Were you bullied at any stage of your life?

freshpopcorn

Primary school slightly at times but nothing major. Apart from Junior Infants.(I'm a short guy) a bunch of guys use hold hands and form a circle around me and not leave me out. I don't know how often it happened. It gave me night mares tough.

Secondary school was worse there was a lot of comments/verbal stuff(about my appearance) and I did isolate myself. Looking back on things tough I think I over thought a lot of comments and wasn't able to deal with situations correctly. (One guy did p*ss on my locker but I he had his ow demons).

College was the worst. Certain people were fairly nasty mainly in the first term.

Work was never an issue.

Were you bullied at any stage of your life?

Mister Vain

A couple of years during secondary school. I eventually stood up to them and it stopped. I just wish I did it sooner. Primary school was generally ok apart from the odd scrap.

I was subjected to pretty much constant low level mockery and intimidation from 3rd class to around 3rd year. But it never turned physical.

I have enrolled my kids (age 4 and 6) in BJJ, to make them 'bullyproof'.

Dial Hard

Nope. A couple of people tried once or twice, but didn't get far because I genuinely didn't care what they thought of me.

I found school, pretty easy, tbh. Wasn't ever part of a particular clique or "genre" but got along with all of them. Had a core group of friends and between us we kind of straddled all the different groups - I played football but was also a major drama nerd, my best friend was our year's best athlete by far, another was mad into debate, etc. I got on well with pretty much all of my teachers and found the academic side of things very easy. Probably too easy, tbh, it made me a bit lazy.

I'm still the kind of person you could drop into pretty much any social setting and I'd have no problem chatting away to people, which was probably hugely beneficial in school. I could get along with everyone, even if I didn't particularly like them.

Gregor Samsa

When I was in Senior Infants (late 70s), there was a girl in 5th class who used to bully us. I remember her as being very small and slight, not much bigger than us 6 year olds, but she had a bigger, fatter friend who was her enforcer. She used to make us kneel in front of her and "worship" her, and would pinch us hard and drag us by the hair if we didn't. It really upset me.

I organised a group of boys from all the JI classes to put a stop her. We surrounded her in the schoolyard one day, in a big ring, and I was just about to make this "you leave us alone you big bully" speech, when she literally stamped her foot, and the posse literally scarpered screaming. So I was left on my own to tell her that she couldn't intimidate us any more, which obviously didn't work as she had just intimidated everyone away. So I got the pinch and hair grab treatment.

I gave up and told my mother about it. I know she went to the principal about it, but I'm not sure really what happened after that, other than she left us alone.

My dad's advice on bullying was always "punch them hard in the gut". Only had to do that once, when I was about 9, to some kid who was trying to do the cliché give me your lunch money.

When I was in first year in secondary school, some kid in 3rd year started trying to intimidate me over the course of the first week or so. He and his mates picked me up one day and put me in through the open window of a locked classroom at lunchtime, then held the window shut, stupid stuff like that. He grabbed me out on the field one day, and I instinctively grabbed him back. and ripped his school shirt clean open and all the buttons popped off one by one onto the grass.The net effect was that all his mates burst out laughing at him, and he never went near me again.

Other than that, I never had any issues that I couldn't nip right in the bud. Never personally encountered any attempts at bullying at all after about 3rd year in secondary. I have to admit, I have a hard time even visualising what adult bullying would look like, because I just wouldn't tolerate anyone speaking or acting like that to me. Not that I'd get physical or anything, I just wouldn't take it seriously, or I'd walk off. Although I have seen other people I know suffer in their work or other organisations they're involved in, so maybe I've just been lucky. Although I'm a fairly easygoing person and get on with most people in most situations.

Furze99

Couple of lads, brothers - used to give me a hard time in national school. Constant digs into the shoulder with the knuckle but done in a passive aggressive type of way as in 'how are ye' - dig. Funny thing is that even though I detested them, partic the older lad, I was kinda friendly with them, would go around on bikes outside school etc. Great when I got to leave national school though, can still recall the relief and to be shot of the two bastards.

NiceFella

Was never really bullied myself but remember a day in 6th class the biggest bully going in my school got his comuppence. This chap was such a b*ll*x that all the other years knew about him. Tormented everyone and had a small possy of burn out side kicks to help him along. I still see him today and he is in and out of prison so you get the idea, chap was just born bad.

