When someone tells a story you don't believe

jj880

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122279603#Comment_122279603

They start young too. I had a lad tell me his uncle was president of Bolivia. We were about 9 years old. That was just the start of it.

martingriff

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122265492#Comment_122265492

Stories like that I call embellished either by the story having been told many times or trying to make it sound better

martingriff

Sure wasn't all of ireland in Stuttgart and Giants stadium to watch Houghtan stick the ball in the English net

RoboRat

I guess you have to ask yourself if it's worth pointing out and what do you hope to achieve by pointing it out. If someone is blatantly spouting lies with a view to stirring things up, I will call their BS out. If they're embellishing a story, or making one up but it's harmless, then I wouldn't bother.

If, for example, he had named the teacher, or gave some information that could be used to identify members of staff, or the teacher, that's wrong and should be called out unless he can prove it.

Everyone lies, anyone who tells you otherwise is lying! IMO it boils down to what happens because of that lie, or if there was a specific intention behind the lie.

If it's just an auld lad down the boozer telling fairy tales, you would probably end up looking bad for calling him out. Most people know it's BS, but they play along because it's harmless. If you call him out, it's basically telling them they're all fools for believing, and that you're smarter for spotting the lie. Don't assume that everyone else can't spot the lie, they probably can, but just aren't bothered to say anything.

HazeDoll

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122279403#Comment_122279403

I've had that thought too, about whether they just assume everything I'm saying is a lie too. I think there's something in it.

I wonder if others would agree that the following are some shared features of the chronically mendacious:

1. Intelligent and articulate.
2. Underachieved in life, in terms of career, academic success, talent - just not reaching obvious potential.
3. Very wide circle of friends, largely superficial.
4. Has two modes: gregarious entertainer or dark mood tyrant
5. Convincingly knowledgeable about military matters or combat.
6. Suffers from mystery ailments or has an 'old injury' that nobody remembers happening.
7. An array of allergies and sensitivities that can be very unpredictable.
8. Claims to have brushes with, or insider knowledge of:
   1. Criminals and the criminal underworld
   2. Celebrities or pop culture.

I'm not really thinking about people who lie to achieve something, I mean those who tell pointless stupid lies for no reason, often but not always self-aggrandising.

tohaltuwi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122267915#Comment_122267915

Is this the comedy thread? 🤣

tohaltuwi

When I was a kid in the 60s, I grew up in an ordinary Catholic household as was the norm then, certainly not over-zealous, and my mother would bend the rules a bit and was always very compassionate. My mother, as most parents did then, wished that I believe in a God, a higher power to call upon in times of need too.

She begged my father not to do the pretence of Santa Claus at Christmas, (that presents would be from them and not a mythical figure) her idea being that if they lied over Santa, then I would lose trust in the existence of God. My Dad was looking forward to doing Santa and didn’t want me being an outlier and going around telling all the neighbours children Santa didn’t exist 😁 He got his way and I got most presents I asked for, within reason.

tohaltuwi

Lying is trying to persuade that something is a fact when it’s not, most especially when it’s the opposite to that fact.

Could be, as other posters say, to self-aggrandise, which can range from relatively harmless to being downright untrustworthy, depending on the claim made, from mild exaggeration to complete alteration of facts.

Could be the opposite of self-aggrandisement if it’s self-chastisement and this has its own range of social pathology.

Could be in an effort to prevent a situation from getting worse. An interesting example I heard many years ago on the radio were interviews with people genuinely suffering cancer being interviewed, and whose treatment was being delayed by waiting lists & queues (plus ça change). These individuals were, not surprisingly, terrified a delay or hiatus in treatment would lead to their death. One of them I recall distinctly as he expressed his guilt over turning up in an ambulance pretending he had become acutely unwell “to get back into the line of treatment” as he hoped would happen.

When people are really really up against it, fighting the good fight, it is very easy to fall into the position of lying to get out of what seems could be a deadly situation. We all have that survival instinct to some extent.

Woodcutting

He's dead now but there was this man used to tell the most amazing stories of how he was a prisoner of war in some country - he wasn't - and showed me a mark on his wrist he said was from the chains holding him. He used to tell them to my father too, unfortunately I can't remember most of them. He was a complete spoofer. He was very entertaining though.

One of his stories was of when you had to get an operator to call the UK from a payphone. He called his daughter and played the flute over the phone. He said all of the telecom operatiors in Ireland stopped work to listen to his performance, even the 999 staff wouldn't answer emergency calls because they were listening to his playing. Complete Walter Mitty I think he believed it himself.

He was a great laugh to have a drink with though.I was in the snug of a pub with him the night of the prisoner of war story He wasn't boastful just totally caught up in his reality. Pity I can't remember any more stories.

Woodcutting

A friend of a friend has bipolar so it's part of the condition. But in all his stories of who he met when in the USA it's all CEOs, Presidents of companies, top political people that he went to dinner with. He never speaks of going to dinner or even meeting any ordinary person. And he is not a big business man or rich

tohaltuwi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122281183#Comment_122281183

it is alleged this is an on and off induction in which theoretically you become mostly normal between episodes, but in effect it is a varying cl xjfikn where someone may me psychotic pretty long term.

