Drunken neighbour

Poiuy_b

How do I deal with a drunk?

I currently live in a flat. In a house that was converted into flats.

One of the other tenants is a drunk and I didn't know what to do last night.

I came home to find the front door open, left wide open. It wasn't the first time. Anyone could have walked in. This time, I came in to find this tenant on the floor in the hallway. He was like a child on the floor. He is a man in his 50s.

His keys fell on the floor, so I opened his flat and tried to get him in. He wouldn't go in. It took me 30 minutes to try and get him in. And when I did, he fell backwards on the floor and wouldn't wake up after that. I tried to wake him, I didn't know if he died or if he needed help. But I stayed with him for a few minutes and he was breathing and groaning while passed out on the floor. I put it down as him just being a drunk. But not sure if this was the best thing to do. I really don't. I didn't know if he was injured or dying.

I have no experience of this level of drunkenness in people. Is this normal?

But I don't need this in my life. I didn't sign up to child mind an adult like this and trying to get someone into their own home. Then to give me a heart attack by passing out on the floor and I didn't know what to do. Grand, this was the first time. But, security wise, he's not closing the door after him and leaving it open and that wasn't the first time.

If it happens again, what do I do. He got himself in such a state himself, it's not my responsibility to look after him, his own family doesn't want anything to do with him. I don't understand he was able to get from the pub, and find the right house, open the front door but that was it, couldn't get into his flat. How can someone be this bad. Is this normal with alcoholics? Could I just step over him the next time and not care?

Squatman

 it's not my responsibility to look after him,

Step over him and mind your own business. nothing to do with you. and if you feel you must interfere in other peoples business, call the local gards and he will get b&B for himself. not your place to interfere and be putting him into his own house.

XsApollo

Step over him the next time.

no point in saying anything to him or helping him, you more than likely wouldn’t be the first person to tell him or give advice.

inform the landlord this time what he is at and to deal with it.

spaceHopper

I you think he's not safe call an ambulance, if you can out him in the recovery position on his side. After that it's not your problem.

Let the LL know the security problems.

How he got home, either he got drunker as he walked home or he was helped home by "friends" who abandoned him inside the door.

Poiuy_b

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119275220#Comment_119275220

I wasn't interfering in anyone's business. He mentioned before that he had heart issues. I hadn't a clue if he was sick or something. What was I meant to do, just leave him? I eventually realised he was just drunk. But I had to wheel the wheelie bins out for collection, they are kept at the back of the house and I had to wheel it through the house to the front and he was in the way anyways.

Next time I will just step over him though. I don't need to be dealing with drunks at all.

Count Dracula

It is really none of your business, you share a hallway, that is about it. I understand that you are trying to help your neighbour, but you are kind of wasting your time here to be honest. I find it hard to believe that you haven't dealt with a drunk before either, Ireland is full of them? They may not always have been on your doorstep... but hey, welcome to the jungle baby.

To answer your initial question, I would keep being friendly and neighbourly to your neighbour, love them. The reality is that alcohol abuse is a very common issue in Ireland and has been for centuries. If you attempt to bring the matter up in the morning you will be initially met with a trite apology, smothering your neighbour's genuine feelings about you sticking your nose in where it does not belong. Don't bother. Your neighbour knows exactly where he is in life and how he is currently managing things, he does not need you to remind him, unless your buying lol.

Be polite and be a neighbour. As long as he is paying his rent your LL will not want to know.

anewme

i find some of the responses strange here.

If the neighbour wants to be drunk on the street that’s one thing but opening up the front door, leaving it wide open and then passing out is something else. That is a risk to the safety and security of all of the other tenants and needs to be dealt with.

its a difficult one as the man clearly has enough problems without getting out out, but you have to think of safety if everyone.

id also not call helping someone interfering in their business. Man could have choked on his own vomit and then OP would have felt guilty for just stepping over him. Mind you, sane could have happened in his bed after you put him in. I’d call the Gardai and ambulance next time OP if it happens again.