Anyway, the crazy thing is the guy that sorted him out was one of the nicest laid back chaps in school. Just kept his head down.

The whole school was lined up before 9 to be picked up by our respective teachers and bully boy slaps a yogurt out of the sound lads hand. Without a moments hesitation he flattened him with a dig. The whole school, literally 100s of people cheering the sound lad on. Bully tries to get back up and sound lad flattens him again. It was epic. Even the teachers who were breaking it up were smirking.

He was still a bully after but people were not as intimidated by him anymore. Everyone just kept bringing up the fight. Great to see.

Motivator

I’d have got bits and pieces of it over the years but nothing major really. There was one fool in my class from 1st year to 3rd year who was just a waster. Just one of those fellas that you knew would amount to nothing. Instead of lunch or money for lunch, his father would give him a banana and 2 fags each day. That kind of thing.

His antics with certain lads in the class were just a defence mechanism for him being thick. He used to give one lad an awful time just constantly nipping away at him thinking he was a great fella. One day in English class the teacher had obviously noticed that there was something coming from this guy on a constant, sneaky basis. She announced she wanted one student, picked at random of course, to stand up and read a lengthy poem in front of the whole class. The poem was probably a 6th year poem she had us reading as 12 and 13 year olds. Your man got such a roasting off the whole class for not being able to read it properly that he got even more aggressive. We had a very quiet, but extremely volatile guy in the class who literally never said 2 words. One day in 3rd year the mouthy bully decided he’d rip on your man for no reason at all. The guy absolutely levelled him with a headbutt.

Aglomerado

Several times! In primary school by the principal teacher of all people. The other teachers were great and I loved them all. The other kids were grand too. One boy and I used to get into scraps but I gave as good as I got so not bullying as such.

Successions of b!tches in secondary and almost quit were it not for good friends and teachers who believed in me and encouraged me.

In my first job by a junior colleague, same level as myself. I had a degree, she did not, so she was always finding fault with everything I did and even sabotaged my work to try and get me fired. (It didn't work).

Hasn't happened to me in a while now but I've sufficient experience now to not take sh!t from anyone.

banie01

Yes, had run ins with a teacher in secondary school that eventually led to him physically attacking me and in that most internet of manners 😉 I laid into him and left him bloodied before I walked down to the principal's office to lay what happened and why. I was about 15 at the time. The story can be verified by the other 27 lads in the class at the time and it was discussed on a thread about the school too. Suffice it to say I wasn't censured and that particular prick faced his comeuppance.

In day to day life, particularly at home, I was the eldest of 8 and my own sperm donor was a bit of a cúnt. My mother took the brunt of it but I managed to get myself in between her and him when I could. He was/is a vile bully but if I can take one thing from that? It's made me a better father. It's just a matter of doing the opposite 😉

That went on until I was 11/12 and 1st 3 siblings. My mother met my step father and had 4 more siblings. He isn't perfect, but he was good to my mam and to us.

I remember telling some friends stories of some the things my sperm donor did to me and they started crying, it wasn't until then? Until I'd spoken about it and seen how it affected others? That it dawned on me that being battered wasn't normal 🤷‍♂️

I think I turned out okay. The details aren't something I dwell on, I've dealt with it, I hope.

AllForIt

OP, I'm sorry to hear you experienced so much bullying in your life. Just remember these bullies are total c*unts.

I can't abide bullies, especially adult ones. Smart ass pricks who don't know how dumb they are. They make some peoples work life hell and I think that's utterly deplorable.

Pissy Missy

Yup, in primary and secondary school

Jequ0n

No, and I find it strange that so many people seem to get bullied.

helimachoptor

Not really, when i was in primary school, a lad a year ahead was kept back, for a few weeks my drink kept going missing, turns out he was stealing it.

Found him in the act one day (we were at the same table), he pushed me (he was a big lump of a kid) so i picked up the school chair by the legs and smashed him in the face with the back support part.

