So many middle aged Irishmen have let themselves go

LambshankRedemption

How is wearing badly fitting jeans and a fleece, letting ones self go?

yagan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121891806#Comment_121891806

Regardless of the garb I'd describe "letting yourself go" applying to anyone who takes no effort with their appearance, both physiologically and superficially.

Edit to say it might not be a matter of effort, and as easily a lack of self awareness.

LambshankRedemption

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121891918#Comment_121891918

Thats your definition, the OP entitled the thread Middle aged men letting themselves go, then goes on about fashion preferences.

By the way, some of us were ugly basta&ds even in our 20s. We didn't let ourselves go, we just still are the same but older.

jj880

Pretty simple answer to this. Priorities.

Putting food on the table and paying bills versus being a pretentious fashionista with coiffed locks and designer stubble.

RoboRat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121891283#Comment_121891283

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I certainly don't regret having them (most of the time 🤣). Your life changes though, and depending on what you're willing to give/ sacrifice, will determine how much it will change. It also depends on the family setup. For example, a friend of mine lives close to his parents and he can drop his kids there anytime. His life is a lot closer to what it used to be. If both parents are not working full time, it changes the dynamic too.

I also have mates with kids who are not into activities and happy to sit in front of the Xbox / PS4 / TV. They don't have to spend every evening running around with their kids to sports or music. My brother has 3 kids but he separated from the missus, so he still has every weeknight to do as he pleases.

I was just highlighting that children can have a significant impact on the time available for both men and women. When people have kids they tend to put their needs and wants first... it goes hand in hand with being a parent.

I make do with the time I have but I really have to push myself to get out training sometimes as I am absolutely exhausted. My kids are starting to take an interest in training with me and we go out and box a few times a week in the garage. I also drag them along for long mountain walks with the promise of a hot chocolate and bun after. I hope to start taking them to BJJ training with me when they're a little older, or doing the local mountain bike trails.

They are expensive little buggers though... but well worth it.

Dynomutt

OP is possibly busy choosing the right designer t-shirt, cargo pants, and Sketchers for his photo. Just imagine he looks something like this (add 20 or so years).

yagan

It seems there's two different discussions stemming from the thread title.

For me letting myself go means letting your health deteriorate by either under or overconsumption, by over exercise or none.

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892003#Comment_121892003

😁

Is there perhaps a healthy mid point somewhere between being a 'pretentious fashionista' and looking like Jeremy Clarkson?

ARX

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121891657#Comment_121891657

I've taken the ferry to Harwich in Essex twice, once from Esbjerg (Denmark) and once from Rotterdam. Both times I went into the supermarket at the port as soon as I arrived, and it was quite shocking to see the state of people after coming from Denmark or the Netherlands. Bad skin, bad hair, bad teeth, significant excess weight, mobility issues. I guess that's what a long-term diet of junk food does.

RoboRat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121891366#Comment_121891366

Getting up at 5:30 would mean one hour less sleep. Sleep is as important as exercise... as is rest in general. I try to get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep as sleeping for six hours or less is associated with higher odds of developing a range of medical conditions.

I can't comment on your circumstances - if having kids didn't affect your ability to have free time... I'm genuinely jealous. I can only comment on my own circumstances and say that it has a big impact. I'm sure I'm not alone in this.

I 100% agree with what you're saying about diet and everything I cook is fresh and healthy (bar Friday nights when we have homemade pizza) but let's not forget that this also takes time.

I'm not saying you can't stay in shape with kids, but it does impact your ability to in most cases. It's a bit disingenuous to say that people are letting themselves go without factoring in the time that kids absorb.

I'm lucky that I have a full gym in my garage and I generally do 3 to 4 one-hour plus sessions a week coupled with one night BJJ training. Many nights I literally force myself to go out there and say I'll just do ten minutes because I'm shattered... but once I get going, I'll do the full session. If I had to drive to the gym, it would be far harder.

