Is this just a trauma response or should I worry?

The Young Wan

I've been seeing my boyfriend for a couple months. I am rather anxious a lot. This comes from an anxious attachment and a truly **** ex.

Last night he messaged me "I slept a bit this evening, my stomach is a little upset" and today it is still irritating him, so he told me he went to get something from the chemist for it. And we haven't messaged as much or there hasn't been emojis etc.

He's still shared bits of his day, like where the team are gonna go for dinner Thursday. But it just feels like a different vibe. And when we checked in this morning he did say "I had a nice weekend with you, too."

But. When my ex broke it off, the first thing he said when he came into the room was "I've had this pit in my stomach all day" so I'm a little worried this is a similar thing.

Thoughts?

Faith

Seriously, OP, what do you think you will get from this thread that you didn’t get from your dozen previous threads? There is nothing anyone can say here that will help because everything has been said before.

You’ve said yourself what the problem actually is - “I am rather anxious a lot. This comes from an anxious attachment”. The only person who can actually help you is a suitably qualified and trained psychologist, and you’re honestly only fooling yourself if you think things will magically change by posting yet another thread here. If a thread on boards could help, you’d have sorted your issues after any one of your previous threads.

i think you’ve said before that you’re in therapy, so it’s your therapist you should be talking to about why you struggle so much with fears of abandonment. If your therapist isn’t helping, you might need to find a new one.

TheadoreT

You're not even close to being ready for a relationship. It's really not fair on this guy. You're spiralling at the simplest things and almost need full time carer levels of reassurance to keep you semi calm. Like this can't be fun for you, not to mind him.

If you actually care for him let him go and take some serious time to work on yourself.

Jafin

You know you're an anxious person with an anxious attachment style. As was already mentioned, please visit a therapist. I was very much like you and I did some therapy last year and got to the root of my anxiety issues and it did me the world of good. I know it can seem very daunting but there's absolutely no shame in seeking help for this kind of thing.

When people are feeling under the weather it's extremely normal for them to withdraw and change their communication a bit. You're just linking it to what your ex said and basically getting 2+2=5.

Edit: Sorry, just re-read Faith's comment above and it seems like you might already be in therapy, which is good. Maybe you should put any potential relationships on the backburner until you're really ready.

xyz13

Sorry, not sorry but at this stage you need professional help, not an anonymous forum.

I pity the man... I'm shocked you found someone else given your track record [and else].

Best of luck!

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Edited to remove use of real name. Warning applied for breach of charter.