How close is your relationship with your mother?

slither12

I have a female friend who is very close with her mother (some would say a bit too much). In a way, they are like best friends and my friend can talk to her about anything. They've even discussed dating, sex, and attractive guys and drink together

I sort of envy her given that while my mother (and father) weren't abusive at all, they were quite dismissive and I at times, I almost felt like a stranger. No affection, no talks, etc.. If I shared problems regarding mental health, they were quickly shut down.

I wonder if a relationship like my friends or mine is the norm or maybe something in between.

SmallgirlBigcity

I think that there is no norm. Some women have amazing relationships with their mams and some don't. I don't and its something that affected my life for a long time but I've made my peace with it now. I tried to change things but at the end of the day I couldn't change her so I had to just accept that. I understand how hard it can be to have a strained relationship with your mother so I feel for you. And it's hard seeing friends have such a close relationship with theirs. I read a book years ago called The Daughterhood and it helped me to come to terms with my situation.

My Mum died age 89 in 2009, having lived with me. She and I got on so incredibly well, and shared similar sense of humour. She coped with my touchiness and depressed moods and knew how best to elevate my mood. She knew me inside out and outside in and was my greatest friend and advocate, whilst never irritating others about how precious and wonderful her daughter was.

My last photo of her on a holiday in Donegal, a couple of weeks before she died of a hospital acquired infection. She did not want to go in, but nursing a vertebral collapse was beyond my capacity at home. That 89th year she had been to Vienna, Santiago de Compostela, Zurich and Donegal, and at time of her death had been looking forward to London and Cyprus, and a 90th birthday party.