Never happened again, principal said next time "use your fists", mid 80s, different time!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119513741#Comment_119513741

What do you find strange about it? Human nature is nasty and the gravitational pull towards tyranny is ever present, even today. Bullying was ubiquitous and normal for almost all of human history, with the most brutal and aggressive men intimidating and dominating entire territories as warlords or chieftains. The invention of firearms started to turn the tables, along with the monopolisation of force by the state.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119514077#Comment_119514077

I agree that societal expectations clash with human nature. I also think that some situations which are classified as bullying are no such thing (it’s just a concept that means different things to different people). But maybe that’s just because I have never been on the receiving end of it, so I probably have a very different perspective.

This doesn’t mean that I condone it btw.

Wanderer78

part and parcel of my disorder unfortunately.....

Greyfox

I was for a good while in secondary school, sadly bullying still happens in every school in the country, the scumbag bully's don't realise the deep harm that they do. I made the terrible mistake of thinking that fighting back would make things worse.

Luckily I moved on and forgave myself for not standing up for myself at the time. Once I left school I was never bullied again, I'd almost like to meet a bully now as I'd now be well able to deal with them.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119514527#Comment_119514527

still rife in the work place also....

black & white

1st year secondary school in the south east, mid '70's. A fellow 1st year boarder who was from Mayo used to beat me regularly but he was related to one of the staff so nothing was ever done. I passed through his town 2 years ago and the memories flooded back.

Greyfox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119514533#Comment_119514533

I feel its a little different in the workplace although it does still exist there. Kids are nastier in general and it's a bit harder for schools to catch bully's.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119514614#Comment_119514614

thats very debatable, in my own experiences, theres virtually no difference between workplace and school environment bullying, its all sh1t, you d like to think adults know what theyre doing in the workplace, but some really really dont, many have very serious unresolved issues, and have brought them to the workplace, it generally leads to a highly toxic work environment, adults can be right fcuking arseholes, extremely nasty to one another

JupiterKid

Two major episodes of bullying that I endured - between 1st year and 3rd year in secondary school (late 1980s) which made my life pure hell but it stopped after an incident that landed me in hospital and got the main bully expelled and two others suspended for a month.

The worst was the workplace bullying I endured years ago (between 2007 and 2009 to be exact) under a new boss - involving criticising anything I did which got worse over time, gaslighting, giving me unrealistic deadlines, lying to my colleagues in order to make things more difficult for me. It ended in a daily bollocking in his private office most days and I was suicidal at that point.

I ended up taking action and I got an out of court settlement but it destroyed my self-esteem and mental health and I turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with crippling anxiety - and that nearly killed me.

I loathe bullies and bullying in any shape or form.

yourdeadwright

I never got bullied but i was lucky because of circumstance, there was several moments through out Primary school & secondary school & my formative years where i recognised that someone ( different people) was trying to bully me, I was always quick to stand my ground or on some occasions turn the tables so the person just left it,

I was really lucky though as i grow up with older brothers , so at home things where taken off you , & you got a few bumps from them so minor physical altercations where a weekly event so intimidation didn't really scare me at that age, Plus older kids knew i had people looking out for me

I also had the pleasure of going to a school & having a group of friends there who didn't stand for bullying, Anyone in our circle or outside it would be call out on bullying so in our own year it didn't go on much at all,

Iv always looked back and thought how lucky i was in that regard because , not only did it mean you were not bullied yourself but also that you would not become a bully,

One thing i fear most for my own kids is that are not bullied & probably even more importantly they do not become bullies

I absolutely detest bullies at any age,

Greyfox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119514649#Comment_119514649

It's less common in the workplace and rarely turns physical but when it happens in the workplace its just as bad

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119515002#Comment_119515002

again, id disagree, its rife in the workplace, many people ive spoken to have seen it and experienced it, in both the public and private sectors, theres many highly dysfunctional adults out there, never truly emotional matured, which leads them to such behaviors, modern society is also highly stressful, which can lead to such.....

Raven1221

At school it happened. I do not clearly remember. I have grow and it did not happens again. Being big or tall is a major advantage.

Greyfox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119515022#Comment_119515022

Most companies offer processes that deal with bullying, by law they have to take bullying very seriously. In my 20 years working ive never spoken to anybody who experienced or witnessed bullying in the workplace. Yes it does happen in the workplace but the form it takes is a bit different.

