Feel im not in his league

rowantree18

Comments on make up etc and derogatory names for his ex partner - red flags. Run.

extra-ordinary_

You sound out of practice OP and are dazzled by this guy's good looks. Look a bit deeper, he's a mess and most likely a player with a string of failed relationships behind and all around him. He's playing you now. "Not much experience with women"?…ahh…the poor lamb…lol

marilynrr

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122162320#Comment_122162320

Disagree.

If there's this many red flags so early on then she should run fast.

It doesn't take long for some people to catch feelings and feelings can make people stupid and stay in relationships that are toxic.

Wezz

OP with the greatest of respect, I feel you are making a huge mistake here. You have mentioned a few things now that are concerning - the makeup comment, the references to his "slut" ex, showing you photos of his ex and other women, the love bombing with gifts…..

You stated you have very little experience of being treated well in relationships and feel almost grateful that a good looking guy has chosen you. That immediately puts you on the backfoot in terms of this being a level playing field. What's standing out to me is the negative way you talk about yourself, your self esteem is so low you are probably going to always find yourself in relationships where you put your needs second to your partner, where you excuse bad behaviour and where you ultimately end up getting hurt again.

I think you should listen to the sound advice here, end things with this man and give yourself a break from the apps, focus on building your self esteem up a bit before trying again.

Idbatterim

A key question, have you slept together. If yes and he is still around, it sounds like a headmelt amy way. If no, dont be surprised if he dies a hit it and run or just wants to keeo it casual BUT from the sounds of it, I think you may fall for him and not get what you want out of it..

sabrina1979

NNo i havent slept with him but everytime we mert he talks alot abot his ex and how he hates her because she left him for another man.......i think everyone is right im not excited seeing him anymore only axious and worried if i sleep with him he be gone anyway so todsy ill end this

Jafin

Hi OP,

I'm late to the party it seems but I agree with what most people have been telling you. He does not sound like a good man whatsoever and I hope you have ended it. He would only hurt you in the long run, there is no good outcome for any kind of relationship with this man. Hope you're doing alright.

sabrina1979

TThank u everone yes when i told him how i felthe wasent showing much interest he said sorry u feel that way i understand ur looking for more and then that was it.....it was me texting first me arranging dates etc there was no excitement from him at all and left me feeling terrible after r dates id cry once home knowing something on his part was off almost like he wasnt interested i know he has alot going om eith his ex etc but i feel i should be his distraction and for him to forget his worries but i felt i was just in the way

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122191233#Comment_122191233

Well done for calling it now and ending things. And make sure you don’t engage if he comes looking again next time he is bored, fool me once etc.

marilynrr

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122191233#Comment_122191233

He doesn't have 'a lot going on with his ex' so don't use that as as an explanation for him.

He went through a break up (who hasn't?) and it was 3 years ago.

All that's 'going on' there is there is that he has unresolved anger and it doesn't sound like he's over her. If he hasn't learned to deal with that and process that in a healthy way then he shouldn't be dating. For someone who doesn't want drama he sure seems to hold onto it and not seem able to let go doesn't he? Sounds like the access for his child is sorted, they only communicate over email, so the only thing going on with his ex is his feelings and the drama he's creating by bitching about her all the time.

Why would you even want to be used as a distraction when he has all those feelings towards his ex? As soon as the distraction is over he goes back to thinking about her again.

In future if you cry after dates then don't keep dating that man.

Well done for ending it! And I agree with @YellowLead don't engage if he gets back in touch with you (personally I'd block). He's not going to be over this ex and all of his drama in a week or a month or even a year I would imagine.