Woodcutting

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122281200#Comment_122281200

I know what bipolar is. I don't need your lectures of how you know everything about everything using big words to impress. I probably know much more than you about bipolar but have no need to boast

SupaCat95

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122266177#Comment_122266177

Not necessarily 60s but late as 48 (1992) could still be an early Junior cert. The way it was described to us back then as the second class to sit the exam, we thought we were landing on the moon.

SupaCat95

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122266878#Comment_122266878

LLol. I actually knew a guy at school, complete loser who did have a ticket. At the time it was a big news for 15 year old but this lad was fuming because the concert was cancelled not only that but the bus was non refundable but he got his ticket refunded. Now he wishes he had his ticket. From where we were at the time we knew the band was in trouble but couldnt see how it was going to turn out.

smurfjed

>…..

redoctober

Very interesting topic. I've had experience with a few guys I've met doing this. The first one was in college in England. This guy was a bit billy-no-mates and actually a fairly decent guy. But he had this habit of making up stories that he knew and we knew didn't happen. One that sticks in my mind was when he tried to make a story that happened to us all as a group which he was privy to, sound like it happened to him. Basically all of us were sitting around smoking late at night watching the landscape channel after a mad night out. He tried to sell this story back to me as "me and a big group of my mates, right, we were all really stoned and were up late watching the landscape channel". He had to know that I would see through this as he didn't really have any friends.

Another guy I knew was an eccentric farmer who had lived a bit of a loner life in a rural area. He used to talk about how he farmed in England and once had a thousand sheep somewhere (he had a very small farm in Ireland). Also, he had an old van/land rover or something and he claimed to have driven all over the continent and it had a million miles on it!! This sounded preposterous as to my knowledge he'd never been out of the country much.

The last one I came across was an ex-boss who was a bit of a narcissist and a bully. When he first started in the job he seemed to want to big himself up a lot and used to tell lots of outlandish stories. Anything anybody mentioned around the lunch table was a jumping off point for another boring story where the same thing happened to him/his family/his friend bla bla. One that sticks in my mind is where he said a friend of his was so drunk that he sat on top of a lit stove and burned his a*se cheeks!! Like seriously, who would be stupid enough to do that? Also, he had lots of stories of how he broke bones playing sports -he mustn't have had any unbroken bones left with the amount of stories he told. He also would come into work limping at times basically as a way of getting attention. When asked he would have picked up an injury playing sport at the weekend. Was like dealing with a surly 5 year old!

Woodcutting

There was a fella who used to boast about all the land he had in x area 30 miles from where he lived. He had to rent a home from a voluntary housing body.

He also said he had a hole in the back of his head and you could look into it.

Woodcutting

The narcissists are the worst. Been everywhere. Met everyone famous. Did everything. And know everything and love showing off big words they don't understand. A fella on reddit used to talk of medication given "off label". He couldn't say medication that wasn't approved for the condition. Picking up phrases from his friends who were doctors

I see a lot of that on reddit people know a little more than most about a subject but have to use big words and jargon to try to build up their image.

The guy they say shot JFK was a bit like that. He would read up on some subject then engage someone in a different field about the subject and say he is stupid because he didn't know about it

Suit of Wolves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122279269#Comment_122279269

So by telling you they think others are gullible, they are admitting they are liars? So some of your friends / in-laws have actually admitted to being bullshitters. Do they just leave such things slip when drunk, or exactly does it happen?

jj880

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122283672#Comment_122283672

They think they are so convincing that no-one knows any different. Ive no doubt after I dont pull them up on a tall tale they'll be telling someone else I believe their stories.

This is their carry on. If you call them on it they will say "ah sure it was only a bit of craic I wasn't serious" as if you're ruining the banter. If you dont call them on it they'll get a thrill out of thinking you believed something made up. They are a minority of people I know but like I said. Cretins. I just avoid them now. Minimal time spent in their company.

BrianD3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122283721#Comment_122283721

Cretins is right, probably bullies and manipulators too. People don't like someone deliberately trying to make a fool of them, they'll remember it and be wary of that person who will soon find themselves without any allies let alone friends.

i find that these types are very different to the Walters with their fantastic military adventures. There is usually little to no malice with Walters.

Woodcutting

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122283885#Comment_122283885

True, the man with his prisoner of war story was pretty harmless no malice. He was gas though.

There was a teacher in my school who regularly liked to tell everyone the story of how he won an Olympic gold medal for pole-vaulting over the Berlin Wall. That was just the start of his tall tales.

pgj2015

I remember a guy at work, he would have been in his 50s, a bit harmless. He was telling us he was going to Spain with this local woman who was around 22, very good looking woman. anyway after we came back from holidays, we asked him how the holiday went. he said they didn't go because he lost his passport. 😂

another guy was always telling these crazy stories about celebrities he met, being a spy for mI5 etc and if you mentioned say a Lamborghini, he would say he drove one. so one time I said something about a helicopter to see if he would say he flew one, but he didnt which really surprised me, and I asked him if he ever flew one, he said no, maybe he thought he had told enough tall tales that day.