When to tell 5yr old about school move

justwhatithink

We are moving house and therefore my 5 year old will need to move to a new school in a different town at the start of January- we are going to let him finish out this term at his current school l, finishing up at Christmas.

I am of course a bag of nerves about this, but he is a social, outgoing child and he will most likely settle in a couple of weeks. But looking for advice on how soon to tell him? We are going to tell him about the new house this weekend, and I'm sure he'll be excited about that. And we will follow all the advice about preparing him for the school move.

But should we wait until nearer Christmas to tell him about the school move? My thinking is the earlier we tell him the longer he has to dwell on maybe missing his current school, feeling a bit sad etc. I dont want the next few weeks of school to be disrupted or painful for him.

Welcome any advice! Thanks.

You're the one who knows your own kid best so it is hard to know how to advise you.

I know for myself with my own kids I tend towards always telling them things sooner. They are thinkers who prefer to sit with things and assimilate them over time - than be hit later with them and need to react to them over a curtailed time span.

Change is always scary - at any age - but kids are robust. I tend to give them more time to deal with change and worry and concern. And help them sit with that and identify their feelings and sit with those feelings wherever those feelings go. Kids can not always identify what they are feeling and it takes time with them to help them do that.

Quite often too it is worth asking when we are concerned about something like this - is to explore who we are actually protecting by delaying. We would like to think we are doing it to protect them and make it easier for them. But sometimes we can realize we are putting it off actually to protect ourselves. Because of course we do not like seeing our kids upset or concerned or worried and dealing with the stress of that. So we put it off and we can often tell ourselves we are doing it for them. So it's at least worth exploring that each time and being sure in ourselves that something we are avoiding is actually for them and not ourselves.

Pawwed Rig

They are in junior infants yes? I don't think it will be a big deal. We moved our little one to a new school at the start of senior infants. We actually asked her if she would like to go to a new school and she was all on for it.

At that age they haven't really even settled at school yet.

justwhatithink

Thanks for the comments folks. Good to get some reassurance. I'd neay rather tell him sooner but that would be to alleviate my anxiety, having it hang over me, so I know its not right to do that for my own benefit unless it's best for him also. Maybe I'll go for the in between, give it a few weeks and tell him then a week or two before Christmas.