Harassment- Kids Playing and Parents abusive behavior

marauxsal

Being kind and friendly is a good act and in my opinion doesn’t need any explaining. We all follow different ways to develop friendships and relationships and you may find this unusual and suspicious but as I said be non judgmental. I genuinely came here to look for help and entirely feel free to form your opinion it doesn’t bother me. I would like to thank you for offering your valuable opinion and thoughts appreciate it.

looksee

We all follow different ways to develop friendships and relationships and you may find this unusual and suspicious but as I said be non judgmental.

This is very true, but what you may need to take account of is the fact that you apparently originally come from a different culture to the one you are living in currently, and what may be normal and usual to you is not seen in quite the same way in this culture. If this is a clash of cultures, unfortunately the person who has come into a new culture is the one who has to make a bit more effort to adapt.

This does not mean that ill mannered neighbours are right or normal, or that you can only accept everything that happens, but the solutions may be a little different to what you might expect.

Ezeoul

We lived in Dublin estates for the past 21 years and are very patient people don’t create noise and best neighbours one could have and that’s the reputation we have developed over the years. We have moved to county side with a Hope of developing and growing old with a community but of course we made a bad decision of choosing a neighborhood that’s not inclusive which is the issue here.

According to the OP, they've been living in Dublin estates for 21 years so should be very well accustomed with the culture here by now.

They moved into an already established area, and then expected to change it.

Their expectation for no noise and complete privacy, (in a housing estate) and then complaining to the neighbours about their kids doing what kids do - playing on a green area or coming into their garden to collect a stray ball - is not very congruent with their wish to develop friendships or good relationships with their neighbours.

And then they blame the neighbours, for being "not inclusive".

Curse These Metal Hands

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070022#Comment_121070022

I notice that you repeatedly leave out the detail that they were hitting the OPs car.

You got the hump as soon as the OP mentioned racism, and now you're purposely trying to misrepresent what they said. I think you've shown your true colours with that last paragraph too.

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070289#Comment_121070289

Oh get a grip. 🙄

Cars getting hit by balls is quite a common occurrence in housing estates in the summer. There have been plenty of threads on the topic of cars being hit by balls here over the years. God knows, my own has gotten a few wallops in its time. Should I assume the kids were doing it deliberately, or that the motivation was racism? Should I shout "trespass" at a kid coming into my garden to collect a stray ball?

The OP confirmed it has happened to their elderly neighbour, yet somehow, they think they are being singled out and then accuse the neighbourhood of being "non-inclusive". Their words.

If this thread is not a wind-up (which I now believe it is) then I think the OP is being overly paranoid.

nachouser

It's a piss take. Accom mods should know by now.

nachouser

It's a piss take. Accom mods should know by now. The op started over a month ago and was dead til someone restarted it.

Curse These Metal Hands

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070325#Comment_121070325

And now you are deliberately leaving out the fact the OP has had racist slurs used against them, and instead trying to claim that the OP said that the car getting hit with balls is racist.

Very bad faith posting from you.

nachouser

The op joined on August 9. They are just a troll. Ffs.

fullstop

Next time a football comes in, stick a knife in it (the ball), OP. They won’t kick another one in 😉

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070356#Comment_121070356

I'm not leaving anything out. I'm not here to quote every post made by the OP either. Maybe you should take the time to read into their posts with the same attention to detail as you are trying to read into mine.

They are the ones who made a sweeping claim that their neighbours are racists and the neighbourhood is non-inclusive. Yet at the same time:

"I am not the only one with an issue, my next neighbor does experience the same but she is very old cannot do anything about it."

They have also ignored or declined to answer other direct questions, so while you are free to swallow the whole story, verbatim, if you choose, I'm taking it with a massive pinch of salt.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070417#Comment_121070417

AKA gas-lighting.

Curse These Metal Hands

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070417#Comment_121070417

Making racist slurs is racist, of course it's going to feel non inclusive if people are being racist to you. Baffling that you think otherwise. Why are you so unwilling to believe that it may have happened? I live in a multicultural estate and every African or Indian family here has experienced it. I've even witnessed it. And the perpetrators are always the ones that got handed a house in the estate, let their kids run rampant, and then fly off the handle if anyone even dares suggest that they act like civilised human beings.

Simi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070430#Comment_121070430

This situation is far more common than people will admit. I had eerily similar trouble to the OP in my first home, minus the racist abuse. I had also rented in many estates for years without issue.

