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Partner not going back to work - am I being unfair??

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    #62
    lisasimpson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,853 ✭✭✭lisasimpson


    One important thing here is apart from giving him a kick in the hole is what age is everyone you and kids etc.

    He needs reality check, it'd not just him impacted by the illness its the whole house. Need to keep his foot in the door. Horrible to say it but the death in service benefit, that secures the family future, help pay education expenses, 3rd level etc.

    Also horrible to say again but you need to mind yourself. What's his plan of you were to get sick in the morning and needed time off work. Nor every employer is a generous as his.

    Did he ever get councillors to deal with his illness



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    #63
    Sunriser78
    Registered Users Posts: 23 ✭Sunriser78


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121399969#Comment_121399969

    Thanks you are right - done now rather than while grieving. Everything work and insurance related is done.

    I haven't approached him on the death in service. Even though he's had councelling from the angels in ARC, he has difficulty getting his head around the diagnosis, and I'd get backlash for bringing it up.

    In fact, I'm going to call ARC as they offered me councelling too. I should have thought of that earlier.



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    #64
    Sunriser78
    Registered Users Posts: 23 ✭Sunriser78


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121401044#Comment_121401044

    I'm so sorry to hear about your boss. Some people are such xxxxxx. Glad to hear you're back from it

    Yes he is just focussed on himself. We were talking about Xmas presents and I got out the spreadsheet got through to him how tight everything is.

    He said he'd think about going back but then said he couldn't bear the thought of the stress of working, on top of the diagnosis.

    I think it would be good for him to work for to get a break from himself, never mind the money.



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    #65
    Sunriser78
    Registered Users Posts: 23 ✭Sunriser78


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121399969#Comment_121399969

    That's great advice about switching gear thank you



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    #66
    Sunriser78
    Registered Users Posts: 23 ✭Sunriser78


    Thanks for your suggestions and support all!

    I went over it with him again and it finally sank in.

    He is going to request a scan and all going well, is going to go back to work :-)



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    #67
    Ezeoul
    Registered Users Posts: 3,018 ✭✭✭Ezeoul


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121432676#Comment_121432676

    That's good news, and I hope it all goes well.

    Best of luck. 👍️



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    #68
    road_high
    Registered Users Posts: 19,417 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    Just shows - communication!



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    #69
    blackbox
    Registered Users Posts: 4,338 ✭✭✭blackbox


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121399969#Comment_121399969

    In addition to this good advice, both of you should have wills made out.

    My advice (subject to what your solicitor says) is that each of you should bequeath everything to the other. The survivor can distribute what is left to the children.



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