How much to spend on an engagement ring? Proposing abroad

Fiyatoe

Hi all,

I am heading abroad next month with my girlfriend when we’ll be 4 years together.

I went into our local jeweller today by myself (up north) and they were very helpful.

I had a picture of 2 rings she tried on at Xmas in a jewellers abroad, we went in messing around then but she genuinely liked the style of those two.

the jeweller matched something similar - I have a picture of 6 rings in the local shop now.

they range in price from £1500 pounds sterling to £5K sterling.

lads - honestly what do people generally spend? Neither of us are 30 yet, but we have our own home. So I can’t afford the ring in the £3,000+ range.

im a bit lost - I need to find out her ring size, whether she definitely wants gold banding or silver / platinum.

do people generally buy it outright or on credit?

I’ve also heard of people bringing “dress rings” or placeholder rings when the proposal is abroad.

im not sure what to do. I suppose the real question I’m most concerned about is what’s the general budget? I don’t want to spend too little but also not too much, after all I’ll expect she’ll be sending her friends and family pictures of it when we’re abroad, as I’m doing it at the start of the holiday!

I have no idea about the whole carat thing, the jeweller explained some of it to me and the gradings etc. they were Hatton garden rings from London.

thank you in advance, all help appreciated!

markpb

Buy what you can afford and not a penny more. Tell no-one how much you spent and never think about it again. You can easily fall into the trap of overthinking it and overspending and no-one will ever appreciate it.

Calahonda52

the the whole carat thing is a carrot to relieve you of more mula.

So you have your house: how are the house hold expenses dealt with: so will the money be your collective funds or just yours, does she have her own slush fund?

I would not blow big mula on a ring now in the current economic climate, bring a placeholder and buy it together when you come home

Spanish Eyes

Get a cheapo for the proposal, then go together to choose one at home. A good jeweller if given the heads up will only show her rings within your budget, and there should be no price tag attached.

ilovesmybrick

Propose and ask her to pick the ring with you. Honestly there's too much emphasis on the carats/cost/months salary etc. My missus picked one that while a bit pricey, was far cheaper and nicer than anything that was suggested as an engagement ring, and then we spent a fair bit of cash on the wedding rings themselves. Seems to have gotten far more positive comments too than the regular engagement rings.

Also consider stones that aren't diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds. They are (to me) far nicer and more striking than diamonds, and substantially better value. Either way go with what you can afford. The ring is essentially a token, it's the actual commitment that matters. Though I may have lucked out with a wife with a similar mindset!

Three times your monthly pay, op.

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119490534#Comment_119490534

Ah now.

It's a single month's pay is the guideline. After tax. The average spend is around €2000 euro these days I think I read. But the right answer is what you feel comfortable spending.

BailMeOut

buy smart. I bought a very nice diamond wholesale and had a jeweler set it to a platinum band and it saved me a fortune. We had it valued recently for home insurance and another jeweler valued it as 3x what I paid and my wife adores the ring. Personally, I think focusing on 'clarity' over carat and cut is better but look for something that really sparkles. Also nothing wrong with buying a second-hand diamond ring and getting the stone set in a new band.

cezanne

they say 1 to 3 months salary is the measure to go by

cezanne

Go to Antwerp for a week end buy a diamond and then have it set there you wont believe the value to be had there as cmpared to ireland where the VAT is huge/ also consider a vintage ring and go to antique stores and often you can get a very good ring at oreilly auctions in Dublin catalogue is normally on line prior to auction..

brokenangel

It’s a once in a lifetime event so not sure why you would cheap out, if you plan on asking then you have time so decide on the ring and pay it off over a period while planning out how to ask

If you are under time constraints then buy a ring of some sort for proposal and get something later with her and again pay it off

in reality it is an assets that hopefully you will pass onto kids etc

markpb

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119490647#Comment_119490647

“They” are the diamond industry. They have a vested interest in making you feel that you’re cheap-ing out if you don’t spend that much. Don’t forget that you’ll most likely have a wedding in the future which won’t be cheap either.

shawki

I paid €2,500 in 2017 which the price point the style of ring she wanted started to look decent.

If I spent any more, she would have made me bring it back. To be honest if the rings in €1,500-€2,500 range looked decent I would have just spent that.

Fuck the assholes who judge you over the “3 Months” ****.

They probably married someone awkward who demanded they spend that much.

cezanne

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119490729#Comment_119490729

I worked in the jewellery industry & sold diamond rings to young couples and sometimes i wanted to tell them not to buy the shite within their budget. It had loads of illusion setting and merely chips off good diamonds. I had discounts and opportunities to buy mine whole sale & still opted to go to the Jewish quarter in Antwerp both sides of the street lined in jewellery shops a far as the eye can see, a fabulous experience.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119490565#Comment_119490565

I was kidding. A mate of mine spent about 200 quid on his own ring cos he knew he'd lose it and would need to buy it again.

