online dating

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120056929#Comment_120056929

Tah

billyhead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120055873#Comment_120055873

I'm not quite sure of this. I would consider myself and I'm not boasting in that top 10-20 percent bracket i.e over 6ft height, fit and very handsome and I've been on these dating apps (not tinder though). I get the odd attractive fit girl messaging me however it doesn't happen often. I'm beginning to think some women and the same goes I presume for men are intimidated by good lucks and are reluctant to message someone of the opposite sex who is good looking. Perhaps I just need to upload better photo's 😁

For guys mentioning the height thing, if it’s only an inch or so then I wouldn’t write off girls a bit taller as a no-go. In my experience it’s shorter women who have the whole “only 6ft and over” thing going, ironically. Taller women are used to guys being around the same height so it’s less of a thing, and a guy being taller is more of a novelty than a necessity. I’m 5ft10 and a few guys I dated were 5’9/my height. Wasn’t an issue.

(would draw the line at 2+ inches shorter myself though.)

wotzgoingon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057035#Comment_120057035

No, you're just not as good looking as you think.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057069#Comment_120057069

Do you filter by height though on the apps/sites?

What is the average height for an Irish fella? Is it not around 5'9"?

Edit: Google seems to suggest it is now 5'10" . Wikipedia says 5' 9.5" in 2007

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average_human_height_by_country

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057035#Comment_120057035

This might be a thing. I went on a date a while back that I almost didn’t go on because I thought he was just “too hot”. That’s not me being insecure or anything, he was just objectively out of my league looks wise and I wasn’t in the mood for rejection. 😂

Went on the date regardless, after almost cancelling last minute, and it went really well. Well, aside from me going “holy mother of god he’s real” in my head when I saw him walk in. Once we got chatting, I was grand & that feeling went away.

I think being as “familiar” as you can in your profile info will help a lot, as it’ll just make you feel more approachable.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057110#Comment_120057110

Yeah I have mine set at 5’9’ (also bearing in mind most guys I’ve met have added a bit on to their actual height in real life.)

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057144#Comment_120057144

Well it would be fair to say then that probably near enough half of all fellas won't pass your initial filter on those sites. There is nothing wrong with that, that is a perfectly legitimate preference. But I think that is what they refer to when they mention it.

It makes life more difficult for the girls too. There are probably plenty of them filtering 6'+ which means they are all competing for the same relatively small percentage of fellas. So it is inevitable that most of them will be disappointed in the long run even if they get what they want in the short run

As regards pure looks, to have a manly or pleasant countenance is the initial hook for me, they don’t have to be devastatingly good looking, in fact I’m always “suspicious” of the ones who happen to be because they will be highly sought after. If an ordinary average looker has a compatible profile/bio, that is deal-breaking. I don’t get to see female profiles so can’t make any comments, but if a guy with less in the department of good looks has interesting pictures doing his favourite activities, that makes me take another look at the bio and can potentially be a deal-breaker too.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057144#Comment_120057144

Why do they bother? You may meet them, so it'll be sussed.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057179#Comment_120057179

Ah ok. I was really just referring to what the other poster said about not messaging women who are taller at all.

I guess to get past the filters. Or they’re just guesstimating it.

It doesn’t really bother me as I just compute it in my head now, if I see “5’10 I assume 5”9 etc. My ex thought he was 6ft too until we met. He’s 5”11.

Edit double post

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057262#Comment_120057262

Yeah. That’s silly IMO

A phenomenon that happens with dating sites:

Like playing with a deck of cards l, a person can spend an evening swiping right and left.

A bundle of ego-boosting matches pops up, some of them followed up on some sites with flattering messages. Some messages simply say “Hi”. When a message is sent as an ice-breaker to non-initiators, sometimes these get ignored, many other times these individuals are genuinely very shy by nature, so one sometimes wants to give them a chance.

There can be an anxiety about matches dwindling to nothing very much material, so one might end up with a whole array of matches on various sites to respond to. In such a circumstance it becomes very unwieldy playing all these de is of cards whilst whittling it down to the most serious contenders.

The psychology here is to discourage the less serious contenders by returning lukewarm messages like “I’ve been very busy, didn’t get back on the site sooner”. Others just don’t respond to most when the selection of cards has be one too big and some conversations have been taken to WhatsApp. When a meet-up takes place the rest of the contenders might be put in a holding pattern, in reserve.

