How common are work faps?

SharkMX · 26-06-2024 4:04pm

I used to work with a lad who would say "Im going for a danger **** in the jacks." Keep a look out.

Mister Vain · 26-06-2024 4:24pm

There are obviously plenty of people with cushy jobs if they have time to be shaking hands with the one eyed milkman.

Bobson Dugnutt · 26-06-2024 4:31pm

Listen, if it was compulsive acts of workplace onanism then it would point to a more serious underlying issue. There’s a demographic on boards which is made up of total dorks who are addicted to porn. You can see lads like that having an issue with it.

CorneliusBrown · 26-06-2024 5:46pm

hi guys, I seem unable to post a new thread but I have a question. Is it normal to have a freckle on your penis? And if so, how many of the men here have one?

DialecticAspirations · 26-06-2024 5:57pm

I guess if it doesn't do any harm, maybe it's ok.

But what about the next guy who has to use the urinal?

Baasterd · 26-06-2024 10:22pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122304006#Comment_122304006

Sadly the days of Tracey from accounts or your new secretary taking care of things are long gone I think…

Baasterd · 26-06-2024 10:25pm

Montage of Feck · 26-06-2024 10:29pm

There a place and time for everything! The manky work jacks is the last place that would put me in the mood for it.

Juza1973 · 26-06-2024 10:41pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122307219#Comment_122307219

Ask a doctor, I have no clue. It's not on mine.

BrianD3 · 26-06-2024 11:10pm

You'd wonder if workplace fappers are fapping about work colleagues in work. I'd say that you'd get a good emptying of the seminal vesicles from doing that. Imagine having a flirty conversation with Deirdre the hot receptionist, heading off to the jax and returning to chat to D a few minutes later with your dirty secret and a slight odour of bleach off you.

All sort of filthy perves in offices anyway. Seat sniffers, sanitary bin enthusiasts etc.

Baba Yaga · 27-06-2024 12:47pm

as an experiment and to take one for the team as it were,spent a few hours earlier in work chatting up the good looking girl in the canteen,the super hot cleaner thats in today and the girl on reception with the huge airbags…went to the quiet jacks on the top floor…used the old,very imaginative imagination and….nothing…smell wasnt great,the remains of a skidmark in the pot,doors banging and then some lad came in to have an 'emergency dump'…so in conclusion id say youd want to have been starved for about three years and a severe case of blue balls to even half think about having a tommy tank in work…

greenspurs · 27-06-2024 2:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122309756#Comment_122309756

Some amount of 'comedians' around Boards these days …… 😴

is there no "Comedy Club" thread ??

Potential-Monke · 27-06-2024 3:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122309756#Comment_122309756

Work nights for a company that has nobody else working nights. Added benefit of being the first to use the jacks after the evening cleaning so a lovely fresh chemical smell to get one in the mood, no worries of previous tenants skidmarks, and guaranteed no interruption. It's like the situation is telling that one can if one wants.

I also get the feeling that some people think the conclusion of a wahnk is that picture of randy from South Park. No mess if one is even the smallest bit careful, and it's only 1.5-5ml on average so not exactly a gushing flow one needs to stop. Be wary of lads drinking hapes of coconut water!

BrianD3 · 27-06-2024 5:59pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122310629#Comment_122310629

If someone has reached the desperation stage of fapping in an average work toilet in the presence of other men's stink and skidmarks, they're likely horny as hell with seminal vesicles engorged to the max. Result would be a bigger, gloopier load. Not South Park levels of mess but there may be an animalistic, territory marking instinct for a workplace fapper to spooge everywhere and not clean it up. Animals.

Bobson Dugnutt · 27-06-2024 6:04pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122310213#Comment_122310213

Sounds like you could do with a session with Palm and her 5 friends, dude.

BaywatchHQ · 27-06-2024 6:29pm

I used to at school as I had a teacher fetish but never at any job as all jobs I've had were sausage fests so never felt the temptation to.

Lewis_Benson · 27-06-2024 6:44pm

I'd say it's "Rampant" in the Civil Service. God knows they do fook all work so would have plenty of time for Extra Curricular "Activities".

Yep, your tax Euros are paying for their fap time.

EmmetSpiceland · 27-06-2024 7:06pm

I worked in a place where they called a lad ‘Joey the Grips’, a play on the character from Roddy Doyle’s ‘The Commitments’. His name was, actually, Joseph and they told him the nickname was because he always had “such a good grip of things”.

The real reason was because, at least, once a day Joey would return from the toilets red-faced with just his right sleeve rolled up and he’d be slightly out of breath. He was definitely less cranky to deal with after his return.

Will Graham · 27-06-2024 7:14pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122302558#Comment_122302558

In the movie Shame, Fassbender's character demonstrated that it is indeed possible to masturbate regularly at work without getting caught.

CorneliusBrown · 27-06-2024 7:30pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122310213#Comment_122310213

hi, you never answered my pm about the freckle on the private part of your body?

silliussoddius · 27-06-2024 7:45pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122311440#Comment_122311440

Arm wrassling?

cheese sandwich · 27-06-2024 7:47pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122311475#Comment_122311475

I don’t think it was a documentary

Deebles McBeebles · 28-06-2024 10:35am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122307275#Comment_122307275

You can always give him a reacharound if you feel guilty.

Sgt Hartman · 28-06-2024 6:30pm

There’s a time and a place for that sort of thing but the workplace isn’t it. I’ve heard some stories about people in my workplace who were caught having a sneaky pedal n’ crank, including one oddball who was “sexting” his gf in the work changing room toilet cubicle, with accompanying moaning and slapping noises while there were other people changing outside. The last thing I’d want at work is to be known as the weirdo who jerks off 😅

corner of hells · 28-06-2024 10:00pm

Not a workplace fap but a building I worked in had a gym that opened at 6 am where a chef and waitress were caught in a cubicle by a security guard playing hide the sausage after their reflection could be seen after the floor had been polished by the cleaners.

Neither were disciplined because their union advised they doing it on their own time also the union also insisted the floor be changed in case anymore reflections were seen.