Are Adult males being victimised in these days?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318826#Comment_120318826

I said I don't want to share personal experiences. I don't see that as a cop out on a public forum lol. How is that rubbish?

Relax brah

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318851#Comment_120318851

I’ve shared my personal experience and you were happy to critique that. Why not shed a little context on your own experience so we can openly have an discussion about our potentially conflicting opinions.

You are happy to belittle my experience yet won’t entertain a discussion on your own. If that’s not a cop out I don’t know what is

With that said, I hope whatever happened to you hasn’t upset you in the long term and that everything is well with you.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318752#Comment_120318752

I suppose the definition provided earlier is as handy as any -

According to the sociologist Michael Flood, these include "expectations that boys and men must be active, aggressive, tough, daring, and dominant".

It’s complete nonsense of course, nothing more than “qualities which I perceive as being negative”, declaring them to be somehow “toxic” as if they are socially undesirable.

Its adherents are the equivalent of evangelicals declaring anyone who doesn’t share their ideology should be viewed with contempt or suspicion. Fairly normal sort of ingroup vs outgroup behaviour.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318880#Comment_120318880

I'm lost. Are you agreeing?

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318897#Comment_120318897

Am I agreeing with what now, the definition of toxic masculinity? There’s nothing to agree or disagree with there, it’s just a way of describing behaviours and attitudes which they don’t like in men. It has no validity or legitimacy whatsoever, and I’m not going to afford it any either.

Far as I’m concerned people are entitled to believe whatever they want, their belief doesn’t make anything any more true than it wasn’t already.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318940#Comment_120318940

Is there such a thing as toxic femininity?

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318945#Comment_120318945

Nah, that idea too has about as much legitimacy as the idea of toxic masculinity. That’s not to suggest the term hasn’t been conceived or considered, I’m saying that the idea is just as silly as the idea of toxic masculinity -

To illustrate that, look at a much less-inspected form of gender toxicity: toxic femininity. It exists and is just as pernicious as toxic masculinity in how it affects all people regardless of gender.

Toxic femininity is in evidence when a woman won’t let herself eat anything but a salad while on a date lest the person across the table realize she is an omnivorous being who sometimes tears her teeth into flesh. It’s in evidence when every sweater in a woman’s closet is thinner and frailer than any in a man’s possession and when a parent insists on piercing the ears of a moments-old girl baby to ensure she looks ornamented and sufficiently “pretty.”

https://humanparts.medium.com/toxic-femininity-is-a-thing-too-513088c6fcb3

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318960#Comment_120318960

I'm absolutely lost!

Why can't people just be like the fonz?

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318978#Comment_120318978

Honestly, that's bollox.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318975#Comment_120318975

Toxic femininity is basically the equivalent of toxic masculinity in that it tries to portray women and girls as victims, in the same manner as the concept of toxic masculinity tries to portray men and boys as victims.

People can’t be more like the fonz cos the fonz isn’t a real person, they’re just a character in a cheesy American sitcom set in the 50’s.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319090#Comment_120319090

So people can't be cool?

Everyone needs a title?

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319122#Comment_120319122

Course people can be cool, and some people can’t, because nobody can be something or someone they’re not. Nature always wins out on that score and people’s true nature eventually wins out every time. It’s why concepts like toxic masculinity and toxic femininity are the stuff of nonsense, doesn’t matter how strong people’s beliefs in the concepts are, they’re just not a thing.

People can be cool, they just can’t be more like the fonz, who was a 27 year old actor playing the role of a 16 year old teenager 😳

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319164#Comment_120319164

I've absolutely no idea what you're on about?

If you pass someone and happen to make eye contact so you smile and say hi to them, some people will reciprocate, some will be caught off guard and won't respond (obviously there's a very limited window of time) and some will get suspicious. That's just how people can be here (male and female). I am not a guarded person, but I was given a lovely hello and beautiful smile by a foreign woman one day (I'm also a woman) and I was so surprised by it that I didn't get a chance to process it on time and reciprocate, so she probably thought I was rude, but it was just so unusual. I could hear her speaking to her friend as she approached, and don't know which language it was exactly, but it was definitely a Germanic/Nordic one.

Because of the media portrayal and certain feminists' depiction of Ireland being a place where we women are living in fear all the time (which isn't the case) there is fear being created so naturally some women and girls will have that in mind when out and about, but don't take it personally.