The dating sites are delighted by human behaviour patterns. People get pissed off by let-downs or ghosting and the whole pattern starts again. Site revenue goes up as long as this cycle continues.

YellowLead

I didn’t even know you could filter by height, presume that’s POF or a paid version of hinge etc.

Height was something that would put my off (somebody being shorter or the same height) but then I met a few guys who were and realised that was silly (albeit if given the option taller is preferable). My other two biases were fat (when I say fat I mean not being slim, any kind of chub is off putting) and bald. I’m slowly getting over the chubby thing as long as somebody is not obese, so maybe I’ll get over the bald thing too (by bald really I mean very thin and comb overy on top but keeping the back and sides, just shave it all off lads)

wotzgoingon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057321#Comment_120057321

(by bald really I mean very thin and comb overy on top but keeping the back and sides, just shave it all off lads)

Hey, I thought my comb over looked good.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057310#Comment_120057310

Yep. I think there's a lot of messing in dating. Online or not.

It should be fun. Works, excellent. It doesn't, meh.

Game playing, buy an xbox(both sexes).

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120051489#Comment_120051489

At the same time if someone has a strong view diagonally opposed to your own strong view it is bound to cause arguments that would likely spoil the relationship. However if there are overriding compatibilities, it would be better to give it a chance.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057321#Comment_120057321

You can filter height on Facebook dating and OkCupid.

I do think a short lady saying 6ft and over is a bit ridiculous, but maybe it’s hypocritical given I know I wouldn’t be into someone more than an inch or so shorter than me. That said, I know this because I tried it. Like it actually really annoyed me one time years ago that I couldn’t get over it because I got chatting to a guy who would have been ideal otherwise, but when I met him the height difference just put me off (he was 5”7).

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057384#Comment_120057384

I said xbox!

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057401#Comment_120057401

Funny you mention height difference. I'm about a foot taller than my future short arse wife.

She has no height stops no go kinda thing, but she does like me being bigger.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057401#Comment_120057401

And yet if a fella expressed that his filter was that he wasn't interested in a girl unless she was slim with at least D cup boobs, he'd be called superficial 🙂

wotzgoingon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057430#Comment_120057430

Exactly, Forza, Halo, High on Life, Gears of War.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057463#Comment_120057463

Swipe right please.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057451#Comment_120057451

Well we assumed she obviously had no standards to be with you in the first place

*joke

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057459#Comment_120057459

Do women really say this on their profiles? I guess they’re not wasting anyone’s time at least. But I’m sure they are considered just as superficial as somebody wanting larger boobs. I guess everyone is entitled to specify whatever they like, doesn’t mean they will get it but that is their lessson to learn

(Agh, I keep clicking reply instead of quote😭) anyway - replying to this:

”And yet if a fella expressed that his filter was that he wasn't interested in a girl unless she was slim with at least D cup boobs, he'd be called superficial”

—-

I think it depends on how you say it, I wouldn’t have a problem with a guy being attracted to shorter women, for example.

Also, there’s a difference between preference and deal-breakers. I think that’s what messes things up a bit on dating apps as people who don’t meet someone’s preferences don’t have a chance to display other traits that make them attractive in real life. For example, a preference for me would be aged 30-48. But I met my last ex not knowing what age he was, and he was outside at bracket.

I do think the apps are good in general though, I’ve had a few relationships come out of them over the years.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057497#Comment_120057497

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057498#Comment_120057498

I didn't mean necessarily telling the girls themselves. I meant him saying that to a "non-target" person such as a friend. Girls don't have to specify a minimum height on their profiles as they can often filter on it from what I gather. So they won't see any potential matches outside of that filter.

What would either of you say if a male friend said "yeah, I met this lovely girl online. We got on great and connected really well with the same sense of humour and interests overall, and she seems to have her life in order with a great career etc, but when we finally met up I found out that her t1ts were only about a C cup at best so that was the end of that".

It would be a perfectly valid preference for him to have. The same as a girl can have a perfectly valid preference for 5'9"+ fellas

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057488#Comment_120057488

Haha...but true.