At a fork in the road in life and conflicted over what to do

Stuck_In_Past

Hi All - I was hoping to just get opinions from folks who don't know me for the impartiality. I'm 32 and am single at the moment. 2 years ago I bought a place of my own and the jobs been going grand and is little stress. Where I live most of my network are settled with kids and after a long term relationship ended a few years ago I've little desire to rush into settling down.

I lived abroad years ago and a job opportunity has come up there through a friend for what would be a small move up immediately but the career prospects would be bigger than where I'm at now. I've interviewed for it and received a verbal offer and I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do. I've been yoyoing back and forth about it. On one hand my family's here and I'm lucky enough to be very secure and stable financially but on the other hand it's hard not to feel like a bit of an outsider and a bit bored and unchallenged. The job would be more challenging but sounds more like it'd pay off in the bigger picture.
If I'm being honest, the pull of family and the prospect of renting this place out are the biggest factors in me feeling a bit conflicted. My parents are getting older and the neices/nephews getting on too.

I realise I'm in a really lucky situation here but this opportunity feels like a chance at an adventure - I'm really looking for any opinions or perspective anyone might be able to offer to help?

JamBur

The job opportunity is abroad? How far? If I were in your shoes Id be off like a shot. I worked abroad in multiple locations when younger, and it was fantastic in every aspect. If you dont do it you'll be grand here, but I suspect youd always have a niggling regret.

Xterminator

i suggest you will regret not taking the opportunity for the rest of your life. (i would anyway).

If it doesn't work out you have a safety net to return to - i really think you should take the job that you say is more satisfyingly, and enjoy the doors it opens for you. You will get to deploy your sexy Irish accent abroad, and take full advantage of your good situation in life.

IMO there is only one decision to make here, and its likely that fear of change is holding you back.

LambshankRedemption

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122596561#Comment_122596561

I would echo these thoughts. I lived abroad for a few years, came back but plan to move again in a few years time.

How far away is the only question mark. With aging parents it would be better if you were not too far away.

Shoog

Since you have few ties at the moment then why not, who knows what opportunities it could open up.

As it is the only way your life will improve where you are is if you settle down with a partner and join the rest of your friends because that is the only way you will get real satisfaction out of your current situation.

Chris_5339762

Do it. Go. Re-evaluate after one or two years.

csirl

Nothing to lose by giving it a try. You could tell yourself you'll go for a year and then decide then if you'll stay longer or come home.

One option to avoid renting out your home is to do AirB&B instead. Unless you live somewhere real undesirable, 3-4 months of AirB&B will give you at least the same income as rental. You could ask a family member who's looking for a little extra income to manage the AirB&B locally and split the proceeds with then.

saintsaltynuts

Go for it If was in my early thirties again I'd be off like a switch.

yagan

So to recap you've done the abroad thing before so really it's just about a more interesting job and possibly expanding your horizons when most around you are getting settled.

When you say your parents are getting on are they actually needing assistance? I ask because if you can go now while they're generally independent then at least if you feel you have to you can return later.

I'd advise go now for yourself, and then return later for them later if that's where you feel you'd like to be when needed.

Once you step into that carers role that locks you in for possibly decades. I've done it with my own parents, and now with my wifes family. While it's great to look after them as they looked after you they would rather you be living your life to the full when you can.

Dano650

Go for it and give it a try. You might regret it if you don't

Stuck_In_Past

Thanks a million for the replies folks, didn't expect it to get a quick response with a landslide sentiment! It'd only be a 2 hour flight away in Europe to be fair rather than a days travel in another continent.

Really appreciate the perspective and it's a reality check seeing it spelled out plainly.

Sono

1 million percent take this job, you are still young with time on your side and no commitments where you are, as others have said, you will most likely regret it if you don't do the move, life is short, live it and most of all enjoy it.

yagan

2 hr flight away is no bother.

We were living in Oz when the mother in laws health started ailing so almost a day in the air each way on visits.

You got this champ.

AnnieinDundrum

2 hour flight? Not a problem. Sure that’s nearer than a lot of places in Ireland,

When your parents start getting frail you may need to re evaluate but I’d say take the chance now. You’re in a good position with a house here to let. Although that can be a minefield judging by the tales of woe here. Any adult family who might rent from you?

and your mention other family so you aren’t deserting them.

Is it worth asking your current employer for a 2 year career break? If you don’t ask you won’t get. You never know.

yagan

On letting your house I wouldn't commit to doing so until you've settled into your new place. You might change your mind after three months and want to return.

Stuck_In_Past

Hi Folks - Just wanted to provide an update here a week later. The comments here were really helpful and gave me a great perspective in realising that I need to take a chance over playing it safe. I think in hindsight I might have been making some excuses for the fear of change.
I'll never age backwards unfortunately so I've decided to make a go of it and accept the offer. The company were really accommodating too so are giving me a good bit of lead time to get things sorted on the ground here before re-locating.

I'll be letting family and everyone know once I sign the contract this week and to be honest I'm really excited. I think I needed the nudge here to go for it.

Thanks all again for your stories and experiences - I'm genuinely really grateful!

Cushtie

Fair play. Best of luck.