I ended up selling up and moving at the earliest opportunity. It's soul destroying to invest all that time saving for a home, getting a mortgage and then finally getting the keys to your first home only to be constantly harassed by scumbags and their brat kids.

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070430#Comment_121070430

If you had actually read my posts like I suggested, you would know that I said the one thing I believed was likely, is that racist language was used.

The rest, I simply find too far-fetched.

You can believe what you want.

marauxsal

Thanks for forming your own conclusion and advice based on your judgement. This isn’t a piss take and if you think it is let it be I am not here to argue. If you have anything constructive to say I respect that but if your intention here is otherwise respectfully ignore it.

I have been one of the few people in the industry worked hard to develop diversity and inclusion so please thanks for your suggestions I am well aware of what’s accepted and what’s not. No one wants to create an issue out of nothing believe me I don’t have time for this. What do you think I will achieve here by simply writing a post? The objective here is looking for answers/solutions so please thanks for valuable time. The racist comments were aimed at us not the neighbour.

I didn’t come here hoping everyone to believe all the points I mentioned that wasn’t my intention. Believe what you want to believe and leave the rest. Once again thanks for your time

marauxsal

Thank you for sharing your experience. We have thought about it unfortunately given the financial situation it isn’t viable. i wish there was awareness, understanding and due respect to fellow neighbors and their privacy. The lack of one is disappointing to say the least

marauxsal

I totally agree with you that’s exactly what we feel right now

Ezeoul

Marauxsal, you claimed in one post that only your house was being targetted by the kids balls, and then in another confirmed that your elderly neighbour has the same issue.

In another post you said you are nice and friendly with the kids, then in another said you don't interact with the kids at all, only the adults.

You also never said anything about your house being a bungalow, until someone thought to question you on the position of the bedroom windows.

All through the thread, you've been tailoring your responses, which makes me doubt your credibility.

The bottom line is, you moved into an already established area, and instead of thinking the neighbours now have to fit in with you, you have to fit in with them. I think a lot of what is happening you are seeing through clouded lenses.

You've received some good advice from other posters on how best handle this situation, but you seem to want to ignore their advice, so good luck to you.

By all means, make a report to the Gardaí in relation to the racist name-calling. But in reality, I think you'll be disappointed by the outcome. The Gardaí simply don't have time to act on reports of kids "trespassing" by going into your garden to retrieve balls, or of name calling by neighbours.

My final word on this. Next time, don't buy a house facing a green area.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121071857#Comment_121071857

I agree Ezeoul. The ops posts are confused. I don't think we are getting the full details - the op hasn't told us how they are being stalked etc. The op mentioned something also about stopping paying a club membership but didn't say what they meant by this. I get the feeling these issues are stemming from issues away from a few kids accidently kicking a ball into the front garden but we are not being told the full story.

Anyway op I hope you get the issues sorted soon and that you can enjoy living peacefully in your home 🙏

marauxsal

Thanks Ezeoul once again for adding your comments and perspective on this situation. You may think that my responses are tailored or contradictory but I am sure you will respect that I cannot disclose the full details in a public setting and hence outlined an overview but if this may have caused the confusion apologies.

Secondly the kids sweets incident was prior to the encounter with the parents infact the kids called out to our door looking for treats and that has changed in the recent months with the encounter with their parents. We no longer interact with the kids but addressed the issue few times with the parents. Hope this has given clarity to you and other readers. I came here looking for your valuable suggestions and my purpose doesn’t extend beyond that. I am grateful for the valuable suggestions received which I appreciate and take on board.

Unfortunately I cannot disclose the details of stalking incidents considering privacy but I am sure you all understand and respect that.

thank you all genuinely for actively engaging and offering your advice🙏

marauxsal

Thank you appreciate your advice and we are hoping the issues will be resolved soon.

Oscar_Madison

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121072743#Comment_121072743

So you’re moving then?

Dangee4050

Houses facing greens and corner houses with boundary walls are a Nightmare. Unless your a parent of a kid who loves to play football.

I would wait until a ball comes in and bring it into the house and tell the kid to get his parents to come for it. I would do it every time it happens and they will hate me for it but it will soon stop.