Wanderer78

some responses are actually very disturbing, it shows how much work we have to do in regards dealing with mental health and addiction issues, even though there can be no easy solutions for many of these situations. this is a difficult one, the person in question clearly needs professional help asap, but this could be difficult to obtain, but surely theres groups such as aa that could be contacted? contacting the landlord could actually exasperate the situation, but its an understandable reaction....

Poiuy_b

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279267#Comment_119279267

After dealing with him, the other evening and realising he was a complete drunk, I'm just going to step over him in future.

NiceFella

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279442#Comment_119279442

Have you any personal experience with alcoholics? I've a few in my family (sober now thankfully) and I would say I was very close to cutting them out of my life such was the destruction they caused. I have the utmost sympathy for the condition but the old saying "You can't help someone who won't help themselves" is very true.

This person is a stranger to the OP. The OP didn't sign up to be a counselor for some randomer. He's hardly going to do anything his own family haven't tried to do.

That said, I'd never step over someone. I'd put them in recovery at least but wouldn't put him in his flat. OP you could probably have a word with him when he's sober if you feel comfortable talking to him. Tell him being drunk is his problem but leaving the door wide open is everyone's problem etc. You'd be surprised that they can register that info. Also tell the landlord.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279612#Comment_119279612

yes of course, alcoholism is probably the most common form of addiction, so you ll find most would have had direct experience with it, including myself. yes addict's are extremely difficult to deal with, such is the complexity of such behaviors, but all humans are susceptible to this, including ourselves, yes it is true that people who find themselves in these situations find it virtually impossible to help themselves, this is where our social responsibility should kick in. yes most of us cannot directly help such folks, but most of us have the ability to pick up a phone and call services than can directly help, such as the emergency services.

ignoring such situations will not resolve them, we cannot continually ignore such social dysfunctions, as this will not resolve them, im guilty of doing this myself, attempting to ridicule and shame such behavior, will simply not work, direct action must be taken, baring in mind, some peoples 'rock bottom' is simply, death!

again, the op is not required to be a counselor, but a possible gateway to one, via a simply phone call.....

again, even though the advice of notifying the landlord may make sense, its very likely the landlord will respond with an eviction, this actually wont solve the problem at all, it just moves it else where, and would probably just exasperate it...

...please just make the simple phone call, and allow the professionals deal with it, and hopefully appropriately....

Its a horrible situation to be in, OP. I sympathise.

I wouldnt walk over him, or put him in the recovery position. I'd chuck a bucket of ice cold water over him to sober him up, and I would definitely raise it with the landlord as a serious issue as not only is his behaviour anti-social, but he is creating a security risk.

I'd also be terrified in his drunken state he'd start a fire in his apartment or something. (Happened to an uncle of mine, causing two fatalities including my uncle). Which may explain why I would react the way I would.

Moving is probably not an option for you in the current housing crisis, but I'd certainly be looking at that option too.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279671#Comment_119279671

...some may deem ice bucketing as a form of abuse.....

xzanti

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279612#Comment_119279612

I agree. My advice also is to involve the landlord; for security reasons. Does he smoke OP? Make sure all fire alarms are in working condition. I used to live in one of those Georgian houses converted into flats myself. I also had a similar neighbour who lived in the basement. He was a nightmare.

We would often chat to him during the day if he was sober. Before long he was knocking on our flat door at all hours looking to have the 'the craic' with us and posting strange notes under the door.

Your neighbour is more than likely a lovely man and my heart goes out to him. Drink is a terrible affliction. But keep yourself below his radar if you can.

Pawwed Rig

Why not just call.an ambulance and let them deal with it? Being that drunk can easily be fatal.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279678#Comment_119279678

Let them.

PalLimerick

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279678#Comment_119279678

And assault. Do it to a Garda and you'll realise how serious it is

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279701#Comment_119279701

...again, addiction is a default outcome of psychological distress, i.e. mental health issues, throwing water over such as person, effectively could be seen as the equivalent of jamming salt into a deep physical wound, we see physical wounds, but we experience psychological ones, and they are truly extremely painful, possible far more painful than physical ones....

