online dating

ruth...less

Tbf I wouldnt expect much if any contact after two dates if someone was going on holiday...so first ghost wasn't really a ghost. And then she asked you out twice? Sounds more like she got woke when she cancelled.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121574#Comment_121121574

I am a bit short fused but I like it.

I didn't ask what you were looking for. I said I like to go on for the chats.

ruth...less

Imo it's probably one of the biggest problems with online dating. It's the expectation....how about just actually chat and enjoy the interaction for what it is..that's what actually happens in the real world then if you're lucky you click with someone and it goes from there.

Bobby_Bolivia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121579#Comment_121121579

I had sent her a nice message (that she asked me to send!) and she didn't respond for a week. I wasn't expecting hourly checkins when she was away, I'm a big boy, but nobody is so busy that they can't pick up their phone to say "had a lovely time, catch up with you when I'm home". Would have taken 30 seconds and then there would have been 0 expectation from me regarding further communication while she was away. It's crap behaviour.

But, if she was really interested in me, she would have wanted to chat to me when she was away anyway. Which she obviously wasn't. Just keeping it trickling along just incase.

Anyway that's all in the past. The point is to the other poster that you'll have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, and that if you can't reconcile yourself with that then you won't do well on OD at all.

gary550

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121118762#Comment_121118762

Genuine question - what do you mean when you say wealth and status is wanted by men?

You honestly must be meeting some dogg men cause I don't know many men who gives 2 sh*t's about a woman's wealth or social status.

I'd be 1000% more wealth & money orientated personally than the majority of men but I don't want a woman who is the same. In fact if I was given the choice between a wealthy professional type women or a soft spoken, kind natured very average women I'd pick the latter all day, every day and twice on a Sunday!!!!

I'd actually say the thing that bothers me most about modern women is that they seem all consumed by what men have rather than the opposite!

Maybe we've transcended that gendered stereotype and now the men are the ones who want money?? 🤣🤣

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121624#Comment_121121624

When a woman pulls away she's either not interested or you're not giving her something she needs to feel secure with you.

Bobby_Bolivia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121580#Comment_121121580

Yeah I am, things are going very well actually.

We have some plans for the next two months of different things and trips etc so all positive.

That holiday is ongoing at the moment and I've kind of let her dictate the terms of communication while she's on it but she's constantly on to me. That was the only real issue I uncovered (aside from a worry about her beliefs which turned out unfounded), and I genuinely don't think she could have done much more to ease any concern I would have had about it. To the point I don't have any now.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121625#Comment_121121625

Oh I hate that...when someone is trying to set you up and they're like you'd like him...he's a pilot or a doctor or whatever. I don't care. Another one with od ive seen is they put up that they own a house. Good for you. Did you really need to mention it? Whenever I see that the first thing I think is ...oh great they're ready for me to move straight in and cook and clean for them. Yay. :/

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121758#Comment_121121758

#notallmen.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121625#Comment_121121625

I literally spent two years going out with someone delusional who was fascinated by people who had wealth/social status and had no respect for anyone, including me. He was so romantic he reminded me how everyone is replaceable- like a passive aggressive warning. I was a lucky gal.

I’ve been on dates with people who are bragging about who they worked with and who they know and who owns what as well as bragging about being at the K club for example or jetting off here and there for weeks on end. I’m a frontline worker. I don’t appreciate sitting and listening to BS like this on dates. And no, that’s not resentment. They just come across as assh*les. Good for you if you’re living the high life or had an opportunity to be well travelled. These are the same lads who will spend the majority of dates talking about themselves and switch off when it comes to my turn (eventually). I don’t know why they insist on dates with someone like me when they’d be better off sitting across from a mirror and chatting shite to themselves since they love the sound of their own voice. I think they do this to impress women on dates but it does nothing for me. I appreciate character more.

As said above, I don’t make the cut as I’m not from money/I’m a nobody and not very well travelled (city breaks and *odd holidays don’t cut it anymore apparently.)

Sorry for negativity but this is what I’ve dated in recent months. I also had lads who tell me all their personal business, ins and outs of their life and thoughts during the early phases in texts and dates only to ghost me 5 dates in as if there’s something wrong with me 🤷‍♀️ that is after they’ve offloaded their babble on me and wrecked my head btw.

I have yet to meet someone normal.

sorry that was a bit negative. Now I realise why people journal lol

YellowLead

Well this singles walk was good, because you were paired up and then swapped every 7 minutes or so so everyone got to talk to pretty much everyone else. Two guys I might have a bit of an interest in.

