online dating

Ljmscooter

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121005984#Comment_121005984

No they are not apology flowers , 😂

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121005999#Comment_121005999

Then I would not worry about them not being well received :)

Jequ0n

unless she is allergic and collapses on the spot upon receiving them

Ljmscooter

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006209#Comment_121006209

😲

Well fingers crossed then ! -

Pwindedd

I like getting flowers - never turned a bunch down. Although I have a habit of not throwing them away until the last petal falls off the stem, out of sentimentality.

The last flowers I got were 'live ones' in a planter and they sit on my doorstep - lovely gesture and no nasty binning ceremony to perform. Until I kill them through neglect of course.

Do men like getting flowers? I've only bought flowers for a fella once, he seemed a bit confused about why. But he enjoyed seeing them in the vase in his house and seemed to come around to the idea.

Ljmscooter

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006310#Comment_121006310

I'd prefer a plant rather than flowers, but im a mad gardener, so it would add to the collection :-)

I just wasn't sure if it was a bit Ould fashioned sending flowers now, been a long time since I had bought flowers / sent flowers to anyone,

Roses , but not Red, don't want to scare her ! , I just hadn't seen her in 8 hours, 😍

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006310#Comment_121006310

I don’t see the point so I wouldn’t know what to do with them

YellowLead

I got a plant from the conspiracy theorist I dated for 3 weeks. I actually don’t like it at all and offered to give it back to him but he wouldn’t accept (it was his favourite plant and he has others at home and loves looking after them). I tend to be bad at minding plants - I have one I bought for myself a few years ago that’s still going strong but it’s clearly an easy one. Anyway, I need to find somebody to offload this orchid plant to because I don’t like the colour and they’re a pain in the hole to look after - but I’d feel guilty binning a live plant.

Mister Vain

I can't say I ever got flowers from a woman. I got a boiled pigs knuckle with sour cabbage once. It's a delicacy in Poland.

Pwindedd

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006386#Comment_121006386

Do you like receiving gifts or thoughtful gestures in general ?

Ljmscooter

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006405#Comment_121006405

ill take the orchid, I have 3 on my window sill, they look after themselves with full sun !

Pwindedd

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006405#Comment_121006405

Just leave it outside your home with a note on saying "feel free to take this" - I got rid of a fish tank, and other assorted household junk that way before. There are Wombles Everywhere.

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006675#Comment_121006675

If you actually do want it then for sure 😅My mother has refused it because she kills them every time (probably because her house is a morgue inside). Mine does look in good shape tbf - I’ve left it one the window still and water it once a week. But I just don’t like the colour, plus I don’t want to be reminded of that guy every single day!

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006672#Comment_121006672

Yes but it’s probably do difficult to get me something I like because most people don’t really know me. I know that people like flowers but I don’t see the point in putting something into your house just to watch it die. Unless you can inherit something as a consequence

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006810#Comment_121006810

I actually would love to go but just for the fun, wouldn’t think I’d meet anyone. I had a friend who used to go (in her 50s) and she said it used to be brilliant fun (like you’d actually see men with their trousers held up by twine telling you you were a fine heifer of a woman) but not as much in recent times.

Was it there too last year that that poor woman killed herself after some absolute dirtbag filmed her having sex on the street and put it online (he should be jailed for life) - hearing about that puts out me off. I’d say the level of drinking is something else.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006847#Comment_121006847

I remember reading about it. It’s pretty stupid to be **** in the street if you are a sensitive soul though.

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006864#Comment_121006864

I don’t think the awfulness of the person filming and putting that online is negated by the woman’s actions. She was blind drunk which is not an excuse but I’m sure there are others who have made similar mistakes. Given that she is dead I don’t want to point out stupidity, the fact remains that anybody who posts sexual images of another person online is the lowest of the low - that’s pure calculated selfishness and he should be locked up. Normally I don’t feel sorry if people are stupid - but in this case I have huge empathy for her and can find zero empathy or understanding for the person who put the footage online.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006900#Comment_121006900

Most people probably don’t anticipate the fallout because they are just thinking about clicks and hoping to to viral

Mister Vain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006753#Comment_121006753

The cabbage is lovely. I tried something similar in Prague this year and it was delicious. They were spit roasting pigs on the street and they serve it with potatoes and cabbage.