Big Bag of Chips

Wanderer78, I know you mean well, but what do you honestly think the OP making a phone call to AA is going to achieve? She knows nothing about this person. AA is a voluntary organisation where alcoholics go, voluntarily, when they decide they can't live that life anymore. People from AA are volunteers, they themselves dealing with their own issues. I'm not sure they could do anything for the OP. They're not going to come out to the address and speak to the man.

If I found someone passed out in a public hallway I'd call an ambulance, and possibly the landlord. Roll the man over on his side so he won't choke on his vomit and then wait for the ambulance. There is nothing else really that you can do. And doing anything else is drawing the man on yourself and letting both of you feel that he is somehow your responsibility.

He will have family and friends. Call an ambulance if you think he's in medical danger and let them contact his next of kin, family on his phone etc.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279733#Comment_119279733

...again, or making a 999 call, thats if you can get through!

...the person is already in deep need of professional help, just make the 999 call....

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279671#Comment_119279671

That's what I'd be concerned about and what the landlord should be concerned about - fire......

Poiuy_b

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279671#Comment_119279671

I'm very worried about fire as well. If he can forget to close the door, he can also forget to switch off the cooker.

I don't have the landlord's details as I'm dealing with an agency. So not sure about letting them know. They probably already know because he's been renting a very long time and it seems like tenants move on from my flat fairly quickly. But not sure about moving either as I would probably end up in another flat and there's no guarantee of getting nice neighbours/could be more alcoholics or drug addicts.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058252614/drunken-neighbour

This is a little bit worse than the standard Irish middle-aged man with a fondness for drink. Once their wife leaves them they tend to fall to pieces.

Your attitude to life sounds a bit immature. You speak as if bad or unfortunate things shouldn’t cross your path unless you “sign up” for them (like a 12-month 3-Ireland phone contract). Don’t be so arrogant just because things are going so well for you at present that you or one of your relatives couldn’t find yourself in a similar situation. Is it too much too ask for you to take 30-minutes out of your day to prevent your neighbour from dying (sorry for inconveniencing you) ? The man’s life is obviously out of control. If everyone decides just to retreat into their own comfort zone society will implode.

My own experience of being really drunk is that an autopilot mechanism kicks in during blackouts that enables me to get in the front door but switches off once I’m safe and can sleep. If he’s not locking the front door I would tell him when he’s sober (he won’t care) but also inform the landlord.

Big Bag of Chips

Well then contact the agent. Tell them there's a problem with a tenant leaving the building unsecured

breezy1985

What do you do with a drunken neighbour ?

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@breezy1985 please read The Forum Charter. Personal Issues is a heavily moderated forum.

Gant21

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279781#Comment_119279781

Cut their dole.

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Warned for Breach of Charter and off topic posting.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279721#Comment_119279721

I'm sure suffocating on smoke or burning to death is pretty painful too.

Assault my arse. This drunk's addiction and psychological distress is not the OP's problem. His behaviour is, and it is putting the safety and security of the OP and other tenants of the building at risk.

Let him call the gardai if he wants. f he remembers it when he wakes up.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279794#Comment_119279794

how would this resolve the situation?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279803#Comment_119279803

....maybe by dialing 999, everyone becomes aware of the situation, possible preventing such a disaster!

....again, theyre clearly in serious psychological distress, again, would you attempt to fix a persons physical injury such as a serious brake or deep wound, with salt?

...shaming and ridiculing those with psychological issues has not worked, it has just exasperated their issues...

Poiuy_b

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279803#Comment_119279803

And does a cold bucket of water wake them up? But then it means having to find them in the hallway again but it doesn't always happen. He could be in his flat completely drunk and being a danger and like you said, possibly causing fire.

Poiuy_b

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279823#Comment_119279823

You could be right about calling 999. But would an ambulance deal with a drunk?

DarkJager21

To those advocating throwing ice water on him, have you ever seen how uncontrollable and aggressive someone blind drunk can turn in the blink of an eye? Terrible advice