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Helping cousin cope

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  • 23-07-2024 2:16pm
    #1
    cathodrays
    Registered Users Posts: 12 ✭


    My aunt passed away a three weeks ago and it's been sad for the family but particularly devastating for my mother and my cousin. My cousin has been affected badly and hasn't been able to eat and had to quit his part-time job because he started having panic attacks.

    He's going abroad to the States for a paid internship soon but is worried that he won't be able to go because he feels so much stress. Is there anything we can do as a family? He went to a therapist a week ago but felt it had little benefit.



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    #2
    HildaOgdenx
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 7,051 Mod ✭✭✭✭HildaOgdenx


    My condolences on your loss.

    In relation to your cousin, it sounds like this would not be the ideal time for him to go away. Is that something he could defer? Getting back into routine, and just doing the basics, day to day, making the effort to eat, getting out for a bit of fresh air every day, all the ordinary stuff, that is what is important. Plus he needs his network of support, I am sure.

    If I were you, I'd strongly urge him to see his GP, in relation to the feelings of stress and the panic attacks. Also let him know that you are there for him, if he wants to talk. Or just to sit in silence.

    In relation to therapy/ bereavement counselling, it may be that he is just not in the right headspace for it to help right now. It's something that can take time to be ready for, and work through, like any therapy, so he wouldn't really see much benefit from just one session, in my opinion.

    There are some useful tips in the attached. I hope that it helps.

    https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/life-situations-events/bereavement/coping-with-grief/#:~:text=Bereavement%20is%20the%20period%20of,the%20person%20who%20has%20died.



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    #3
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,048 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Your aunt passed 3 weeks ago. It's all still fresh and raw. In general bereavement counselling isn't recommended for about a year. Grief is completely normal. Not being able to think straight in the first few weeks, even months, is completely normal. Your cousin doesn't need counselling right now. I can't stress enough, she died 3 weeks ago. The best thing you can do for your mam and your cousin is just let them talk, and listen. Let them both know that everything they are feeling now is completely natural.

    Deferring the internship in the circumstances might be best.



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