Letting the other person go first

Electric Gypsy

I am not talking about the general idea of letting someone go first, just something a bit more specific.

I'm a bus driver and today at a bus stop I noticed a man who was next to the door of the bus, gesture for a lady - who was about 4 yards behind him - to go into the bus first. She had to go in and thank him for this while the bus waited. Apart from the fact it delays the bus I think it's just plain rude.

Obviously every situation is different, and most of the time I see someone letting another person go in first, it is understandable as to why they'd do it. But when the other person is clearly miles behind, it's makes no sense. I often get the impression that they've been listening to some self-help podcast which mentions how you should do a good deed everyday.

Signore Fancy Pants

He just wanted to check out her gams.

sameoldname

It's the same way someone will stop to let one person out of a junction while holding up 20 cars behind them. There's no logic to it but you just have to let people off with it, in their head they did something nice and there's nothing to be gained from pointing out that they inconvenienced far more people than they helped.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119920936#Comment_119920936

Not necessarily. Usually when a car that has the right of way lets another car go, it's often for a logical reason... such as that car being half way out already. Once or twice - when it didn't feel safe to do so - I've had to nod my head and insist that their vehicle go first. If an accident happened, you'd be in the wrong.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119920929#Comment_119920929

gams?

Ten of Swords

How long did it take her to traverse this extra 4 yards?

I mean let's cut to the chase here, how late were you?

dxhound2005

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119920936#Comment_119920936

The Good Samaritan probably observed 5 cars ahead of them turning into the junction without indicating. Holding up the person coming out unnecessarily.

sameoldname

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119921079#Comment_119921079

Yeah, that's definitely what it is. Because Irish drivers are well known for their observance.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119921106#Comment_119921106

Of course that would be less common, but why wouldn't I?

Esel

By the sound of it, the guy was right. Odds are you would have shut the door and driven off if he had got on first.

FintanMcluskey

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119920936#Comment_119920936

Are you a lady?

I drive about 80,000km a year across Ireland.

Oddly enough, I've observed, in recent years, that most female drivers will never let you merge into traffic from a junction. Even if the traffic is slow moving, they will move into a yellow box to prevent you merging.

I find the most courteous drivers are usually male.

sameoldname

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119921274#Comment_119921274

Nope, male. Never noticed any difference between the sexes to be honest. There is an age difference though. Are you elderly?

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119921221#Comment_119921221

Seriously? You know how long it takes to process an average customer? And the driver sees everything in his mirrors, so odds are I'd have seen her.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119921274#Comment_119921274

I'm not a woman. What woman out their likes, or has even heard of 'Electric Gypsy'?

I have noticed that there are a few women on the road who are courteous, but I've no doubt that what you're saying is true... even if it's completely beside the point of the thread. I do have a bit of fun with the yellow box junctions at the end of the bus lanes when merging with other!!

gormdubhgorm

I can sort of understand the OP sometimes people try to courteous on the roads at the 'wrong' times. But I can remember my driving lessons, the instructor gave out to me for such things as leaving too big of gap in traffic - where people would then see it as encouragement to 'cut in'.

But the driving 'sin' I remember relating to this was when I gestured to someone to go on and changed my mind. As long as the driver does not change their mind on allowing a person to go first, it is not as much of a problem.

In the OP's situation it is being nice at the 'wrong times'. And the male driver probably thought he was being chivalrous and I doubt would have done the same for another male. it did sound like 'wrong place, wrong time'.

It does mess things up with the flow of traffic if all these gestures are done at the wrong times. It does take cop on.

In other situations if I saw someone struggling to find a gap in traffic I would let them out ahead if I could, for instance. If I saw there was sufficient gap behind me I wouldn't let the person in front of me.

But waiting for someone to 'catch up' as they gesture seems a wrong move IMO. Plus I assume the thought was as a Bus Driver they are all equally chivalrously minded and in no hurry as well?

CPTM

I quite like when people do this. It's kind of nice, or when they hold the Luas door for people. I think 20 people waiting 10 seconds more is better than 1 person waiting 15 minutes more potentially in the rain. Random act of kindness in my opinion. Obviously many people doing it in a row would be annoying but that's not what happened here.

Swap go with come and this is a whole other thread.

SCOOP 64

id say he done to make sure the bus didn't leave without her.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119921585#Comment_119921585

No no no... these were people on foot! This has got nothing to do with traffic. Edited post.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119921653#Comment_119921653

He didn't do it to hold the bus. He would've done the same outside a door of a restaurant for example. The bus door didn't need someone to hold it. There was no rain. It took me 7-8 seconds with each passenger entering. Where as it would've taken her about 2-3 seconds to move the distance to enter first.

If the bus did need to be held then he should've jus got in and said there's someone else coming.

gormdubhgorm

Ah Jayus that puts a different colour on it. You were in the right - unless it was a little auld wan struggling with a load of shopping, a disabled person or whatever . The only other exception I would give is a dog wandering across the road or the likes.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058273351/letting-the-other-person-go-first

I kinda get what you're saying, except for the bit where you say "it's just plain rude". It isn't. The guy is probably overdoing the good manners thing, but "plain rude" is different behaviour altogether.

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119921927#Comment_119921927

What's the problem? Are you not paid the same anyway, regardless of what yer man did?

Esse85

I don't think it's plain rude.

I'd say some people just have little regard of time and can be in no rush to go anywhere, oblivious to the fact that others might be running late or anxious to get going. It's just a different mentality, not everyone is in a rush.

Andrea B.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058273351/letting-the-other-person-go-first

He might have moved his chances of a ride that day from 0.00000% to 0.00001%.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119924044#Comment_119924044

He might bump into again though!

Larbre34

Of course its not plain rude. Just a bit of old fashioned courtesy.

If people took the time to be a bit courteous and gracious now and then, there wouldn't be half the sadness and anxiety in the World.

dartboardio

Sure I love when men let me go first just because I'm a woman but more so I LOVE making a point of letting a man go first, pointing for him to walk through as though he is the woman.

It makes me feel powerful.

Oh and btw yes I love a gentleman who allows women to go first just because of their gender, we need more of that good old fashioned chivalry. My bf of 6 years still randomly opens car doors of taxis/Ubers for me etc, long may it continue ;)

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926706#Comment_119926706

That's why I said that I wasn't talking about the general idea of letting someone go first. I'm talking about specifically when they're holding up the show.