Strumms

Can you imagine the impact and consequences if someone had posted a thread titled…, ‘middle aged Irish women letting themselves go’….

misogyny or misandry, two sides of the sane coin surely 👀

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892243#Comment_121892243

Didn't you already say exactly the same thing on page 3 of the thread?

If you've an issue with middle aged Irish women letting themselves go, maybe try starting a thread about it to test your hypothesis?

yagan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892202#Comment_121892202

We have it here too, no doubt but England is certainly further down the road.

About twenty years ago the last time I took a package holiday to Lanzarote you could not ignore the difference in physical appearance between the queues for north European flights and our flight back to Dublin. Nearly everyone in the north European queue was svelte, with lots of what appeared to be multi general families.

Now that flight to Dublin is not representative of all Ireland as I remember most of the adults were roaring drunk at the hotel bar everynight when we came back from sightseeing each day, but it was depressing to see two such contrasting queues and I was on the one full of people complaining about needing a smoke.

jj880

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892172#Comment_121892172

I'm 43 now. The ass hangs outa both my pairs of tracksuit bottoms and I'll get a haircut when there's a wedding / christening.

Middle ground? Sure 10 or 20 years ago. That reminds me. Must get a new pair of crocs from the middle isle next time I'm in Aldi.

The missus hasnt divorced me yet 😂

How you like that o1s1n?

Bobson Dugnutt

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892258#Comment_121892258

There’s also been plenty of threads over the years on Karen’s etc. You’d think from reading some of the posts here that the white middle-aged dude who lives in one of the wealthiest countries in the world is somehow the most downtrodden minority that has ever existed.

Potatoeman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892270#Comment_121892270

It might be the perception of the holiday destination rather than an accurate representation of the whole country. I mean it has a reputation as spot with rough round the edges tourists.

It’s the same when people say there are no attractions people from x, well where are they looking?

Daisy78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892243#Comment_121892243

Do a search, plenty of these types of threads about Irish women on boards.

yagan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892339#Comment_121892339

I totally agree, it's certainly not representative of the whole country, it's probably more a reflection of the package rather the destination. Although I think the queue next to us to north europe was also a charter flight for a package company.

It was in schools being off time and both had families with kids, but the manner and tone between the was very different. The other queue was calm and relaxed, our queue was restless and the kids hyper.

I had been on package holidays out of Ireland in previous years and it never felt as bad, but we were in the bertie bubble era.

Ash.J.Williams

Sometimes people who are judged to have let themselves go are just happy in life

Half the cnts here complaining are probably the type that jog on the spot at red traffic lights

sameoldname

This discussion reminds me of two of my ex-girlfriends. Or at least, the contrast between them.

The first was at best 5ft 1in on a good day. Looked after herself but found it incredibly hard sometimes. Through genetics she had got the looks of her mother but the muscle mass of her father and she was properly strong. Like, could easily lift me off the ground strong even though I was nearly a foot taller and not far off twice her weight. So even though she was a tiny little thing in general, she had big legs and big upper arms for her size. She was not a delicate little flower, she just looked like one.

Anyway, all this natural strength meant that when it came down to exercise, if she started say jogging or cycling, within a month or so her legs would start bulging with muscle which she absolutely hated. Understandably, she wanted her legs to get thinner, not bigger but she just wasn't built that way. So in her mind the only way she could really lose weight was by diet alone. Coupled with the fact she dealt with a hormonal problem from since she was a teenager she really did yoyo in weight quite a bit. I mean, she was never fat and she always looked great but she did gain weight easily and it was extremely difficult for her to keep her size down to where she wanted it. So, the result of all this was that she never gave anyone any grief when it came to their weight as she herself understood how difficult it could be.

Contrast this with the next girl I was seeing. She was easily 5ft 7+ and was properly svelte. She jogged and exercised a bit and did some strength training but it wasn't a huge amount. In spite of that though she didn't really have much in the way of muscle mass so despite being over 6 inches taller than the previous girl, she was probably lighter. She was certainly easier for me to carry anyway.