1874

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121074074#Comment_121074074

Dont do this OP, as someone in the first page of replies said, see if you can back off from problems. Id be seriously suspect of any kind of advice that suggests escalation like the above or suggest puncturing a ball, which could be used against you. Personally, I wouldnt get bothered about kids getting their ball, but intentional booting it against a window or car would. Keep your own diary of anything but try minimise response to it at all, these people will get bored when its lashing rain and their parents when the evenings shorten. You could consider getting them to back off if you have any recorded proof of a racist comment while its recent and making an official complaint, that may just get a backlash, so maybe a more informal complaint to the community Garda assigned to your local station. If there is any backlash, then the person who the complaint is about would be the most likely suspect for any follow up, these kind of people like to operate without scrutiny and are usually cowards, your call. Will probably die down over winter, but if it kicks off again then without a doubt Id make it official. End of the day, the only way to get away from people like this is to move, so Id make longer term plans for that, in the interim, its better to have the kind of car you dont really care about the body work so its not so much of a bother.

Former Former Former

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070396#Comment_121070396

Unfortunately, that would escalate things massively.

When the parents are as bad as their kids, there is very little you can do except keep your head down.

The OP is in an awful position to be living in an estate with all these scrotes and their scumbag parents, but all he/she can really do is ride it out and hope they get bored. People like this don't need to give a shyte because there are no consequences for their actions.

Dangee4050

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121074375#Comment_121074375

alot of the advice you’re getting is to hang tight it will get better. I don’t agree with this.

I’ve been there and lived through it. It gets better in the winter but always starts back up once spring comes.

If you do keep the ball and wait for the parents to come be polite and tell them the ball is causing you a lot of stress and disrupting your life and you think that they should be aware of it and every time it comes into your property they have to come get it.

it will escalate things but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself.

If your neighbours are very aggressive maybe don’t do this depends on the people your dealing with though.

Dav010

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121070022#Comment_121070022

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121071857#Comment_121071857

Are you purposely misreading the op’s account of events, or is it just an exercise in victim blaming? If the guy is being subjected to racist slurs, people, including adults are entering his property without permission, and his car is being hit with a ball, each and everyone of those is a reasonable cause for complaint, combined, they must be extremely annoying.

mykrodot

I feel very sorry for you OP and don't think your post is a piss take at all. Ignore the cynicism and baiting from Ezeoul!

I lived in a multicultural housing estate in the suburbs of Dublin until last year. It was facing a quiet green. Mostly things were peaceful but I used to dread the Summertime. Balls constantly being bounced off walls, off concrete pavements , off tarmac. Cricket being played and cricket balls smashing into my car (I didn't have" a driveway), a basketball net was erected and kids from other areas came in to our small green to play . These "kids" were taller than me and I am 5'9. Constant BBQ's, drinking and smell of weed from the neighbouring gardens.

Nothing violent happened and most people were friendly in the area but I could see where this was heading in a few years time. I just felt uncomfortable and that I was a bit trapped in my house especially at weekends. So I moved to the countryside.

These issues are very real and cause real stress. Its not just "one ball", its lots of them, lots of different kids hopping over walls to collect them, multiple incidents. If you have pets its stressful too. As the OP said all he wants is respect and the ability to call his house his own, a bit of peace and a bit of privacy. He mentioned looking ahead to retirement in this house. People pay so much for houses these days , its not that easy to just up sticks again!!

1874

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121074913#Comment_121074913

Im not the OP, and while sometimes a hardline is the only approach to take as scrotes can latch onto what they see niceness as weakness, its as well to know which battles to fight (I wouldnt try placate them by being nice or giving chocolates regardless of cultural backgrounds or differences as that could easily be twisted). If people think something annoys someone, the parents may be telling or just letting their kids have at it. Holding onto a ball (essentially someones property which may onvolve a climb down or be viewed as such if they demand it back) or puncturing it (involve a sharp implement) could easily go against the OP as then these types will be able to twist that in their favour and the OP wont be able to approach the Gardai and say they are being hassled. Even if the OP punctured a ball in private, anyone could say he produced a weapon and did it right in front of them or their children, holding onto a ball may be an option IF the OP had already reported them for harrassing behaviour which would have to include the parents comments, because then they may be able to turn around to the Gardai and say, look I reported all this and its still going on, so they'd want to be literally targeting you directly,your property,your children and wellying the ball at you hard, rather than just taking it off them if it came into a persons garden from playing football, ie so setting up a goal at your gate and belting the ball at your wife/children/windows, yeh then Id hold onto it, let a parent get it back and give them an earful without sounding hostile and be ready to record every bit of it in case they show their true colours . Holding onto someones ball, they will probably just get another one and boot that one just as hard, or a brick and put it through a window. Personally Id not be bothered about footballs into gardens or the like so long as it wasnt intentional wellying into my windows, door or car, but I have seen how scrotes can be, and other adults can be fearful of getting involved in case they are targeted or the family of said scrotes are well known for some reason.