Seperation Advice

Negative_Nat

Brief summary of the situation:

Married 11 years, seperated 2 years, safety order in place against ex-spouse (domestic abuse).

2 children. I am primary carer and have sole custody. Ex has access 4 days a month only.

Ex went to court to REDUCE his access to his own children.

Creche fees he pays - but I have to chase constantly to get him to transfer in. He does not pay 50/50, instead he pays 30% and I pay 70% as he refuses to pay any more. Even with this 30% there is no regularlity to the payment and I have to constantly ask for the money to be transferred in. We are both in full time employment.

He does not pay maintenance.

I moved from the family home to another part of the country to remove myself and my children from the situation.

Currently I am paying huge rent, car, creche fees, childrens activities, utility bills as well as continuing to pay 50% of the mortgage for the house where he still lives.

He does not even pay for the bin charges at the house, instead bringing the rubbish to his family. Yet he still turns up at every access in new clothes and has a new car.

I am in financial difficulty.

My question is, there is X amount in an account from an asset of mine, but which is now deemed as a marital asset as it was sold during the marriage.

If I use this money to pay off my car loan, and transfer ownership of the car to a family member, can he go after this car as an asset in court?

I am not looking for legal advice on this site, I am looking for help or advice as to which way to turn given my financial situation.

phildub

The only way to turn is to a solicitor

You have a court order for custody but not maintenance? Perhaps that's a place to start?!

Some family law firms accept legal aid so you should check if you qualify. You need proper legal advise

naughtyboy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058267794/seperation-advice

Here's what you do, use the money to pay the 20% creche fees he won't pay , Also take 70 per week per child for maintenance Keep records and don't use that money for anything else but the kids

Don't confuse things by trying to hide what you have done with the money , your car plan is you overthinking it.

Senature

There are several steps to take here

1. Your ex should be paying 50% of creche fees, plus maintenance for day to day care of the kids. Take legal steps to pursue this immediately as part of divorce proceedings. It is unusual that you have been involved in legal proceedings but this hasn't been addressed?

2. In the meantime, I don't see why you can't use some of the money from the sale of the asset to help cover expenses for the kids. Keep clear records.

3. An unfortunate reality of separation is that your standard of living drops. In the past, your two incomes covered the expenses of one household. Like it or not, now they will have to cover two households. You might need to adjust your expectations on this front to some extent. As a guide I would suggest that maintenance from your ex should cover approx one third of your groceries and utilities, plus contributions towards the kids transport, school, medical/dental exps and housing. Child benefit would probably cover their clothes/shoes and activities?

Hope that helps