De_man

As previously mentioned I’d examine a trip to Antwerp, what I did years ago

Ryanair to Charleroi train direct within 45mins

do your research beforehand though

and check if it’s a lab grown diamond as they are more reasonable, had a quick look there as an example 2600 0.75cct halo,

best of luck

put_the_kettle_on

OP, I've dealt in pre owned jewellery for years. If you were to spend around 1500 quid at auction then you'd get a ring that would cost you 4 to 5 thousand in a retail jewellers.

Feel free to pm me if you need any advice or directions on buying. I love helping people get maximum bang for their buck.

Fiyatoe

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119490534#Comment_119490534

😖😖😁😂 ouch. Have heard this yeah

Fiyatoe

The antwerp idea is interesting, aside from jewellery is it a nice area to visit for a weekend? Only been to Brussels once, wasn’t fussed. Brugge was nice though for a day trip.

seems a lot of effort for a ring!

Fiyatoe

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119491229#Comment_119491229

Thank you, I tried to click onto your profile but it says private . Sorry I’m not on this much

cezanne

Dont laugh but on adverts .ie there is a vintage seller of rings to give you an idea of prices she is based in Maynooth has about 50 rings up. go to jewellry & then rings then engagement just to show you whats out there.

Fiyatoe

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119491545#Comment_119491545

I’ll take a look now thanks

put_the_kettle_on

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119491464#Comment_119491464

Apologies, I didn't realise I'd set it that way. It's public now.

Fiyatoe

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119491545#Comment_119491545

Just viewed them they’re very different and beautiful!

Timfy

My wife's engagement ring cost all of £75.00, not because I'm cheap but because it was the one she fell in love with (antique emerald in an ornate art nouveau setting)

An engagement ring is not about the cost, it's about the sentiment. I despise people who describe jewellery by price. You hear them say "Ya, €10,000... cut? Eh, not sure, Quality? Eh, good I suppose"

My wife would describe her ring as "A cloudy little emerald set in the most beautiful handworked silver. It once belonged to a girl who was in service at Highclere castle and it brought her everything her small dreams could ask for throughout her life."

My wife would not swap that ring for a 5 carat off the shelf one despite what De Beers would have you believe!

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119491462#Comment_119491462

Antwerp is alright. It's a mix of colonial wealth mixed with post war slapdash builds. Beer is really good there. If you're into art, Ruben's house is there and is a cool visit. They're famous for the waffles, and also chips with mayo and all sorts on top.

The diamond district needs a bit of local knowledge I'd say to find ethical diamonds. It's near the main train station, which somehow is always an odd part of any city. Sometimes if you even paused to look in a window there are lads approaching you trying to sell diamonds on the street.

cezanne

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119492173#Comment_119492173

a vintage ring is unique and not just a cheap copy of a kardashian ring which a lot of stupid women choose forgetting they can buy another one. A classic ring is for a life time. if you contact that seller she could have some beautiful classic rings. I have my grandmothers hand cut 5 stone ring from the 1930's its just stunning and it much more admired than my own one both of them i love.

Had this conversation with the gf recently and I'm adamantly against the idea of spending thousands on a ring. I said I'd prefer to buy her an engagement car or something else she can use. I'm quite the romantic as you can tell. I was hoping more people in this thread would be thinking along the same lines. Why do people accept this so readily? Or am I mad?

witchgirl26

Honestly OP I'd get a nice cheap enough ring for the proposal & make a day of it going out to try on rings properly & not just messing around. I had an idea in my head of what type of ring I wanted but when we actually went shopping, the one I thought I wanted, I just couldn't picture myself wearing for the rest of my life. It was lovely but just not right. Also I tried on ones with a wedding band as that can change the look too. I ended up with a vintage ring which is completely unique & a better quality diamond than anything within our budget if I'd gone new. FYI I love my proposal ring & still wear it all the time.

witchgirl26

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119497648#Comment_119497648

Honestly I wouldn't really like that idea. I wouldn't be saying spend loads on the ring if you're not comfortable with it but maybe a compromise there & spend a little bit on the ring & then also the car or whatever.

Wezz

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119497648#Comment_119497648

Don’t think it’s mad at all. My girlfriend doesn’t wear rings and has no interest in them. Buying her a ring would be a waste of money because she wouldn’t like it so I wouldn’t bother. I did ask her once what would be a good substitute for a ring and she asked why do you have buy anything, just propose and be done with it and I can’t argue with that! We don’t have any plans to get married but it’s nice to know if things do go that way that she’s not materialistic and would have her priorities right.