Trying to find family

Dfenn

(apologies if this is not the correct section I had no idea where to post this)

Hello everyone, I'm posting this here in the hope that I might be able to connect with my distant family, I really don't know where else to turn, I know this is a long shot but I thought it would be worth a try anyway.

My true family name is Fennell I was born in Northern England in the early 90s, my parents gave me up for adoption as a young boy.

The only information I could find about my fathers family was that his grandfather was related to the Fennells and the O'Deas of County Clare the two families married into eachother in the late 1880s this is the only information I could find.

I cannot ask my mother or father as they both had passed before I managed to locate them.

Those people may very well be my last living relatives, I realise that the chances of this working are slim but I hold out hope all the same.

Thankyou for you're time it is much appreciated and any help would be too.

Deregos.

Hi Dfenn, have you done a DNA test with the likes of Ancestry.com or MyHeritage?

Hoboo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058279574/trying-to-find-family

If I were you I’d contact the clare church diocese or equivalent who would have records and if anyone has connections with families and local knowledge especially in places like Clare it’s the church, call the local radio stations and local newspapers. Irish people love this kind of stuff and are very willing to help.

Best of luck to you mate, I really hope you have some success 👊

Spear

Moved to a forum that's related to the topic instead.

dinorebel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120106141#Comment_120106141

Cannot stress enough how much you should do this. I found my birth family through Ancestry.com and for good or bad it was a great decision.

Dfenn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120106153#Comment_120106153

Thanks alot mate for pointing me in the right direction I really really appreciate it, it means so much to me.

I'll definitely contact the diocese hopefully they have the records I need or at least a lead to follow and I'll contact the local newspapers aswell.

I think I definitely need to make a trip to Clare and ask some of the locals about the families see if anyone knows anything, even if I don't find what I'm looking for, I can say I tried at least, and anyway Clare seems like a beautiful place and the people friendly enough the trip wouldn't be wasted even if nothing comes of it.

Well looks like this is where the mission really begins I had better book the ferry, never thought I'd have have to cross the water to be closer to home.

Ireland bound then. ⛵⚓

Dfenn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120106141#Comment_120106141

No I haven't yet but It is an option i never considered I will look these up thanks for linking em, any idea which is the more reliable of the 2 if any?

Hermy

Hi Dfenn,

Welcome to Boards.

Please note that for privacy reasons we cannot discuss living individuals.

A DNA test is definitely something to consider. I'd recommend Ancestry as they have the biggest database and when you get your results you can upload them to other sites such as My Heritage, Family Tree DNA and Gedmatch for free.

Personally I wouldn't go contacting radio stations or local churches just yet as there's plenty you can do before that.

Can I ask how you know about connection to the Fennell's and the O'Dea's of County Clare?

And have you tried searching the civil records for a marriage - they're free at irishgenealogy.ie .

pinkypinky

Dfenn,

Have you obtained your original adoption papers in the UK? If not, you should do this.

I take it you know your birth parents' names? If you have their names and dates of birth, then you can use the civil records to search their ancestry back to these families in Clare.

I also would not contact the diocese (which would be Killaloe) as they won't be especially helpful and media will cloud the water unnecessarily. (Not sure what forum you originally posted in but glad someone moved it!)

Our sticky on tracing Irish ancestry would be worth reading, but we're very happy to help you along the way!

I fully agree with the other posters about doing a DNA test.

Hoboo

I don’t know much about DNA tests, can someone tell me if a relative hasn’t also given their DNA to the database how do they find a match? Thanks 🙏

Hoboo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120106568#Comment_120106568

The reason I suggested the church was due to the timeline, and they are the one organisation that generally have records. It’s how my one of my uncles reunited with us but that was in the 90’s through my grandparents church in navan. Things have changed and I never thought of what you suggested, I agree a much better way to do it.

55Gem

They can't match people who haven't taken a test.

So many people have taken tests now that the chances of not having matches is slim to none, the question for you is how close the matches will be. There will be lots of distant ones but you will be hoping for close, 1st or 2nd cousins would be great. The test will tell you how many cM you share with each match, the higher the cM the closer the match. If the match has a tree you will be able to see who they descend from, by comparing a few matches you will hopefully be able to work out which family you descend from.