And stop with the "all women are horrible" escalating ffs.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319182#Comment_120319182

This short clip demonstrates why middle-aged men shouldn’t be trying to act cool 😂

https://youtu.be/5sSZlMlCoCw

Still don’t get it? Forget about it 👌

beachhead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318725#Comment_120318725

Holy shite

AidoEirE

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058286778/are-adult-males-being-victimised-in-these-days

This takes the biscuit.

"Adults males victimised these days in parks because women don't say hi to me"

Retitle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319287#Comment_120319287

I think he's saying that men are demonised as potential predators and women are on our guard more. There is fear-mongering imo.

AidoEirE

Imagine walking somewhere regularly and you had it in your head that woman specifically didn't say hi to you as you walked past that you'd make a thread online about it...

Such odd behaviour..

AidoEirE

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319288#Comment_120319288

What park Is he walking around to start a thread about it?

Walk down a street hed get the same reaction.

Just seems odd from his first paragraph of murder stories and victimisation basing it on him walking through a park getting blanked.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319199#Comment_120319199

Ah! I'm not the one who's wrong thought. I'm hip and with it...whatever it is.

archermoo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319439#Comment_120319439

Bollocks. Toxic masculinity is just a term to describe toxic behaviors that are frequently held up as masculine ideals. Things like "boys don't cry", or more generally that men shouldn't show their emotions. Which ends up with men who have no idea how to process their emotions, because all they've ever done is just try to pretend that they aren't there.

Or the idea that a man is owed a response when he says "good morning" to a woman that he doesn't know, and so he feels like a victim when he doesn't get the recognition that he feels is his right. And it isn't just applied to white men.

Toxic masculinity doesn't mean "men are toxic". It's just a way of pointing out those that toxic behaviors that some people associate with what it means to be a "real man".

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319494#Comment_120319494

B0llocks

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319494#Comment_120319494

Toxic masculinity is just a term to describe toxic behaviors that are frequently held up as masculine ideals.

When has playing the victim ever been held up as a masculine ideal? When has it ever been held up as any sort of an ideal? When has it ever even been associated with being a real man?

Because I can’t think of a time when playing the victim was ever held up as an ideal of any sort, whereas the concept of ‘toxic masculinity’ was conceived by men who decided that behaviours and attitudes they saw in other men was an indication that those men were victims of what were then considered social expectations of men. Those men couldn’t meet those standards, so they decided that they would create their own ideals, and anything which they disapproved of, would be considered toxic. That’s where the term comes from.

It’s not gained any more traction in society than it hasn’t had previously, because an idea like that needs men to agree that they are victims who are being oppressed, the very thing which the OP is arguing, which you’ve associated with the concept of ‘toxic masculinity’, because the OP is a man. Wouldn’t be any different if the OP were a woman, the behaviour is easily observed in both men and women, because it’s an individual mentality.

archermoo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319569#Comment_120319569

I never said anything about playing the victim being held up as a masculine ideal. The two examples I mentioned were the idea that showing their emotions is "unmanly". And men having an expectation that women owe them a response if they greet them. Which of those do you view as "viewing themselves as victims"? Because that isn't what either of them are. They can set the person who believes them to feel like they are a victim.

TomTomTim

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319599#Comment_120319599

Pretty unbelievable, considering that the OP was showing his emotions by being honest about how he felt, and was meet by insults by posters like yourself.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319599#Comment_120319599

The point of ‘toxic masculinity’ as a concept, as I’ve explained already, is that in order for it to have any validity or value whatsoever - men have to agree that they are victims of social expectations. If they don’t, then the proponents of toxic masculinity view those men as victims, precisely because they’re not ‘showing their emotions’ by crying and whatever else, they’re not behaving like overgrown children who can’t keep their emotions in check, basically.

And anyone who behaves as though they’re entitled to acknowledgement and when they don’t get it they complain, IS playing the victim, doesn’t matter if they’re a man or a woman, it’s not toxic masculinity, it’s just a victim mentality.

archermoo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120319624#Comment_120319624

I never insulted the OP. I pointed out that women not saying "hi" to him in the park doesn't make him a victim.

Boards.ie: Mike

Thread Closed!!

Thanks all!