Walked out of shop without paying, guards called.

mentalload123

Hi, I just had go reach out to you for some help. I had the most horrific experience this morning. I had an appointment with a consultant at 10.30 and said I’d head across to Wilton to get a sun hat as I had none with me. Anyway I had like about 100 things going on in my head (3 kids, one awaiting autism assessment ) had a horrendous toothache which was contributing to a migraine too.
While in penny’s I threw clothes into the trolley in a bag, I often just throw things into the trolley, (can’t use those baskets as I have back troubles) anyway time was ticking away and I realised I would be late so rushed to the tills. While I was there I was chatting to the manager while waiting on line and got all distracted, just paid for the sun hat and other small things. I left the store and was putting the bags in the car when 2 security guys came after me. I was so shocked. I walked out without paying. The total cost came to 110e, like I can’t understand how I could not remember to pay and I just walked out having paid for the hat. Ok I was rushing I had 5 minutes left before my appointment so I was racing and distracted. From reflecting none stop since I got home I think I put another bag onto the bag with the clothes in it, so my hat wouldn’t flatten as I needed to wear it following my skin treatment appointment that I was having at 10.30. The security said this was concealment. I’m absolutely devastated and have been racking my brain as to how it all unfolded. I’m under serious mental stress with a huge mental load. I’m obviously not coping with the endless things to do on my mind. I’m absolutely heartbroken. The guards were called, has this ever happened to anyone you know. I’m just looking to see I’m not a complete psycho who walks around not remembering half the conversations I have with people or sometimes I can’t even remember driving to a place, it’s like auto pilot. ( obviously I’m not dangerous driving) but it’s like my mind is else where. I can’t stop crying all day.

What bugs me is I pride myself on being an A type personality who wouldn’t even think about breaking rules. My in-laws call me safey safe. I’m so frightened to go into another store now, I know it sounds stupid.

When I wrote down some reflections when I came home to try and piece together everything, I remembered something similar happened 2 years ago. My uncle was sick in cuh and when I was in boots I got a call to say come over he hasn’t long left, I was so shocked I just walked out with something that was in my hand but luckily I realised it before walking out of the shopping centre and went back to pay. I feel like what the hell is wrong with me.

garyskeepers

It sounds like a one off case (even thought it was similar to something a couple of years ago). We all make mistakes and this sounds like a genuine one.

Do you think it went far enough for it to go to court? or was the guards and the shop happy with the explanation?

Just go easy on yourself and accept it for what it is, a mistake.

mentalload123

Also wish pennys had those security tags, I would have buzzed obviously and would have noticed that I didn’t pay for the clothes. This is my own fault I know, has anyone ever been so overwhelmed and felt like they’re drowning and put on a brave face for everyone?

Last time I was at my gp she wanted to up my anxiety meds. I should have listened, I have PTSD and generalised anxiety disorder.

mentalload123

thanks Gary, I really appreciate your comment, the Gaurds said they understood but they see things like this a couple of times a day. I just got like a warning and I had to sign something, I don’t even remember what it’s called I was so overwhelmed, if it happens again I’ll be prosecuted, like even typing that is insane.

Big Bag of Chips

It sounds like you got away with an adult caution. That's probably what you signed. You won't be prosecuted. But the store will remember you and will be watching you.

If you think you are susceptible to not paying attention due to other stresses it might be better to have someone with you when you go shopping, or before you get to the till get into the habit of doing a quick check of yourself, arms, bags, pockets, buggy etc to make sure you've declared everything.

Dht

so just to clarify …you went from nipping into Penneys to buy a sun hat to throwing stuff worth €110 into a bag in your trolley?

mentalload123

I don’t normally get so stressed to that degree, I was thinking of a lot of things and I got distracted. Like I would have known when I got home that I didn’t pay and obviously would have returned. I was just so stressed coz I was so late for my appointment, with my migraine and toothache. I just was not thinking clearly. All my own fault. That’s what he called it I think an adult caution.

mentalload123

Yes I had 30mins to spare initially, and while there I said I’ll look for a few bits, as I hadn’t been to pennys in months, but I obviously took too long browsing because next thing I realised I’m at the till will like 8 minutes left to get to my consultant appointment over in the private rooms. It’s shocking even I know from your tone you have your doubts, like I meant it. That’s what I’m so upset about I wouldn’t never, I’m a normal person who has a profession although out on career break for minding my children, married, paying a mortgage etc. I had the money to pay. I even showed the Gaurds, then I saw some stuff on here about people having an addiction to stealing even though they are well off, they probably assumed maybe I was like that?? I don’t know I’m in a deep depression over it. Ita just insane to me that I didn’t click on, like I’m sitting there and my runners coat almost 600e and my bag was 1000e, why would I steal 100e from pennys!!! It’s crazy I just wish I could turn back time .I would have been just as skeptical if I was reading my post too.

mentalload123

don’t mean to sound like a **** about the cost of my runners and bag, just wanted to let you know that I have the money, I know it’s tight for everyone these days of course I do, but I had plenty available to pay. Sure anything I went to pennys my bill would always be in the 150e/200e mark, you would be just flinging things in co they are so cheap.