You will also be able to send messages to your matches (not everyone relies) but don't be in a hurry to do this, discovering you exist may not go down well with everyone as I'm sure your aware. Take you time.

Use the websites linked to in previous posts to get to know the families involved, build up as complete a picture as possible.

Lots of people have found their birth families using DNA, I discovered who my brother in law's mother was as two of his half siblings had tested but not who his father was and matches on that side are very low cM so success varies.

Good luck.

Hermy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120109001#Comment_120109001

All matches are relatives.

If no relatives have tested then you will have no matches.

Hermy

Thanks 55 - that’s a much better explanation than mine.

Dfenn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120106568#Comment_120106568

Hey hermy thanks for the welcome.

Of course I understand that not everyone wants to be contacted by distant family, and I also understand that for obvious privacy reasons we can't discuss living individual people for this reason I have left my own first name and other details out. And I would not expect them to divulge information either.

However like I said even if nothing comes of it I would like to visit clare either way.

I'm just looking to make a connection, a wolf should not howl alone, I've had no family for as long as I can remember and even if they don't want to know me it would just be nice to know I still have living relatives somewhere in the world.

I will, as you and others have suggested, use the genealogy websites first before I visit But as others have stated unless those people have taken a test they're will be no matches, I will still try.

And it's taken me a good while to get this far I know about the connection because I managed to obtain my great grandfather's birth certificate (his last name was O'Dea and he was born in Clare) from my fathers belongings, I got them from his close friend, He gave them to me when my search for my parents led to him. He also told me a few things, but as you can imagine his knowledge of my family was limited.

It also seems that at some stage my great grandfather changed his birth name from O'Dea to Fennell and this is the bit that puzzles me. I can't figure out why.

It has been a very long journey and doing it alone not knowing who you are is the worst feeling. You have my thanks for you're input. ☺️

Dfenn

(please also note the birth certificate papers I have are very old and damaged only some details are visible which is why I have continued searching using other methods)

Dfenn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120109159#Comment_120109159

Many thanks 55 I appreciate the help.

Hermy

Dfenn,

Don't misunderstand me - I'm not discouraging you from searching - just highlighting part of the T's and C's of Boards that's specific to this forum.

As an adoptee myself I fervently believe that every adoptee has the right to know about their past and I'm only too keen to help others that might be starting their search.

If you search the records at Irish Genealogy you should be able to find a better copy of the birth of your great grandfather.

I've searched the records myself and only found one record of a Fennell/ O'Dea marriage - link - which took place in Ennis in 1926.

The husband and wife died in 1974 and 1969 respectively.

This couple had four children - a son who died young, two daughters who died unmarried, and another son who married and had children and only died in 2021.

Dfenn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120110555#Comment_120110555

No no mate I don't think that all I appreciate you're time honestly, as an adoptee you'reself I'm sure you understand my frustration at this whole thing haha, This means alot hermy thanks mate so much I will definitely have a look on Irish genealogy aswell but thanks for everything else it's a shame they are gone I still hold out hope there must be someone somewhere in the world only time will tell, I will search deeper and if they are all truly gone I will make the journey lay flowers on their graves and their stories will live in my memories.

I remain optimistic even though the odds say I shouldn't.

pinkypinky

Clare Roots Society is another organisation you might considering connecting with, particularly once you get your DNA results.

While you're waiting for your DNA test to come, register a free account on Ancestry.co.uk and start building your family tree *using only confirmed sourced information*

Some basic tips: if you don't know what a woman's birth surname was, leave it blank. Don't put in her married name as this just confuses the search algorithm.

Make the tree public but leave off details of living people (which will default to invisible anyway). This will allow other people to see your tree and possibly make connections. Once your DNA results come in, link them to your tree.

If you don't know precisely when someone was born, again leave it blank.

You can put your speculations into the notes section for each person. Only you can see these.

nuckeythompson

National Library in Dublin are fantastic help with tracing records as they have access to nearly everything

L1011

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120110194#Comment_120110194

These records are all public in both the UK and Ireland, and you can, and should, obtain full copies of them instead of working off damaged ones