Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Guy I'm dating told his friends some explicit information about me

Options
  • 19-10-2023 6:03pm
    #1
    eaglach
    Registered Users Posts: 223 ✭✭


    Not to go into too much detail, but I've been chatting to a guy (I'm also a guy) on Tinder for a long time and have gotten to know him very well. For various reasons we did not get to meet each other in person for a while, but we eventually did and have gone on a number of dates. We have a very strong connection and I really feel things are going to go somewhere. He is very much of the same opinion.

    The problem is that he was telling me that he told his friends all about me. It sounded very sweet that he was saying how great I was to his pals, that's until he mentioned that he also told some details about me in a sexual sense. It was very much a compliment about me, but I feel kind of disappointed that he said something so personal to these people.

    He is the sweetest guy I've met and he's since apologised. I know he didn't think it was a problem (which is likely why he told me he said it) and he has profusely apologised since and said it would never happen again.

    I feel a bit strange that his friends know an intimate detail about me and it will no doubt be in my mind when I first meet them. Do I have any right to be disappointed or should I just get over it? My chats with him since have been a bit forced because it's still on my mind and I can't pretend it's not. I would like to move on from this completely isolated incident but I'm not sure how to deal with it.



Comments

  • Options
    #2
    amdublin
    Registered Users Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    I would move on completely from him, not the incident, he sounds like an idiot



  • Options
    #3
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,880 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    He apologised so it’s likely he was just proud of you and wanted to show off to his friends. Inconsiderate and not well thought out, but hardly a deal breaker if everything else is going well. Only you can decide if it’s forgivable for you or not.



  • Options
    #4
    Dumb Juan
    Registered Users Posts: 80 ✭✭Dumb Juan


    Hi,

    To be fair to him, he apologised for his mistake , he now knows it is wrong and he will probably not do it again. Forgive him and try to move on.

    However if he is indiscreet again then he has not learnt and it would be a deal breaker.

    Hopefully you can forgive and forget and you will stay together.



  • Options
    #5
    Murph85
    Registered Users Posts: 1,068 ✭✭✭Murph85


    Bad move. What age is he ?



  • Options
    #6
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 13,180 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    It was very insensitive of him but sounds like it wasn't malicious.

    Maybe he was/is a bit naive?

    However only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. Trust your gut feeling on it.

    To thine own self be true



  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,071 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    You said it was a compliment, which means it was something nice about you. Even if it was of a sexual nature. I'm sure if the relationship progresses and develops there will be something along the way that you tell your friends about him that he might not want you sharing with them.

    You are thinking about this much more than his friends are. If/when you meet them they are not going to be sitting there thinking of what he said. Honestly, they're unlikely to even remember. You're someone their friend has started seeing. They'll be happy for him that he's happy. Outside of that they'll think very little about you.



  • Options
    #8
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,639 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Tbh it would all depend on what the comment he made was, but naturally you don't want to go into detail here.



  • Options
    #9
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,749 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121277776#Comment_121277776

    This. For me it would very much depend on what was said. "He's amazing in the sack" is very different to "He has X very specific kink and loves it when I do Y". Only you know where your personal rubicon is, though.



Advertisement