Flaccus

Secondary school Inter cert class was full of bullies. So went on for 3 years+. And where I lived as a teenager there was one particular bully who bullied a lot of people in the estate for years. I met him later in life and he apologized. He has since died. Never happened once after the age of 15 though. I have never had anyone attempt to bully me in the workplace either.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119515086#Comment_119515086

yup, but many companies do a lot of talking about dealing with such issues, including mental health issues etc, but in reality, do virtually fcuk all, a lot of activities are box ticking, with virtually little or no action, ive heard this from many, and have witnessed and experienced this myself. the precarious nature of a lot of employment plays into this also, as many victims will simply not pursue these issues, in the fear of termination and ostracisation in the workplace....

Sunny Disposition

A little bit as a teenager, found it hard.

An interesting thing now that I think of it is that I've been in positions for nearly all of my adult life where I couldn't be bullied, or at least couldn't be bullied in the way I was at that stage. I did encounter a little bit of workplace bullying as a young man, and I was very unforgiving to the perpetrator even though he genuinely tried to make amends, and I ended up quitting the job a few months later. Maybe I've been protecting myself without even knowing it.

Sunny Disposition

Also, I think workplace bullying was absolutely rampant until the 90s, but people were powerless to do anything at all about it. It's different now, thankfully. There'd be huge stigma to being accused of bullying in the workplace.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119515126#Comment_119515126

I agree. Workplace anti bullying campaigns are usually window dressing and box ticking.

It might be more prevalent in some industries and departments though where it is part of the culture.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119515219#Comment_119515219

very true, im obviously only speaking from my own experiences mainly, so id like to think some industries have a good handle on this, but i suspect a lot of bullying is covert now, but still exists, ive even seen it at managerial level, and heard its rife in some industries, also at that level, service sectors, i.e. call centers etc....

pgj2015

No. good for them as well because I wouldn't let them away with it. I always keep my head down but I cant let something like that go. You cause me trouble and you will get it back in spades.

MayoAreMagic

Some amount in primary school by a guy who had his own issues later in life.

Not so much in second level. Bits of name calling or mocking but I wouldnt consider it bullying as I probably gave a bit back too.

One thing that does annoy me is people misusung the term or pulling the bullying card. They could be acting like a selfish g*bshite or being deliberately sneaky and if someone told them to cop onto themselves they say they are bullying them. It isnt bullying, it is just reality calling. Deep down they know it isnt bullying also, which is really annoying.

PoisonIvyBelle

..

Graces7

Yes. For many years at many times in my long life. The reasons for bullying are many and varied of course. Let anyone try it now and they will regret it. It is a cowardly way to behave as it always victimises someone who is different and who they think will not retaliate.. Accent on "who they think" ...

Potential-Monke

I was probably bullied more than most, from about 5th class into 6th year, and to some degree in adulthood. When I was in 5th class primary, I ended up "fighting" every male in 5th and 6th class. Why? I was short and ginger. That's it. People saw me as an easy target that stands out (roaring red hair when I was younger, and a bowla to boot!). I drew some, but lost most. Continued into secondary school, I was petrified of being put head first into a wheelie bin as was happening around the time. Didn't happen thankfully, but I was in quite a few defensive fights in secondary school too. Again, drew some, lost most but won a few! Every day I'd get the usual verbal taunts from the cool boys and their gang, and then from the trouble boys and their gang, especially the women of them. Spiteful little bitches.

It continued until about half way into 6th year when the lanky cnut behind me was flicking the back of my head calling me names. I had enough at that point, stood up, picked up my table and threw it at him. Sat back down and waited for the teacher to come in so I could be sent to the principal. Was never bullied after that again in school. Think people thought I may have snapped or something. Last few months were peaceful, only ruined by leaving cert stress.

Onto work and the name calling continued, but in the "hah hah I'm only messing" kind of way; disguised bullying. No more physical fights though, just verbal from then on, which, imo, is far worse. Plenty of bullies in plenty of different jobs throwing their weight around. Met a few power tripping sergeants while I was a Garda, but I was able to deal with them at that point.

It's human nature to have a superiority complex. Most people keep it to themselves, but there'll always be those who need to show off how much better they are. That's bullying, just in a different form. I don't let anyone talk to me like that anymore. I call them out on it, and they're so shocked they got called out that it usually resolves the problem. But doesn't happen much anymore. I'm unsocial and work nights, so my interactions with humanity is limited to those I have no choice in working with (a handful), and people I genuinely consider friends or family, so no bullying there. People can go and get fcuked for all I care now.

