online dating

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674494#Comment_120674494

You're there so. You better be.

Plus...Hiccups suck balls.

Couple of weeks ago ..I said to myself...I need to try a redhead...so I initiated the conversation with something about his profile...and then he responds all high and mighty like 'i don't talk to women who have no profile pic' so I was like 'oh right grand...I don't share my pic until I have a good rapport with someone ' ...damn he could have worked on that tension...now not to sound big headed but id say I'm a 7 and he's a 5...give or take even for confidence (that I'm seriously lacking)...but he'd said something in his profile that I had in common and I made a very good comeback on that and he didn't even mention the thing we had in common and was still like 'ye but you know I have my standards' lol not in so many words and I just thought he's up on a seriously high horse there.

If someone said something interesting to me that I was interested in...I wouldn't care...not that I mean I'd be eager to date them cause obvs I don't know if I fancy them physically...but I'd just be happy for the interaction about something we both liked in that moment....so you know what it told me...he hasn't a clue of our so called common interest and just says it like his catchphrase to seem interesting. Anyway Ill still try a redhead in future...has to be done lol 😆

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674494#Comment_120674494

This I can foresee!

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674615#Comment_120674615

A picture on your profile is kinda important

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674717#Comment_120674717

Paramount

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674722#Comment_120674722

I got the music in my head now. Hate you.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674717#Comment_120674717

So is rapport.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674765#Comment_120674765

Yes, but no pictures? I wouldn't waste my time.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674787#Comment_120674787

Omg. All I said was he could have had some interaction of the thing we had in common...like he could have acknowledged it just for the pure interaction...had he of done that I'd have probably sent a pic but it showed me something about him...and it's not that he was shallow but I guess it was that he wasn't as interested in the thing we had in common as he made out.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674837#Comment_120674837

So.. no photos?

PoisonIvyBelle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674615#Comment_120674615

To be fair, I wouldn't respond to anyone without a profile pic, not sure if many would. He was giving you a chance to put one up before replying to him.

PoisonIvyBelle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674765#Comment_120674765

Yeah rapport is great but it's not going to make me jump someone's bones if I'm not attracted to them at all. Many things interconnect and each can influence how attractive a person is to you: looks, personality, rapport... And if one is missing, such as knowing what they actually look like - which is pretty important - the chance of attraction drastically decreases.

PoisonIvyBelle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674837#Comment_120674837

He probably was interested in it, but was looking for someone who shared that interest and was also attractive to him. You're making it hard work by not having a photo up, the person has to decide whether to take a chance on responding and potentially ending up in an awkward situation if they have to ask for a photo and aren't into you after chatting. It's also just a waste of time when there are lots of people who have photos up they can talk to instead.

Any chance you want to share why you don't have a pic up?

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674861#Comment_120674861

Me neither and I don’t think most would.

I did once just out of boredom to cure my own nosiness and then to tell him he was an eejit.

A male friend did once too (he’s a bit desperate) - they moved to WhatsApp and he saw her profile photo which he thought was quite okay but in person she was v different because it was an old photo on whattsap. She also turned out to be a bit mental and I was like ‘clue was in the not having any profile pics dude’

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674873#Comment_120674873

Exactly. Just the same as I wouldn’t go on a date without a chat and pics only, I wouldn’t do the reverse. Seems silly to purposefully put off most other daters but maybe Blaire / heather you have an easy time of it in real life and don’t need or really want online?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674881#Comment_120674881

Sometimes I just feel like it's advertising myself...that's the only way I can explain it...

And also sometimes when I do have an ongoing rapport with someone and I've already shared a photo and they keep asking me for more pictures...like half the time they're not asking for nudes or anything but it's like a switch goes off in my head and it annoys the **** out of me...it's like you already know how I look if you want to meet up, great..I'm not sitting here like a dope taking photos of myself...I know it can/could be very playful but also I don't want people I hardly know having those images of me. Full stop.

YellowLead

Jaysus Blaire you have changed your username a million times of late. Seems like it’s not only on the dating apps that you like to hide..

