Who CAN you really trust?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120663133#Comment_120663133

The core of what you say I agree with. I would have put it in a different way is all. It may appear to be childish and all those things but it's likely for the person who experiences life in that way, they have been very hurt.

It could always be argued that many mental health issues are a manifestation of childishness, but I don’t think folk in mental health advocacy would quite agree. Let’s face it, people who post in a certain male-dominant thread by frequent contributors about their episodes of problematic bowel movements could well be accused of infantile behaviour. 😉 It’s not black and white and better not to throw stones from centre of a fragile greenhouse.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120668211#Comment_120668211

It absolutely could not be argued 😄

I can’t trust my GP, do t get me wrong, they are an extremely nice person and very well intentioned, but I think there may be a vision or cognitive issue. There’s been a series of errors, latest being that I was prescribed a medication to retain a pregnancy… I’m 62. There was a different gynae medication that was intended to be prescribed. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find Viagra had been prescribed 🤣🤣

looksee

If you feel all the issues can be ascribed to vision or cognitive issues then you should raise the issue with someone in a position to do something about it. You don't have to go shouting, enough small complaints will lead to action if its necessary. They are not going to fire him/her on the basis of one complaint but you might save them or another patient from a more serious problem.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120672757#Comment_120672757

The person is most senior partner, highly respected. I’ve raised it with my friendly pharmacist who frequently deals with the practice and who says it is very difficult to communicate with them, they have had to query quite a number of prescriptions, and I’m sure as alert professionals who are aware of an issue they are much better placed than me to raise a query. I would be without any doctor at all and I’m in quite a serious situation as it is. I was told, quietly, that quite a few other people’s prescriptions needed amendment. That’s why we have highly trained professionals working in our pharmacies.

But aside from my particular issue, we all have to place our trust in qualified professionals, who at times may not have the full capacity to carry out their tasks. Eg, when we step on board an airplane we rely on the Captain & First Officer working together as an effective team. Very rarely does a pilot decide to commit suicide and take everyone else on board with them. When a very rare accident occurs it is mostly on account of something having been omitted or poor cockpit resource management, but for the most part, in airlines with good oversight, we can happily trust these people to our safety.

Same with surgical teams, for the most part everybody cooperates to carry out successful and safe surgeries. Most are well trained and put out well-being first and foremost.

All this being true, I do my little bit of research to make a risk assessment when using a particular airline or medical service. There’s really only a handful of doctors or airlines I will avoid, Air Koryo being one 🤣

Well, my question is very relevant now in the context of #RTEgate, it’s a fact that corruption is all around us in plain sight. RTE is only one example, it existed where I worked, some good honest individuals got bullied out. Good faith is a precious thing.

Strumms

I wouldn’t trust anyone I’d work with or for. Not that I’d go around being overly suspicious of people but I’d be responsibly wary and take what I’m told with a pinch of salt until words are backed up with actions….

If in September I’m told I’m getting an x% pay increase in January, I’ll believe that when the money hits the account…

if in March I’m informed that in August im first in line to get a place on X training course I’ve been hoping for ? I’ll believe it when my arse is sat in the chair in the training room. Employers and colleagues are neither friends or your family…

trust family yes, friends yes…

that said there is an elderly aunt I have that needs to be watched like a hawk…. No outright badness or anything just can be quite manipulative of others especially my dad with her ‘poor auld widow woman’ schtick when she wants help or advice … she and her offspring were quite manipulative of my Dad during covid which didn’t go unnoticed… another cousin.. “ I’d watch that one “ so it’s not paranoia.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120808885#Comment_120808885

When you have misgivings it is often very real and not paranoia.

Sgt Hartman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120810206#Comment_120810206

I found that to be true more often than not. Always trust your instincts when it comes to certain people. When I started my new role in April I immediately got bad vibes from one of the managers after being introduced to her. I thought to myself "if I'm going to have a run in with anyone here it's going to be her". I thought I was just being paranoid at first but I was proven to be correct. Her attitude to me was so bad that I reported her to my supervisor. Thankfully I haven't had any further run ins since. I'm 43 years old, I'm not tolerating that sh!t at this stage of my life.

anonymouscactus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058297681/who-can-you-really-trust

meh.. your misanthropy/disillusionment with humans has clouded your judgment regarding animals... chimps, dolphins, and lions (just off the top of my head) engage in all sorts of activities that offend human values from torturing their prey, to eating young to claim territory, and engaging in the ocassional bout of cannibalsm. So cheer up - nature is even uglier than you think. :D

