ok I wasnt aware that he had reached out, well look at the time you were not in the head space, looking after yourself is important. I wonder how you can be sure he is different though after a short space of time? Id have to stand at the sidelines for a while myself. Anyways hope you find whatever you are seeking :)

sprucemoose

think its one of those things you'll have to figure out on your own op. if you want to try again then reach out and see what happens. sounds like he wanted to try and see if things could be fixed but you werent in a place to do so at the time, which is totally understandable.

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119268171#Comment_119268171

Thanks :)

No doubt he is different now, Heck I am too. It ended because of me and I dunno maybe seeing something I wasn't expecting and remembering how things were kinda makes me smile that he thought alot about me.

But as I say I'm not going to do anything for moment if even.

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119268195#Comment_119268195

I agree and thanks

sprucemoose

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119268218#Comment_119268218

my very nosey side would be interested to know what happens btw!

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119268222#Comment_119268222

Haha :)

Big Bag of Chips

Usually when a person is going through a tough time they turn to the person closest to them for support. If you turned away from him it's likely he's not the one for you. What you're feeling now is nostalgia for the nice times. You had opportunity in the last 6 months to contact him if at any point you felt you made a mistake. But you didn't. Leave this where it is. If you go through a tough patch in the future it's unlikely you'll lean on him for support.

YellowLead

Do you really love him OP, or are you just really flattered by the fact that he kept those receipts and wrote notes on them?

I do find it super bizarre he was carrying them around at all times in an envelope. If you are 33 presumably he is of similar age, not a teenager.

How did you guys leave things when you said goodbye? That coffee and giving you the receipts might have been closure for him. If you dumped him out of the blue by text, he might find it very hard to trust you again.

It sounds like a relationship that is better left in the past. You have the chance to meet somebody else while you are in this good head space.

Jonnyc135

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119267296#Comment_119267296

Carrying a sealed envelope with all those things in it on the off chance he meets you or follows you to accidentally meet, sounds like a lunatic of a man.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119268986#Comment_119268986

It wasn't sarin in the envelope!

Jonnyc135

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119269070#Comment_119269070

Just the premeditated thought of it all doesn't sit well with me. Maybe he is a lunatic and maybe there was a full moon that day

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119269082#Comment_119269082

Maybe he is, maybe he's hurt and carrying it as a reminder as how they hurt him and stell themselves i future. Maybe he'll burn it when he meets someone he believes he can trust and it'll be cathartic. Who feckin knows!

But from the ops later post which I do not understand the difficulties they were going through, they were in a very bad place. I'm glad they're on their way out of it. It made them happy/smile or whatever it was, I find that odd.

walshb

He sound like a keeper!

standardg60

For me it's a total drop the mic moment. This guy has left you in no doubt about how he feels OP, the ultimate the ball is in your court.

He handed you his dream, if he doesn't hear from you he can start to let it go, but he's still hoping.

Only you know how you feel about it, though the fact you think it's nice is a positive. If you'd completely moved on you'd feel sad for him, and also a bit alarmed.

Take your time and you'll figure out whether you want to contact him, if it's meant to be he'll be there.

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119268244#Comment_119268244

Hi :)

Usually however in my case I pushed people away, even some my best friends and family. Its only recently I am in a much better place and have let people back in.

I had plenty of opportunities, correct and I didn't act because it wasn't in my train of thought.

However I get what you are saying :)

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119268945#Comment_119268945

Challenging questions :)

I did love him, I wouldn't say it without meaning it. Am I flattered, Yes and no, in that moment it felt nice to see that when we were together that apart from his actions, he had another layer of kindness that although I saw it, I didnt appreciate it at the time.

We walked out, he said I was looking good and before I could answer back, he gave me the envelope, said it was for me , there was a small pause and off he went and that was it.

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119269118#Comment_119269118

Hi :)

It made me smile cause it was a reminder thats all and its nice to get an unexpected smile sometimes :)

Ninjafan12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119269206#Comment_119269206

Hi :)

I think you are right and Yes I will take my time on this :)

Ninjafan12

Thanks to everyone who has replied on this, it is really appreciated :)

I am going take some time on it, who knows I might be back :)

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119269206#Comment_119269206

I'm not so sure.

I'd be more inclined to go with the opposite.

Off my chest, done. Strange way to do it, but whatever.

Katgurl

If you want to give if another go OP, send him a text and say it was lovely to see him and to let you know if he wants to go for a drink sometime.

If you don't hear back (I suspect you won't) then that is that.

Is the receipt thing weird? Yes a bit. So what? Perhaps it was the equivalent of writing a letter to an old friend that you never intend to send. He might have had it in his work bag, undecided whether to bin it or not and it stayed there. It was sealed after all. Maybe he was going to bury it.

Or yes maybe he was trying / hoping to bump into you. Is that crime of the century? I assume he wasn't staking out your place of work or home. I know years ago when an ex and I broke up, I was pretty sure I had caused it and wanted him back - a number of people rolled their eyes and said all you need to do is bump into him looking great, specifically wear that leather dress that he went absolutely wild for.

What's the big deal?

yourdeadwright

Sorry to be blunt but sounds like you've changed the story here to suit a certain narrative & you've been rumbled,

If i was the guess you arranged the meeting & didn't want to say that because it looks bad on you after ghosting him .

There no way in hell you ghosted a guy at Christmas & didn't find it odd & weird that he had a envelope full of things to do with you in his pocket,

Also there is no way he is a stalker either, if a guy did randomly have an envelope full of receipts with nice things written on them , then you can bet your house he would 100% have made contact or tired to make contact at least once within the 6 months since you broke up, But you claim this is the first time you came across each other,

Tell us the truth and maybe we can give you an honest help on this

Sleepy

Honestly, it sounds like he dodged a bullet. Leave him be OP, he clearly deserves better.