I was also asked if I was from boards.ie 😀Initially I said no, because I had to compute in my head whether it would be a good thing to admit or not and then I decided it was grand so said yes. Not sure which user it is but small world.

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121625#Comment_121121625

I don’t think I ever met a man who had any interest in what I earned - I just didn’t think it was big deal for guys at all, and the same is always confirmed by surveys.

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121956#Comment_121121956

I write in a diary fairly frequently - for my eyes only :)

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121122273#Comment_121122273

If somebody ruled me out based on my posts I’d be delighted, rather than getting to know me and then ruling me out 😂

Jeez people are fierce paranoid. If somebody doesn’t like me they don’t like me, I’m not so desperate I need everybody to like me

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121122016#Comment_121122016

Please enjoy this sample page from my future journal ☺️

gary550

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121806#Comment_121121806

they come across as assh*les cause they are probably assh*les and you're observation is probably spot on

The thing is though that a lot of men talk like that cause a lot of women are receptive to it and are money orientated (very much in particular younger women), if men have had success talking big game with women in the past that's what they think all women are receptive to.

I really don't think there is anything wrong at all either with not being well travelled, I can't even fathom why that would be a consideration for desirability in a women 🤷🏻‍♂️

Maybe you're just on a bad run of dates?

YellowLead

@[Deleted User] have any of them ever actually said to you that it’s because you’re not wealthy or well traveled that they are not interested, or is that a conclusion you’ve come to?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121122517#Comment_121122517

Unfortunately I do find myself as the common denominator but I also just wonder, Is there any point anymore? People’s expectations are ridiculous these days.

Also; some people get the hump because they claim they’ve been catfished looks wise. I think catfishing a personality is ten times worse. I’ve been caught a few times.

@YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121122553#Comment_121122553

That’s the conclusion I’ve come to from reactions and interactions I’ve had with some men. @YellowLead have you ever seen someone’s face drop in disappointment when you start chatting on a date? Or when you say no I haven’t been here and there..I have literally seen the facial expression when a man decides I’m not worth pursuing a relationship with.

Im not a stupid person. I can see when someone looks disappointed after I answer their questions. Or fail to say what they want to hear. And I’m not saying I sit there and stay mute. Far from it. I chat away, I’m positive, ask them about themselves etc

So either I’m too boring or I’ve meet many pr*cks. I’ve said it before and I don’t mind saying it again, people on social media have set an unrealistic standard and they are connecting with these types online too so naturally, an ordinary person like me falls to the bench. I can’t compete with the 26 year old skinny mini who has travelled Asia and Oz?

/rant for a Sunday

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121122594#Comment_121122594

I’m sorry but everything I say here is how I would say it :) I wouldn’t say it otherwise!

And you think I’m some fool that thinks somebody can’t see my previous posts? Of course they could, but I really could not care less. I have nothing to hide.

I very much disagree - it’s not my loss. I don’t want to date somebody who doesn’t like what I have to say. I don’t think it’s their loss either - why is it anyone’s loss???

The Black Oil

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121984#Comment_121121984

Are you from the internet is how I was going to phrase it at first. Wouldn't have heard about these events without this thread.

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121122610#Comment_121122610

Well that is a good deed done so!

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121122597#Comment_121122597

I have never seen somebody’s face drop with disappointment when I start talking on a date and I haven’t been to Australia or ever lived abroad. Literally never been an issue.

Have you other things to talk about? Interests?

And when you say you can’t compete with a skinny mini - you’ve mentioned you are good looking and keep fit, so that shouldn’t be an issue. I don’t think men are as influenced by social media as some women are, that might be in your head.

Alpopar

Hi everyone, me and my wife are thinking of trying some threesome. We are vere open minded and ready to try something new. Any advices? Any experienced couples or singles?

Thanks

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121122707#Comment_121122707

Why don’t you just create a tinder profile for that? Or there are other sites that cater for the more sexually oriented side of things. @Jequ0n might be able to direct you.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121122707#Comment_121122707

Start with joyclub. It’s an excellent starting point and gives you practical help to discover what you really want, and you can also find matches there. Make sure you know what you want before searching for a third person.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121121675#Comment_121121675

Actually I'd rather the other half to have their shît together and be independent.

I can cook really well, thanks. No need for a maid.

I'd be extremely reluctant to move someone in to something I have worked so hard for. Especially with the cohabitation laws in place. Fück that.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121124108#Comment_121124108

And then people wonder why people kill their spouses instead of divorcing them

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121125179#Comment_121125179

The real trick is not marrying the wrong kind of person in the first place…