Ozvaldo

It happened it's over you ain't the first you won't be the last to do this-what you need to do now is move on from it without keep going round and round looking for answers when there aint any.Give yourself a break now and try and forget abt it you won't get anywhere with the questions.

mentalload123

also I contacted mind mommy coaching last night. It was a big wake up all that I’m just not managing with so much on my mind. They deal with the massive mental load on woman. Like it’s happening so much to me, getting just overwhelmed thinking of the endless lists I have to do. I’m not working on a career break currently and I find the mental load insane since being a stay at home mom.

As I said sometimes I can’t remember full conversations I’m having with people, almost like my brain isn’t matching up to my body.

mentalload123

thank you. I know it’s over I wish I could change it but I can’t, I’m not the type of person who can just move on so easily After something of this magnitude. The shame is all consuming. And I just have so many questions to how it all unfolded.

Ozvaldo

Theres no answers -and you can go to all the resources out there but there isn't any.You got a caution forget it

SharkMX

Could happen to anyone. We went to restaurant for lunch and left without paying. We were back at the office an hour later before we realized we hadnt paid. I went back down to pay and the girl said we saw you leaving and figured you had forgotten and we would see you next week anyway and let you know.

Was all very amicable in the end, but i can see how it happens.

Also happened in Decathalon a few weeks ago. Those boxes you drop all the stuff into and it scans the tags or something. Well it didnt pick up one tag or whatever happened because i dropped everything in there and paid.

Walking out the door the beepers went off. Showed the security guard the receipt and he checked the bad and found a bicycle tyre that wasnt on the receipt. He sent me to the desk to pay for it. If this can happen to me it can happen to anyone so im sure its not the only case of that ever happening and they are used to it,

mentalload123

thank you and I would say the same in your situation. I do understand this happens innocently and maybe if I was allowed back into the store to pay and walk out again I wouldn’t feel so bad. The Gaurds coming just made everything so much worse. I’ve never had any dealings with Gaurds and always felt to be on the side of the law so to sit there and be cautioned by one was horrendous.

Big Bag of Chips

Well if this served as anything it will help to focus your mind when you go into a shop. I know you say you were distracted and have a lot on your mind but this incident has hit home to you. You will not want a repeat.

If you find yourself doing the same thing again, completely forgetting you've actually picked up over €100 worth of stuff rather than a €5 hat, then you will know it is time to go to your doctor and have a chat. A referral to a specialist might be required if you continue to be distracted and forgetful.

mentalload123

Totally hit home, I’m already under the care of my gp and previously a psychiatrist for PTSD. My gp had recommended that I increased my medication and wasn’t very happy with me when I was with her 4 weeks ago. I have made an appointment to see her next week, and I have made a counselling appointment for mothers struggling with the mental load. Hoping between all them I should improve. I also forgot my son had a half day on Thursday. The school rang as he was the only one not collected. I have been looking back to the last few weeks and there’s been a couple of instances like this so obviously my gp was right to suggest increasing my meds and she also said I should contact my psychiatrist again. It’s just been an eye opener for me that I’m not coping with all the stress.

poppers

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122171368#Comment_122171368

it was hardly 1-2 small items either €110 in pennys would buy a lot of stuff.

Juwwi

You made a mistake OP , nobody is perfect we all make mistakes , go easy on yourself .

book an appointment with your gp and discuss the situation with her about your medication .

also ignore the posters nit picking about how many items add up to €110 , there's weirdos all over this site with nothing else to do than wind people up .

mentalload123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122181033#Comment_122181033

Thanks so much for your kind words, to be honest I would have being skeptical myself if I had been reading the post too.

I was just speaking with a friend, it was good to talk about it, as she knows my character well and knows this isn’t something I would do intentionally. We spoke about the mental load on women and all the juggling we are doing.
I’m now noting down any forgetfulness and distractions just to be safe as I’m quite concerned. Also she suggested it could be to do with menopause too.

mentalload123

so I had a horrible situation occur to me, all my own fault, left a store without paying. It was a very traumatic event, and a huge eye opener as to how I’m not managing stress very well. I’ve come up with a few solutions for shopping now. Not bringing my own bags, packing the items at the car side, doing a mental check at the till, not going to a shop when I’m short on time etc. It’s still very fresh and I’m still coming to terms with what happened.
Anyway just had to go to the local garage for some baking flour and there is a security guard there, I felt he was looking at me. Is there like a database with my face on it somewhere or am I just paranoid? I’ve never taken any notice of security Gaurds previously but I’m so anxious now.

Shield

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122194337#Comment_122194337

Moderator post:

I have merged the discussion you started in Feedback with this discussion as it does not require its own thread, so please keep discussion about this issue to here and only here.

Thanks.

-Shield