Out of the blue full time father

Steviesol

Hi,

A friend of mine has two young children with his ex partner( pre school). They stay with him every weekend. Two months ago he got them for the weekend and the mother dissapeared as such, no contact.

He has heard through her family she is not well and seeking help for her issues. She gets the childrens allowance and the money for the children on her weekly payment.

My friend has had to give up his job as he is now a full time father. He gets illness benfit as he has a slight injury and only gets 208 a week. He is not entitled to get extra money for the children as she already gets it, the department have put this in a letter to him. Asking her to fill out forms is not an option, she is uncontactable and in the throws of it.

How can he get extra each week for the children and get the children's allowance without her filling out forms. He doesnt want to go to Court or anything.

Thanks for any help.

hawthorne

Your friend should visit the CWO at once!

TooTired123

Your friend needs to fill out a child benefit application form in respect of his 2 kids and include a letter from himself explaining the situation. CB section will sort it out from there. No need for him to contact the mother of the children. In fact he should stay away from her in case there’s any suggestion of harassment.

Once he’s sent off that form then go straight to the CWO.

Lord what a mess! Firstly sorry to hear about all this trouble for your friend & of course the poor kids. Good to hear that at least they’re with their dad & mams getting help.

first thing I’d suggest to do is visit your community welfare officer (you’ll probably need an appointment) and speak with your local office also if they have any advice.

As suggested send an application in with a letter detailing the situation & really stress that she’s gone AWOL and no one has contact at the moment. Unfortunately like it or not you may have to seek something in court that grants you either temporary or permanent custody of the kids, until mams back & is assessed as suitable to mind them again.

What may be useful as well is if the schools/GP or someone is familiar with the situation & could also write a letter to back you up it might help in the absence of getting your ex to fill in forms or whatever to confirm that you are in custody at the moment anyway.

But definitely get in touch with CWO, if you can grab an exceptional needs form or supplementary welfare allowance form and send that into your local one it’s your best bet. The more details you can include as to why you’re applying the better, they can facilitate a second payment to you weekly and also a lump sum if necessary for anything you may need to buy for the kids that you didn’t need before.

Look none of that’s any guarantee but in my experience they have always been fantastic and very helpful but whether you see them in person or not send the application in first because they will need one regardless and it can be helpful if it’s already in their hands before you meet so things are at least moving along.

Best of luck anyway, it’s awful you’ve been landed like this but you’ll get sorted I’m sure.

Steviesol

Thanks for all the replies, my friend visited the community welfare officer twice this week, with kids in tow and explained the above.

Both times the CWO, said there is nothing they can do if the mother is receiving payment for the children, the mother needs to sign the form etc. What a joke.

Anyway, will suggest he writes to childrens benefit with a letter. My heart goes out to him. Not an easy task this time of year. Any other suggestions welcome.

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120001790#Comment_120001790

He needs to fill out the Child Benefit form as I advised before, and post it as soon as possible and accompany it with a letter of explanation. Until he does that there won’t be any further assistance.

There isn’t anything else that can be done until CB have scanned in his application.

It wasnt me123

If your friend is getting no hop from CWO, straight to local councillors / TDs, before Christmas and get them to intervene on his behalf - speaking to a pen pusher at the Information counter is not going to make things move in a hurry. Also get him to visit St Vincent de Paul, they don’t judge just give if there is a need and he can get food vouchers, heating oil etc and a food hamper for Christmas. Tough spot for all, especially at Christmas.

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120002327#Comment_120002327

The TD or the Councillor will be told that the applicant has to complete a CB application form and send it away and once it’s been scanned in in Donegal then the CWO will be able to see that and can act.

Thats the advice I’ve already given twice on this thread. But by all manner and means send the OP off to their local TD so that they can get the same advice in a letter in around 5 weeks time.

TDs cannot circumvent the basic laws surrounding rights and entitlements. They pretend they can (some of them) so that people will vote for them.

Do you honestly think the “pen pusher” gets a letter from a TD and says “oh I’d better break the rules and regulations here and treat this person unfairly and discriminatorily or this TD will have me sacked”? Or how is it that you imagine this works?

It wasnt me123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120003258#Comment_120003258

jeepers that was a very aggressive answer to my post. I was suggesting a possible solution for someone in crisis. I’m not sure where you are in the country or where the OP’s friend is but in rural ireland a quiet work can sometimes help. I’m not saying money will be thrown at them but they may be able to offer some support - you didn’t mention my comment about Vincent de Paul? No gripes about that? Calm down and don’t be so pompous

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120004846#Comment_120004846

I’m not being pompous. I’m nearly 20 years working in this field and yes, I’m down the country.

In all that time I have never once come across the involvement of a TD/Councillor resulting in a change of heart. The medical card/sw payment/place on the housing list decision remains the same until the correct paperwork and accompanying evidence is forthcoming.

You are encouraging the OP to go down that road instead of simply following the correct procedure and you’ll have to forgive me if I find that frustrating.

It wasnt me123

I was suggesting another option for a desperate situation as he’s tried the correct procedure. That’s all and I offered a charity solution as well. Just offering options that’s all

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120006311#Comment_120006311

He hasn’t tried applying for child benefit, which is the correct procedure.

contrary_devil

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120006311#Comment_120006311

Your charity suggestion was good but as @TooTired123 said politicians can only get you what you are entitled to, though they might find out about something you could be entitled to that you might not have been aware of or might be able to influence the speed of the processing of matters some little bit but you won't get anything over and above what you should. In fact I would suggest that some politicians might even hamper matters in that if they have gotten on the wick of the civil/public servants in previous times.

mmrs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120002327#Comment_120002327

This is good advice, do involve a local politician. They can't get you anything you're not entitled to, but when they get involved things can move more quickly. If you have a Minister in your area include them too. Also, as mentioned above they might refer you to information you weren't aware of.

It will do no harm.

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120006324#Comment_120006324

This is my experience. Senior SW deciding officers with years of experience don’t take kindly to admonishments from TDs or other public reps.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120006371#Comment_120006371

That’s because people generally don’t like when they’re being told how to do a job & one they’ve being doing for years.

Especially when they’re being asked to unfairly prioritise an applicant despite having no insight whatsoever (or even apparently giving a sh1te) to the fact many others will be desperate also & chances are worse situations.

I’d perish the thought of being told how to do my job by a politician.

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120009083#Comment_120009083

Yes. That’s what a public representative is doing when he/she writes to a department asking for rules to be bent and queues to be skipped in order for their constituent to get what they WANT, rather then what they are entitled to. They’re asking for other citizens to be shoved to one side or bumped down the ladder. They’re demanding an unfair advantage.