Strumms

In school hardly ever except once by a teacher in 4th class, we only had the feral little geebag for a year thankfully. A rough year.

Socially never.

in a workplace once… for a reasonable duration of time but it was by a supervisor.. the manager and colleagues were ok with me and the bullying only ever happened when said manager was off on holidays or sick and said supervisor became acting manager. Workload increased by about 40% daily and ALL the more labor intensive / shîtty tasks were assigned to me…

I have it on authority that almost 10 years later he is still a supervisor, which for a 50 or so year old with 25 years experience working there must be a bit grim considering how much ambition he had to enter the management sphere.

The_Kew_Tour

Nothing really much of note in primary but I do remember in second and third years getting hassle from few lads in my year.

Turns out one lad made up lies about me for whatever reason and few believed it. I moved across to England for year after and when came back trouble had stopped.

Generally had great time in school though. Still have great friends for it.

Graces7

Bullying online is so cowardly!

screamer

Yes in secondary school and even by teachers who used to mock me and make a joke out of mispronouncing my name to give the class a laugh. Anyways, I stood up to them and was sent to the head masters office for that. I was 13 then. I got bullied by other kids till 4th year, by which time I had developed a quick wit and sharp tongue and they knew they’d get it back from me if they started. In my experience teachers were useless to help, and when I stood up for myself I got in trouble. Getting hit with a meter stick over my little 4 year old knuckles though, that trumps any bullying in secondary school and is my abiding memory of primary.

Lewis_Benson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119540431#Comment_119540431

Sorry to hear that happened to you.

That boils my piss.

Mr_Muffin

My advice to anyone being bullied is to let someone know, an adult, teacher etc. If it then doesn't stop, become the predator and attack the bullies whenever you get a chance. No survivors, just full-on attack mode. It's the only language most bullies know.

Strumms

Yep, you need to fight fire with fire.

it’s a more successful tactic then going the whole ‘reporting’ route.

bullying happens on a lot of occasions because it is enabled… by weak / useless / lazy / disinterested managers….

cj maxx

No, one fella in 2nd year tried to bully me but I cut the shite of him so never again.

Count Dracula

I think the sooner you are a victim of bullying the more capable you become of combatting it.

You can never remove bullying from your life without first facing up to bullying, it will not walk away until it feels threatened itself.

Too much emphasis placed on stereotypical school yard bullying. I thinks far too much time is wasted by former victims of bullying who often spend the rest of their lives trying to Police it everywhere they go, Teachers are a prime example of this. I speculate that teachers often end up coercing and isolating bullies, not just because children or teenagers who bully their own generation are fairly obvious to spot. I definitely believe that schools who have tight rules and discipline are often packed with disciplinarians who get a kick on picking on troubled kids who they reckon are fair game.

Bullying is a fact of life, ti exists everywhere.

Motivator

I remember a very tanned lad in our class who came from a piss poor family. He wasn’t Indian, he just had ridiculously Indian like features. He was regularly called a paki etc. by this one fella who was the self appointed hard man of the class. Anyway, the dark skinned chap refused to do PE one day because he had no football boots. The teacher made a smart remark about going to buy a pair and the chap said his parents hadn’t the money. The hard man chimed in and started saying he’d bring a trocaire box for him so he could get a pair of boots. The dark skinned absolutely lost it. Snapped the hard man’s arm by bending it up behind his back with serious force. I can still hear the crack of his arm and the screams that followed.

Graces7

Ah the memories... At Junior school, a gang of nasty " big girls" set upon me in the (outside) toilets... AND PUT HALF A DEAD WASP DOWN MY BACK INSIDE MY CLOTHES.

I screamed so hard they got terrified and ran for help...Life got easier after that.

katiek102010

Yup at work, twice both in the UK.

First time it was atypical nasty take the piss out of the irish girl cause she is irish shite. Some of the stuff was absolutely vile, the ringleader was of Aisan decent and when I and another girl tried to make a complaint, we were laughed at.

Second time, I witnessed something at work, the person was suspended. A few of us then went though absolute hell until a court case was over. The second case was probably more extreme intimidation as opposed to bullying but is still the stuff of nightmares. A part of the court case is still ongoing and probably will be for another year.

I have serious MH issues as a result of what happened. I'm not the only one