Moving to the country

Podge1991

As it is, my partner, our 2yo boy and I live in a small village of about 400 people in Tipperary. We are on the fence about moving to the country, to the hills basically, which is about 15min drive to the village. The particular road has 3 neighbouring dwellings within 5k. So a very quiet location. Rolling Hills, open fields and woodlands. Snow would put a halt any travelling in the winter as it's up fairly high too

I know on paper 15min drive doesn't seem like much, but we are trying to figure out what's best for our boy. He would still be attending the same school, we would just me more isolated.

We are trying to figure out if moving so far out would have negative/zero/positive effect on him and his social groups and development as he gets older.

Things bother me like, will he still have friends?

Will his friends parents want to bring their kids to where we live?

Will he miss out?

Will his social groups reduce?

How will all this impact him?

How far away is a healthy distance.

Any advice or experience shared would be greatly appreciated.

markpb

Brave topic OP, expect some strong opinions on this one!

When your son is young, I wouldn’t expect it to make much difference. He and his friends will be driven to their play dates. I can’t imagine a 15 minute drive making much difference because his friends will probably be rural as well so that drive won’t put anyone off.

As he get older (7+), it will mean that the only time he can see his friends is at scheduled play dates. Some of his friends will live closer to their friends and be able to meet more often. He might notice this and be resentful but more likely, he’ll be completely unaware. He’ll have his friends at school and sports and be happy with that.

On the other hand, expect the toll on you to be quite high. You’ll be driving him and yourselves everywhere. Every morning to school, every afternoon for collection, back in the middle of the morning with forgotten coats and lunch boxes or when he’s sick, back in the middle of the day for the occasional Christmas show, sports days and parents/teacher meetings and then in the evenings for play dates, sports activities, Easter and summer camps, etc. A 15 minute drive doesn’t seem like much but they all add up. That will continue all the way until he’s old enough to drive himself. 16 years of complete dependence on you.

Big Bag of Chips

We live rural. About 20/25 minutes from the nearest city where our lads do all their activities. Up until the last couple of years it didn't matter really. We loved the country. The space. The peace. The knowing where our children were and who they were with.

Now we have 3 teenagers who do various activities and we are never off the road. If they're doing something that is less than 3 hours it's not worth driving home to drive back in. Most activities are between 30mins and an hour and a half, so a lot of time is spent sitting in the car, or walking around Tesco etc to pass the time waiting for them.

All their friends live closer to the town so they can't really drop in, or walk/cycle over. That isolates them a bit too. When they were smaller the country was definitely our preference. Now that they are at a different life stage we are looking at selling and moving to town.

SmallgirlBigcity

When I was 10 my parents moved us from a house in an estate to a house 30 mins from the nearest town. We had an amazing garden and house but I was so lonely. I personally think it's best to live in a community. It's easier for children and teenagers to call around for each other. Some people love the countryside but in my opinion, it's not worth it. It can be very isolating.

John_Rambo

I'm an urbanite and fairly vocal on boards.ie about the advantages of urban living, village life, city proximity, rich cultures and community. So, nails to the mast, I'm biased!

My house mate whom I shared a house with for three years went rural. Proper rural. At the same time I went suburban. We still see each other, I visit her on the farm, she visits me, we stay over and have good chats. We spent similar money on our houses, she built, I bought a house after selling my city centre one.

She never gets out of her car now, kids are teens, mine are young, pre-teens & teens. Her youngest never gets off his games console and she found GAA was the only option for sports with disappointment when they didn't perform as well as some of the gifted kids. I'm not going to get in to nauseating boasting about what my kids do but the pickings are rich & they cycle, skate or get the DART or bus. The type of socialising we get up to doesn't happen for her, the BBQ's, the entertaining, the parklands, markets etc... She (and her husband farmer) agree that if it weren't for the viable farm they'd have gone urban once the kids hit around 7 or 8. They're happy, there's no doubt about it and the farm is making lots of money, but they love coming to my house and admit the lifestyle comparison is vast. I love going to her house and some of the advantages are vast. She has so much room, the house is huge.

It's a tough call, I wish you the best of luck.

fits

I live just outside a village. About a km but it’s hilly and we go in mainly by car. I just got an e-bike. Road probably too dangerous for the children to cycle it yet unfortunately.

there is no way I would live 15 minutes out now. I see where the boys friends are and some houses are so isolated. It’s no fun having to get in the car to go anywhere at all. I have some land which I am managing but otherwise we’d be in a medium sized town I’d say.

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120877713#Comment_120877713

Different strokes for different folks and the kids will fit in just fine either way.

JeffKenna

Snow would put a halt to any travelling in the winter....where in god's name are you moving to?