Keeping an eye on me yellow are ya 😛

PoisonIvyBelle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674919#Comment_120674919

They ask for pictures because they want to know what you look like. If you're only sharing one once you get chatting then I can understand someone asking for more. The usual thing to do would be to add a few different photos of yourself including a full length and close up one. As for the "advertising" yourself thing, I mean it is in a way, but that's online dating. I think if that aspect of it makes you feel bad then it's likely not the best option for you, you know?

YellowLead

You’re probably only going to attract weirdos or desperados if you don’t share pics, in the main at least.

Have you successfully dated with this no pic approach?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674956#Comment_120674956

Yes. And they still want the online interaction also. They still msg you several times a day even if you're meeting up??. Still asking for photos of you. That's where I think yellowlead is getting me wrong. ....where I've given a full length pic already etc 🙄 in the case with the ginger bloke I just didn't give a Fack but he wouldn't be for me anyway... And anyway wasn't looking for advice as such by sharing cause I know myself maybe someone who has been in the boat or just saying my experience. I suppose it's about a connection for me first and maybe I was being as stubborn as gingerbloke in the opposite way by not giving him my photo but I'm fairly confident me and gingerbloke were not meant to be 😁😁😁

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674990#Comment_120674990

Sorry I’m lost 😅 But glad you are happy with your approach and don’t need advice :)

Pwindedd

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120674837#Comment_120674837

I'm not saying you HAVE to put up a photo. Each to their own like. What I am saying is you can't get the hump when people don't want to interact with someone who isn't playing by the unwritten rules

Which are that everyone puts themselves out there for "approval" and you try and pair up with someone you also approve of visually.

.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120675007#Comment_120675007

Ooooh I didn't get the hump about it. I just realized they weren't for me. And I understood gingerblokes reasoning but what I didn't understand was his lack of enthusiasm for the films I mentioned that he should have known or been at least somewhat interested in like wtf....like if I met someone on the street and they said they liked that genre...I'd have been delighted to chat 😁😁😁

I enjoy the lovely compliments, especially coming from someone very sober with both feet firmly on the ground. I remain friends with several very decent people I met online, share a joke and a laugh, mutual respect. But there is someone quite solid in persona atm. It comes at at a time when my body has been letting me down very badly and as a consequence things in general have gone pear shaped. I feel very empowered by encountering an accepting person who is deeper than the shallow you can encounter online.

I enjoy the lovely compliments, especially coming from someone very sober with both feet firmly on the ground. I remain friends with several very decent people I met online, share a joke and a laugh, mutual respect. But there is someone quite solid in persona atm. It comes at at a time when my body has been letting me down very badly and as a consequence things in general have gone pear shaped. I feel very empowered by encountering an accepting person who is deeper than the shallow you can encounter online.

PoisonIvyBelle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120675069#Comment_120675069

I'd garner his reasoning is that he's not there to make friends.

Meetup.com would be a good option for you in terms of meeting people with specific interests.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120675069#Comment_120675069

What films did you mention?

I also feel disappointed when people put down my favourites.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120675102#Comment_120675102

Shhh! Watching aliens.

Cheers poisonivybelle..thanks for that. ☺️

Imo most blokes don't like when you get real. My personal circumstance is one that a lot blokes can thrive off in fantasy but not in reality. They mostly don't give a **** what I have to say about anything. I'm very how should I say...I look at all points of views and discuss with people where it might seem like I'm saying a lot but I say nought 😛 but I'm weighing up/processing my own thoughts ☺️

I remember being a teen and I was so outspoken about everything 🥺 I miss her...but it gets beaten out of you after a while. Funny enough a lot of my teenage views are very popular now with people who were adamant against me lol....ranting on here lol and why not?

Anyway why shouldnt online dating be for me as others have suggested on here????? I mean...here this is a discussion site...not an online dating site and my thoughts on it are not shared there.. unlike the anti vaxers who are very vocal in their online dating profiles 😁😁😁