Separating- house in mine & my Father’s names

RAINE43

Hi everyone,

Your advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband & I are not in a good place. Our relationship has been toxic & I have received a lot of emotional abuse over a 13 year relationship. I just can’t do it anymore. We have been to couples counseling & he has gone to individual counseling but keeps returning to old patterns & behaviour.

I am worried about the kids & our home. We have a 3.5 year old & a 11.5 year old. The house I bought before we were married & my Dad is on the mortgage with me although he never made any of the repayments. My husband & are married for 10 years. He is not on the mortgage but pays for the mortgage & bills from his income. For most of our marriage I have worked part time due to us having kids & at present I haven’t worked since the end of 2019 as I was made redundant & then fell pregnant with our 2nd child. If we separate my OH will have to line here as we could not afford the mortgage & rent. I am planning now to look for a hoc part time as an accounts assistant & plan on doing a refresher course first so I have my own income & can contribute to the bills etc.

As the mortgage is myself & my Dad & there is 15 years left what will happen when it’s paid & the kids have grown up. Will I still need to but OH out so he can get his own place? I was hoping I could do this from inheritance later in life as horrible as it is having to think about parent’s passing. Allowing OH to live here until then eveb though it will be difficult. He is from Poland & his parents own a house over there. He has been living in Ireland for 16 years. I’m terrified about the future & losing my home. My husband has made our relationship very difficult & I feel trapped in a horrible situation. I do not want to lose our family home. I know as the main care giver to the kids we can stay here until they are 18 / 23 if in 3rd level education. After this I fear having to sell the house & split the money which means very little to buy somewhere else. It’s a nightmare. Any advice would be great.

Thank you

Henry Ford III

You are going to have to come to some sort of an agreement with your husband I think, or eventually you'll end up in court where a judge will do it for you. He/she will have to try and provide for all members of your household.

Your Dad's name on the deeds isn't overly important imho. He doesn't really own any of the house does he?

If there's any space on your site maybe you could jointly build a stand alone flat on it for him?

RAINE43

Thank you so much for your reply. I’ve checked & the house is in my sole name. My Dad is basically a guarantor & has no rights to the property.

As we are married my husband I think automatically owns half the house. He doesn’t know I am thinking of separation but at this stage I very much feel done. Hopefully we can come to an arrangement ourselves.

We have a converted garage with has a bathroom so this could be an option. It’s where the will agree.