Where to go from here?

shellybabyxox

So having left a long term relationship I got some fertility testing done recently. I’m 32 F by the way. My amh was 7.24pmol/L - 8.96pmol/L (tested twice in same month and got 2 different results), AFC was 8 on one ovary and 3 on the other. 

Now I’m stressed.

I’ve considered being a single mom by choice and doing IVF soon with the hope that there would be left over embryos so the pressure would be off for the 2nd child. I think I just want 2 kids total. There is no perfect time to have kids right? And I’m not getting any younger.

Egg freezing seems like maybe a waste of money and not enough of a guarantee especially with my above results I’d need multiple cycles I think right? 

Or could freeze embryos (using donor sperm) since that has a higher success rate? 

I’ve found a donor who I’m very happy with so if I’m going to do anything involving a donor I’d kind of like to choose this one before he’s sold out.

This whole situation has me very anxious. I don’t feel ready to make this decision yet but my time is running out faster then I thought and I feel the need to at-least have a plan. 

Considering the above results it would be silly and reckless to forget all this for now right and revisit the fertility clinic situation next year? I’m still recovering from the breakup. I’m very quiet, shy and kind of anti social so I’m scared to count on me finding another partner anytime soon especially one that I’d be willing to tie myself to for life. I haven’t dated in a very long time and dating in your 30s is so different to your 20s. 

Feeling low these days and lacking in self esteem. I don’t have much faith I’ll meet anyone but also the SMBC feels more like a last resort then first choice to me so maybe I need to slow down and try force myself to find someone? I really don’t wanna date under pressure either though. My biological clock is ticking loudly and it’s hard to block it out and focus on dating to be honest…..

Maybe if I had one child using a sperm donor my biological clock wouldn’t be ticking so loudly and I could relax and hope to meet someone before I need to use the left over frozen embryos for a second child? This really isn’t how I imagined my life would turn out. Any advice on what my next move should be would be greatly appreciated.

Ann84

If you want to have children and are worried that you won’t meet a partner in time for you, then yes go for it. You can meet the man of your dreams with a child - the man of your dreams would understand 🤗

Magicmatilda

Just to share my experience.

Had my amh done at 37. It was about 5. I was advised it may jump off a cliff so I froze some eggs. Got 11 to freeze. I had been single since 32 at that stage.

At 39 I met a guy. Told him my plan was to have a child in 6 months. I wanted to be a year in my job to qualify for mat leave. I told him that on date 3 said he could be involved or not but I was doing it. 6 months later we had moved in and we started trying naturally. Another 6 months did a round of IVF it failed. Did another round and have a lovely baby boy. I was 41 having him. I wanted to keep my eggs for 2nd one.

Now I have one I realise just how much it takes out of you. I'm not sure I would have coped alone. I would not have had any family support though.

I think 32 is quite young to give up on meeting someone. If you do go for it there are groups on Facebook to connect with other women and there are plenty of others out there. Make sure you have family support.

Ann84

Quick question but how does one “make sure you have family support”?

You either do, or you don’t and even if you don’t you can still raise a child alone 🤷🏼‍♀️ it’s just not easy