But to answer your Q: Nobody

SAMTALK

In my 50+ years I'm still amazed to find that people I thought I could trust were not as loyal as I thought and were all about themselves in the long run at the cost of family

the only people I trust are my children. It's sad but it's reality and have learnt the hard way.

i always believed in doing right by family/people and now realise i am a soft touch for people to use and betray

patmahe

Never trust anyone absolutely, I doubt there is anyone who has never lied. But there are those you can trust more than others and that's the best you can hope for, none of us are perfect. Trust your gut and open your eyes and the ones that are the most consistently trustworthy and honest are the ones you want to be around, the ones who let you down repeatedly are the ones to avoid.

yourdeadwright

If we are talking about 100% then yourself & that is it , any other answer is wrong ,

Wife's , kids, family ,Friends can always let you down , its human nature to do so & completely normal

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120812567#Comment_120812567

Usually, but not always, one can trust one’s closely bonded parent, although a friend was badly let down by her “doting” (smothering) parents when she became pregnant before marrying her husband, and indeed this used happen in Ireland and in other cultures.

Larbre34

I feel very sorry for anyone who doesn't have any person in their life that they feel they can trust absolutely.

I'm fortunate that my wife, my mother and a couple of my friends could be trusted with anything.

In fact I know those people would probably help me cover up a criminal act for me, even when it's the last thing I'd want of them. I'm not sure I could do the same.

taxAHcruel

I guess "really trust" and "absolutely" are words that we could get pedantic about.

I mean I think about my best friend in the world. And I know if the next covid brought civilisation to it's knees and somehow we found ourselves standing over a tin of beans that we needed to feed our children - and there was no other food - we are going to fight over the tin. To the death if necessary. And if I had to kill him I would be dragging him home to make steaks out of. We can all think of fantastical situations where "absolutely" just is not going to hold.

But that same friend when my daughter got a diagnosis - which thankfully turned out to be false and she is in fact 100% healthy now - without a moments hesitation asked what he had to do to check if his bone marrow, kidneys and parts of his liver were viable as a donor. So when it comes down to who you "really" trust I guess it means in situations you are actually likely to encounter in life.

And thankfully I have a few of those. And I only hope I can honor them by stepping up to the plate the same way if life ever calls upon me to do so.

Yes, some life or death situations may bring out a primeval survival instinct in us where we might things to survive we would normally not approve of ourselves doing. Other times we might find ourselves being heroic and doing something or denying ourselves an escape to allow someone else to live. There have been such cases in air crashes, but more especially applies to parents or grandparents trapped in their seat insisting on younger relatives not wasting time to rescue them and making their escape.

Donating organs is a great thing to do/offer, but usually there is a little time to consider it, so it’s not an “panic” response. When the bone marrow register (UK based) first became available for Irish people to volunteer, I tried to get my name on it, but the Irish Blood Transfusion Service was an a bit if a mess and a very incompetent doctor couldn’t even get a blood sample and simple told me not to bother. Shortly after the Hep C scandal was uncovered.

taxAHcruel

Yeah being a donor is not great in this country. I was talking to another boardsie about it recently who lives in Germany - and they do it so well there. The Red Cross control it of all people :)

I guess the impulse to "donate" is also mediated by the fact that Marrow and Liver donations are a very low match rate. So if you ever offer - there is little chance you would have to follow through also. So in retrospect that also colors my reaction to my friends reaction.

But there is no coloring the reaction that _in the moment_ someone just offered everything up in that moment to help. If you can "trust" anyone ever - then that is it. And the real challenge in life is to return that kind of thing in kind.

A weird memory that only the oldest of us will remember. But there was a scene in an old tv show "The golden girls" where one of them became pregnant and there was _all kinds_ of reasons for this to be a bad thing. But in that moment all the other girls said to the pregnant woman was "We are gonna be mommies". A true expression of solidarity against all else in that moment.

When the Crap hits the fan - you always spot the real friends in the moment I think.

ottolwinner

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120633584#Comment_120633584

Is that not exhausting in itself and for what end goal.

my attitude annoys some but when I’ve been in similar situations and someone Halas wronged me I just put no energy into them. I compartment it and let it go.

I read a quote from a coach once that said to stop being a victim I’ve focused on that and find it’s much more peaceful to the point I even forget what they did so I guess their spiteful or malice was wasted effort on their part

Me.

tesla_newbie

One area where in the vast majority of cases you can’t trust is tradespeople

the vast majority in my experience will half ass a job and are utterly shameless and cynical about treating the customer with contempt, they have a mercenary mentality whereby right now demand is so high, they just take the money and do not give a fig what happens down the line, you can place ten grand cash in their hand and they will not bid you the time of day afterwards, zero loyalty