Written Warning

Midlands Minnie

HI, my work involves dealing with hundreds of people face to face in any shift (I work nights) I have been an excellent employee and have been praised many times for my professionalism and personality. I have covered shifts at very short notice, worked all over Christmas during Covid (with no thanks) and will help out if asked. I also suffer with depression and anxiety. In late February I dealt with 4 traveller lads who gave me a 50 euro note and when I asked if they had anything smaller, they went mental on me and all 4 started videoing me. I completely lost it and honestly cannot remember half the things I said but they goaded and made fun of me and laughed the entire time at me getting more and more agitated. in the end I told them to Eff off. As they were leaving they said See you on Insta! I immediately burst into tears. How I acted was not me and I honestly cant understand why it went the way it did. I was called into a meeting and I immediately admitted everything as my manger was fuming after viewing the video of the interaction. (the lads did not ring in to complain). I said do what you have to do whether it be a warning on my file but they insisted on an investigatory meeting then disciplinary meeting after. This one interaction out of tens of thousands of customers I deal with has given me a formal written warning on my file for 12 months. Yes, I absolutely admitted that the whole transaction went wrong and it was my fault and nothing was said about the attitude and behavior of those lads either. But the job I am covering for ends in February next year and I was hoping to apply for it. I asked HR about this and they wouldn't give me a straight answer if the warning would affect my chances. I love my job but its management and staff are toxic and to be fair its an awful place to work (see a previous post) I am 56 and although I am applying for other positions no one will hire me because of my age. I am just asking is this warning fair and could I ask for it to be on file for 6 months instead of 12? Please no nasty comments, I already feel absolutely horrible about the whole thing and am mortified. My mental health took a severe hit meaning I had to take time off away from work as I got as low as low could get. Given my excellent record I dont think 12 months is warranted, I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you for reading.

LambshankRedemption

How can you say you love your job if it caused that kind of out of character outburst, caused you to be off work and caused you to feel very low?

Then you say management and staff are toxic. Why would you even consider continuing there??

Asking for it to be on your file for 6 months instead of 12 is pointless. HR policy is HR policy.

You say no-one will hire you because you are 56. I doubt that. You are looking in the wrong places. Lots of places prefer maturity and experience over youthfulness.

There are signs up allover the place saying "staff needed".

I'm sure you could walk into a bar manager or similar type role.

Flinty997

If it were me I'd be putting my energy into getting a different job. Even transferring to another team. Because that manager does not have your back.

It sounds like your burnt out and that incident was the straw that broke the camels back.

3DataModem

To answer your question, under the circumstances I think a 12m timeline is fair. You've not told us what you said, but you have told us they were travellers, so presumably that factored into your comments. In that case the company has to be very careful as it can fall afoul of discrimination laws; i.e. someone could assert that you didn't just yell at a customer you yelled at the customer because they were a traveller. So they need to take action and be seen to take action.

We all have bad days, I feel for you. Good luck with whatever's next.

LambshankRedemption

I will echo what 3DataModem said and say an outburst followed by a f*ck off while you knew you were being recorded, the 12 months is fair, and you were lucky not to be fired on the spot.

Midlands Minnie

Hand on heart some of my favourite customers are travellers, l have great craic with them so them being travellers had nothing to do with what happened. It was their attitude and delight in making me as uncomfortable as possible all the while filming me.

Jim2007

Nobody including HR can tell you for certain what the impact of your warning will be as it will very much depend on the hiring manager's perspective in 10 months time and by then it might even be a different manager and their may even be other candidates under consideration at that time. You can't change the past, so all you can do at this stage is to work on improving you reputation with management going forward.

Since none of us saw the video etc… it is hard to say if the 12 months were warranted or not. But I do wonder why you felt it necessary to tell us they were Travellers - you could have had such an interaction with any group of young lads and if that was reflected in your interaction with them, then that could well be an issue concerning your future prospect with the company.

Wanderer2010

It sounds like this job is impacting you in more ways than you admit. You mention anxiety and depression. Are you getting any help for this? Have you visited a GP or tried a few counsellors to get to the root of the issue? Even if you haven't, there are so many things like exercise, learning a new skill, restful sleep, balanced diet, social connections that can really improve your mental health such that these horrible interactions won't have as much an effect on your reactions.

As mentioned above this interaction was probably the straw that broke the camels back, and all of your "good" work up to that point was just your way of coping with personal problems until inevitably something made you snap. I say good as a quote because it sounds from this post and from how management have treated you in the past that they don't care about you or your work. I don't say that to be cruel. If it's a toxic workplace then they don't care about anyone. But you expecting thanks for covering shifts that you clearly didn't want to do shows a disconnect between your job and your assertiveness. They likely see you as a safe pair of hands who will do the job with no complaints. They would have fired you if you weren't a good worker. But you need to wake up to the reality of workplaces.

Most managers don't care as long as you get the work done and if you can speak up for yourself and set boundaries such as I'm.not free this weekend, I can't do all that work alone etc then the ball is in their court to manage workloads. That's what they get paid for! They may not like you personally but if you show some self respect they will pick up on that or it could be the catalyst to make you take action and look around for another job. Age isn't as big an issue as you think. I know lots of people late 50s and 60s who had a complete career change. Research some good career counselling and bring all your skills to the table. You may have to be flexible but I guarantee there is something out there for you.

I cant emphasise enough OP to look after your own mental and physical health first. A job is just a job. Money and if you are extremely lucky a few friends. But you are only a number to them and if they closed down tomorrow the world keeps turning. Don't forget the graveyards are full of "irreplaceable" workers!

Take a week or two off to recharge and explore your options and try to improve your mental health. I wish you all the best.

Calahonda52

HR exist for the good of the firm, especially with all the new regs: they don't give a …. about you.

Look after your MH

5 rules I was advised to apply post cancer surgery

1: eat well

2: exercise well

3: sleep well, unaided, and do more of 2 if required to make it unaided.

4: be a contribution, however small, each and every day: family/friends/community/ work/ whatever

5: only interact with people that have a positive impact on your well being/ ignore social media/ control what you read and listen to

{ I don't watch or listen to the "news" anymore and I have no social media accounts: none]

Rinse and repeat every day

Keep well

Princess Calla

Where was management and security while all this was kicking off?

Your employer has a duty of care to a safe work place.

I personally wouldn't feel safe if 4 guys started shouting at me regardless of their background.

Easy for me to say sitting at home, but I probably would have stopped serving once they started to record me and walked away.

Hindsight n all that.

I don't think I would have accepted a written warning without questioning where my "back up" was. Either from management/security or other staff members. No one should be left on the own dealing with abusive members of the public.

Yes you were in the wrong cursing but I can't help feeling you've been used as a scapegoat to cover up bad management.

Again easy for me to say , but look for another job

bucketybuck

If you are concerned that the warning will affect your chances of getting the role full time, then lets be honest, it doesn't matter whether it is 6 months or 12 months, the decision makers will know about the incident either way.

It may influence their decision or they may see it as a once off, but thats going to happen regardless of what is in the official "file". If they know about the incident then it isn't going to erase from their memory after 6 months.

So why spend energy fighting for something that is pretty meaningless.

The time off will hurt you far more than the formal warning ever would.