Pregnant ex

irishmankiid

Hi I’m just looking for some advice, my ex girlfriend and I split up about 4 months ago I know she is 5 months pregnant through friends, she believes me to be somewhat of a narcissist I believe our relationship was just toxic due to her controlling nature which led to me becoming resentful and disrespecting the relationship which eventually led to a the relationship breakdown. I sent some messages after the breakup which I do regret the usuals “I can’t live without you” “the one for you never leaves” and that I’d call to her house to fix it and I wasn’t worried about the police. After about a week I left it alone the damage had been done I gave her a ring during the relationship which I attached sentimental meaning too and emailed maybe a month later to post it as we had agreed and she got someone to give it into my workplace (childish on both our behalf’s I know)Since the breakup I’ve started the gym therapy and a new job, when I heard she was pregnant I sent her an email basically saying I was aware and that I would like to be involved in the child’s life and that I would be seeking legal advice she did not respond. I’m just confused as where to go next as the child is unborn I’m not sure if you have any rights this being the case until the actual birth anyone able to help me out? I am of the belief because my counsellor said im a people pleaser and I believe her to be too we just got so caught up in trying to please the other we just forgot our own needs really she obviously wants nothing to do with me which I respect that’s anyones right and I have not contacted her since. There was no physical, sexual, I don’t even think verbal abuse I can’t remember raising my voice in the year and a half we were together all the fights were over text does anyone have any advice/have you been through a similar situation?

I have no previous convictions and a steady job

volchitsa

Sorry no legal advice but I do have a question:

Why are you sure the baby is yours?

( I mean: presumably the relationship was rocky before you split up 4 months ago- or did you spring the split on her without warning?)

irishmankiid

timeline makes sense we were in a relationship at the time she broke up with me (believing I’m a narcissist)

Pauliedragon

Your better off in the personal forum OP here https://www.boards.ie/categories/personal-issues?utm_source=sidebar_categories

Before it gets moved the 2 of ye now have to put ye're differences to the side in the best interests of the child. It seems both of ye are quite stubborn. You found out she was pregnant and the first thing you did was get legal advice and told her that. Doing that comes across as confrontational straight away and the fact she didn't tell you suggests the two of ye have a long way to go when it comes to an amicale way to deal with this situation. Best of luck OP it's seems a long road ahead of you all the best.

irishmankiid

thanks Paulie I did contact her before this just asking was the child mine with no threat of legal action sorry I never put that in the post