I was with her for a couple of months but it didn't work out. I think she got divorced recently and has a few kids.

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006910#Comment_121006910

Well duh but that’s the selfishness - it’s not like it’s a big secret that that kind of thing can destroy somebody’s life, a person can’t plead ignorance on this score, there’s a lot of discussion out there even if you don’t have the mental capacity to work that out for yourself - if you don’t get such things you shouldn’t be allowed have a smart phone (not you obviously, you as in general)

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006933#Comment_121006933

Is sour cabbage the same thing as sauerkraut?

Mister Vain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006965#Comment_121006965

I think so yeah.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006962#Comment_121006962

I have no feelings on the matter either way. But I appreciate the clarifying last sentence

Bobby_Bolivia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120993089#Comment_120993089

...

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007629#Comment_121007629

I don’t think seeing each other next weekend is too soon - that’s a whole week in between. If it was me I’d like to be seeing them during the week as well, after 5 dates once a week wouldn’t be enough. But we are all different and clearly that works for you - I deffo wouldn’t think it’s too much I mean what had you in mind, only seeing her once every second week?

As for the sex, it’s obviously going to be a bit more difficult to navigate given you both live at home, so it sort of removes that it just happening naturally but. A weekend away is nice but can be a lot so soon, I’d wait a few more dates then bring it up.

In terms of the relationship I don’t think you need to plan that. I assume you’ve had the chat about exclusivity or maybe that’s coming soon - as in you’re both only seeing each other? I don’t think there’s a need to rush into ‘will you be my girlfriend’ but your idea of about 2 months seems reasonable, if it feels right at the time.

Very glad it’s worked out for the two of you so far 😊😊😊 It’s very nice to hear good stories.

Ljmscooter

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007629#Comment_121007629

1. SEX - I think booking a hotel for the first time might be less agreeable than you think, imagine the case where ye a re totaly incompatible, it happens, there is no exit, or a very awks one. Bring her home ! - sure you don't have to be jumping from the wardrobe, there are ways of being silent ;-) and it's as much fun.
2. Relationship , zero expert here but I was just outright " im not interested in ONS, or Hookups, or being FWB, I want a relationship, a mutual monogamous relationship, are ye in ?"

edit, its not too soon, get your expectations on the table asap, IMHO, so you know where you both stand.

Bobby_Bolivia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007679#Comment_121007679

...

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007855#Comment_121007855

Deffo doesn’t seem like too much time together at all :) And that sounds normal with the balance of it all.

I don’t think exclusivity and in a relationship are the same thing. I don’t class it as a relationship when you’ve only been dating somebody for a few weeks, and I’d be having a chuckle to myself if somebody told me they were in a relationship with somebody they basically just met, you’re dating and that’s what it is early on. How and ever the most important thing is the exclusivity bit, it’s nice for you both to say it even if you feel it’s obvious and I think it’s a nice time to do that now after 5 dates.

Pwindedd

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006845#Comment_121006845

Tis a valid point. Giving someone a gift that is dying from the minute it's given, is a strange thing to do when you think about it logically.

I work in the events field and my office is often adorned with a half dead bunch of flowers that I've liberated from being thrown away, just because they're no longer in their prime. Apparently it's "where Roses go to die" - I'm sure there's an analogy in there somewhere to my own passing of the years.

Small unexpected gestures are the best. Someone buys me a Twix or some Maltesers and it makes me really happy. They know me. They LISTEN.

I'm sure you have a favourite chocolate bar yourself, wouldn't be a secret like ?

Pwindedd

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007629#Comment_121007629

Well that's a nice bit of news. Glad it was just you and not her (no offense) 😁

Can't really advise you on the sex thing - too many variables. But if you're happy to wait a bit, and see if she mentions anything, then that sounds like the safest bet. But don't leave it too long and deffo drop some subtle hints that's what you'd like to see how she responds.

Personally I think the sex thing comes before the exclusivity conversation. Others may disagree.

Follow your instincts (but don't let the brain hijack common sense )