How can I make it clear it's just for physical needs?

certadiknu · 17-01-2023 5:57pm #1

I would like some female input on this matter. An ex of mine said she was still interested in me after some years, it was I who broke it up as I didn't want to be in a relationship back then and my mind hasn't changed, but we still remain very close and it's clear she would still finds me attractive. We're both not seeing anyone as far as I can tell, and I wouldn't mind upgrading to intimacy, as long as it's clear it wouldn't be a relationship. What would be the best way for me to explain to her we could give each other physical support of this matter if she wants, but not be dating? We already spend time together anyway.

Caranica · 17-01-2023 6:12pm

So you get what you want, she gets what you want but not what she wants. Ger your kicks elsewhere and don't mess this girl around.

LilacNails · 17-01-2023 10:26pm

Had this done to me.

It was really horrible. I had some responsibility but the guy was happy to take all he wanted and just got rid when he was done.

Leave her alone, she will think its going somewhere and it'll end up with her in tears.

gameoverdude · 17-01-2023 10:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058280075/how-can-i-make-it-clear-its-just-for-physical-needs

Do not go there.

Clean break and get what you want elsewhere.

Really unfair. Stringing along.

No amount of this is just fun sayings is enough. You know the deal.

mykrodot · 17-01-2023 10:50pm

Jeez ........"upgrading to intimacy"! First time I heard that phrase. Leave her alone, there are plenty of women out there who want the same as you, one night stands. This girl is clearly looking for more.

lucalux · 17-01-2023 11:12pm

Nope. Not with an ex

standardg60 · 17-01-2023 11:19pm

OP is trolling surely? No one is that cold.

Caranica · 17-01-2023 11:26pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120122585#Comment_120122585

In this online dating era I can assure you there are plenty of people that cold and colder.

gameoverdude · 17-01-2023 11:29pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120122614#Comment_120122614

If it wasn't an ex and knowing they have feelings I wouldn't see the problem.

Caranica · 17-01-2023 11:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120122638#Comment_120122638

If they're on the same page, absolutely. But plenty of people, mainly guys, misrepresent their intentions.

gameoverdude · 17-01-2023 11:40pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120122665#Comment_120122665

Quite possibly true. A yes a yes for me. A no is a no, generally. Of course after a bit of a sounding out chat. If I'm not sure, I'm not going there. I know both sentences probably contradic each other, but you know what I mean.

yourdeadwright · 24-01-2023 5:48pm

Why not simply just tell her your intention ,

If she's ok with it then fine,

If she's not then also fine move on ,

Don't understand the issue with just asking her,

Calahonda52 · 24-01-2023 5:57pm

First post. looks like a troll who wants an ex whom he dumped to be a fcuk buddy with no strings attached so thats what you need to tell her, anything less is abuse.

maybe below in case two hands are not on keyboard

YellowLead · 26-01-2023 4:41pm

I would echo most posters and recommend not going there. It’s highly likely she still has feelings for you and would agree to this just to be closer to you in the hood something more woud happen. Either that or she will be very annoyed and lose the friendship. If it was her that did the breaking up it would be a different story but it wasn’t.

Find a no strings attached shag buddy on tinder instead.