Anyway, this girl had a real dislike for overweight people. She said it was a sign of mental weakness. I really had to bite my tongue when she was saying this stuff as she was always thin. I saw pictures of her in her early 20's and she didn't even really have hips at that stage though she eventually got them by time I met her when she was 30. It never really sunk in with her that she was genetically predisposed to having an easier time of staying thin than a lot of other people. She wasn't a foodie, she had a very simple diet, mostly lentils. A food blow-out for her was a few slices of Kilmeadan cheddar! She loved jogging and just liked fitness in general. She was doing things she enjoyed that also happened to keep her thin and I think because of that, she never had much empathy for the people who really struggled. She also had a job where she left the house at 8.15 and was back by 3.45 so she had plenty of time to do activities.

My point is, a lot of the most judgmental people think everyone should be like them because often, it's easier for them so they see no reason why others struggle so much. It's like people who love their job and can't understand why other's don't too. I mean ask yourself, who's working harder; the person who skips to work looking forward to the day or the person who peels themselves out of bed and bursts into tears in the shower at the thought of what's to come?

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892427#Comment_121892427

The Podcast sphere - depending on how much stock you put in the PHDs who appear on those kind of shows - have recently been pushing back a lot on that notion that you need to be much more careful and scale back as you get older. Peter Attia, Andrew Hubermann, Gary Brecka, Paul Saladino, Gabrielle Lyon spring to mind just from recent memory but loads more all are saying similar.

Now of course what they are not saying is that old age slow down and acquired delicacy is a myth. So when I say they are pushing back I do not mean they are saying the notion is outright wrong or anything like that.

But there is - if I may paraphrase their collective messaging - a certain self fulfilling prophecy to it too. If we see our age as indicative that we should be scaling back our efforts and we therefore start to lose muscle mass and energy and endurance and flexibility and so forth - then those loses can lead to burn out and injury and falls and so forth in our old age. In fact according to some there is no bigger predictor in comparing longevity to age related issues and injuries than muscle mass. And a lot of men will credit the loss of testosterone with age as part of the issue but if you let muscle mass decline then that too is a predictor of loss of testosterone. So again the prediction of such loses leads people to do the very thing that causes such loses.

One of them, Brecka I think, defines aging with his tongue in his cheek as "The aggressive pursuit of comfort". Partially joking as I think he is - I think his point is that our perception of age can lead us to pursue the very things that might in fact be accelerating our aging.

It's all outside my pay grade so I do not mean to vicariously defend their positions so much as just to just mention they are out there. I can but speak for myself and so far (age 45) I am stronger, faster, more flexible, mentally and sexually more active, more capable, winning more medals and more full of general energy and motivation than any other point in my life and all of these things still seem to be on an upward curve rather than level or downward. And my testosterone and other blood panel results are better now than when I was 25 or 35.

Happy to let that continue as long as I can and whatever ultimately causes me to finally start slowing down - it wont be merely contemplating what year it is I hope! I love seeing the 80 year olds who are running marathons or breaking their pull up bar personal records or competing in Jujitsu or climbing mountains and so forth. More power to them :)

We all need to be careful of "overdoing it" you are right. Whether you are 5, 55, or 85. But it also pays to be careful deciding what "over doing it" means for us as an individual and ensure that we are basing that conclusion on much much more than notions we might have about what a 45 or 55 year old is meant to be capable of. I know 80 year olds doing things that would be "over doing it" for some 20 year olds :)

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892475#Comment_121892475

I would agree. I have been in Germany a lot recently and I have noticed a lot of the women there look quite different to the women of the same age here in Ireland. I would say their figure looks healthier than the Irish. But their look of skin and age seems a lot worse. I passingly wondered why this might be but did not really care enough to think too deeply on it. Germany gets more sun and they appear to have a much higher level of salt in their diets there. Other than that I have no theories whatsoever though.

Thelonious Monk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892500#Comment_121892500

wait what's wrong with jogging on the stop at traffic lights? i just did this while waiting to run across the samuel beckett bridge on my lunchtime jog 😯

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121892824#Comment_121892824

😀😀that was in jest

If you wear those jogging shoes that have individual toes though it's a different matter