Single too long

not_sure_what_to_pick

I am female in my late 30s and I have been single for 5 years. When I broke up with the man I was seeing, I started a part time course and along with full time work, I didn't have much time for dating.

2020 and the covid pandemic hit, so things stalled then. I was afraid with covid around, so 2021 and 2022 wasn't much better. I wasn't even trying.

So it's 2023 and I feel somewhat comfortable to get back out mixing after the covid pandemic but I just don't know what to do anymore.

I hate pubs and clubs. I tried online dating but talk always goes in one direction, it always ends up sexual even though I try and stay away from that kind of talk because I'm just not into things going sexual so quickly. I'm talking about sexual talk before meeting up. It's clear men just want one thing.

So what is the best way to meet men for a late 30 year old?

spaceHopper

It's a numbers game. Try other things like sport or hobbies, friends of friends... but keep with the online dating. If you get a vibe he's only after sex drop them and move on you owe them nothing.

Antipathetic

Maybe give online dating another go make it clear in your profile that you are looking for a relationship, if you struggle to write a profile give ChatGPT a try.

YellowLead

If all you’re getting online is guys going straight for the sex chat, then you are swiping right on the wrong guys. Are you on bumble and hinge as well as tinder?

Outside of that it’s what everyone else said about hobbies and groups and getting out and doing things. Not guaranteed to work of course, but the more people you mix with the more chance there is. It is tough at this age (I’m 38 myself) as a lot of people are paired off, but it’s still very possible. You just have to be okay with it taking a while. Best of luck :)

dubliner10

As others have said, try joining groups related to your hobbies while keeping online dating active. Hinge might work better if not looking for hookups. Also, maybe worth widening your filters on apps (like age, height, distance, etc.) if you feel you’re getting the same kind of people that you don’t feel connected to.

Oops!

39 male myself and single over 5 years, we're not all bad! Just take your time the right one will come along, you might find them in the most unexpected place... Don't shut yourself off or give up.

Count Dracula

I would rather be single than be in a failed or lonely relationship.

Don't make the mistake of classifying your life by what age you are. If you find that sex is not a priority for you then find a partner who stimulates you in other ways. Or even better still find a partner that you would like to enjoy your life with. Sacrifices are an inevitable part of this process.

Stating that men only want one thing is extremely naive. They want oodles of that thing and almost everyday of the week if they can get their hands on it.

Tear down your walls and find out what you want and how you would like to go about getting those things. If you stay disease free and healthy you can expect to live for most likely another 50 years, fill them years with things you enjoy. If you don't like something just stop doing it. Make your life easier, it is complicated enough and will continue to develop further complexities as you go through it.

Keep it simple.

Hannibal_Smith

Moved to the Ladies' Lounge as it you'd be able to have broader discussion here.

Local Charter applies.

HS

victor8600

In addition to advices already given here, I think you shouldn't discount guys "that want one thing". Sure they do, but you have the power to choose the pace and the direction of the relationship. Filter out cheaters who want a "discreet meet", and those who want to sexchat endlessly, but go on dates with those who are willing to spend time with you without the expectation of a one night stand.

cena

38 male. Single also looking to meet a nice lady. Send me a pm if you want to talk

pleh

Join a club, take another course, get out there, take up a hobby, eg golf, tell ur friends u want to meet someone, they may know a single man. If u get asked out dont overthink it, just go out and enjoy urself. We all have to kiss a few frogs before we meet the one