Like him but two very different kissing styles

fevertrees

Met this lovely fella I've a lot in common with recently. He's also very handsome!

But (and isn't there always a but?) he's a terrible kisser. He's 25 and honestly kisses like we're both 15. I'm mostly a lip locking, hint of tongue here and there person. I gently asked him to be less "tonguey" and he still didn't know what he was at. Is there a way I can communicate this? I've always dated lads with a similar way of kissing to me (not purposely, it's just always worked out that way).

kippy

Yer both adults. Tell him exactly your expectations and see if he can adapt to them. This should be a fairly minor issue to resolve should the will be there.

YellowLead

If you have asked him to use less tongue and he didn’t, it doesn’t sound like it’s fixable! Personally, kissing is too important to me to be bothered with anyone if the kiss is shite, I think it’s a sign of incompatibility/off chemistry rather than bad skills - just different styles.

Count Dracula

You would want to be getting your ducks in a row there love?

Don't destroy the poor fella, he might not take it well and dump you first, how would you feel about that?

Straight question, would you go out with a less attractive man if he proved to be a better kisser?

A lack of chemistry and any sexual incongruence in your early stages of courting could easily capitulate your future together.

What exactly do you have in common with him? Is it so important as to sacrifice your sexual enjoyment?

RojaStar

Ugh there's nothing worse than the disappointment of realising your crush is a bad kisser. It's not so much that they're bad but they are just not compatible with you. Suppose it comes down to how important good snoggage is for you in a relationship. You haven't mentioned if you've gone any further than that but maybe the sexual chemistry would be better and you could live with it? Sounds like you're close to getting the ick and there's no going back from there imo.

fevertrees

Nah we've only kissed thus far. It's possible I'd sacrifice that if everything else in that arena is good? I'm not even the biggest kisser, but I do think it matters in the early stages where you are kissing all the time.

He's genuinely hilarious and we both have similar hobbies and interests. We're even of a similar personality from what I've seen! Early days but still!!

Jequ0n

As with your previous threads: you are terrible at communicating your needs and you complicate things unnecessarily. He sounds inexperienced by the sounds of it. If you like him just take the lead and teach him how to kiss properly instead or waiting around for him to magically guess what you want.

Personally I don’t see the point in kissing unless it’s part of foreplay or a lead up to sex, so it the latter isn’t in the cards (yet) then he might not want to be too forward with you.

Don’t take this the wrong way but dating you sounds overly complicated.

Jafin

I'd say have another conversation with him and offer to "teach" him the style that you like, but not in a "you don't know what you're doing" kind of way. Also ask him what he likes. Every person has their own kissing likes and dislikes. He could be in his head about it all too. Last guy I was dating, our first kiss was absolutely awful because I hadn't been on a date in four years and I was completely in my head about it during the kiss. We had a very brief conversation about it a few days later, and the kissing after that was much better.