Is getting married still worth it nowadays?

watchclocker

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122653092#Comment_122653092

Jesus thats terrible I'm sorry for your loss and for your fight :(

Peregrinus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122655128#Comment_122655128

We don't really have "civil marriage" in this country; just marriage. We have civil weddings and we have religious weddings and we have humanist weddings, but they all lead to the same marriage.

But, yeah, there is nothing about a civil wedding that can guarantee the couple involved are, or will be, exclusiv, or conjugal. For that matter, there is nothing about a religious wedding or a humanist wedding to guarantee that either.

But the legal, social, adminsitrative etc status of marriage is designed to support a relationship that is exclusive and conjugal and, regardless of what kind of ceremony a couple chooses to inaugurate the status for themselves, it will involve making public, solemn, witnessed commitments that involve exclusivity and conjugality.

There's nothing to stop a couple who don't intend to be exclusive, or don't intend to be conjugal, from marrying. (Or, a couple may marry intending that but later decide it's not what they want.) Either way, they may find that the status they are taking on is not the best fit with the relationship they have, or want to have. And, of course, they may recognise that and still choose to take on the status; the legal incidents of marriage may not suit them perfectly, but still suit them better than not being married at all.

Nobody should marry without having given the question a good deal of thought. And, for a couple who don't intend exclusivity or conjugality or whose relationship doesn't fit the template in some other significant way have some extra things to think about. I wouldn't say they shouldn't marry, but they certainly shouldn't marry without thinking about those things.

89897

If you're considering marriage and dont see it as worth the hassle as divorces are expensive then you shouldnt be getting married and definitely shouldnt be committing to anyone. Where homeownership and kids are involved a breakup is just as messy as a divorce in terms of finances etc.

Wezz

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122654524#Comment_122654524

That's what I was thinking. We'll both be putting a lot of money into a house so it makes sense to protect that investment as much as we can.

yourdeadwright

Its a personal thing if you ask me, There is no right or wrong answer, Circumstance differ from couple to couple,

I'm glad i got married & would never regret it ,

yagan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122655638#Comment_122655638

Then there's also automatic power of attorney if one of you becomes very ill.

This could become very tricky in an unmarried situation where well meaning family can make an already difficult situation more complicated with legal challenges etc...

Kathnora

Aside from the financial and legal benefits I see marriage as a public statement of life long (hopefully!) commitment to each other. There's just an added security to it I think especially when there are children involved. It seals the relationship, puts it on a more permanent footing and sends out the message that this relationship is for life (hopefully, of course!)

Feline Groovy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122655127#Comment_122655127

Unless she's a piece of sh1t mother to the kids.

Aisling(",)

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122653929#Comment_122653929

I'm in a similar boat.8 years together and we bought our house 3.5 years ago.

For inheritance purposes you and your partner are considered strangers for tax purposes and if one of you die the other is liable to capital acquisitions tax(CAT) at 33% on everything over €16,250. There is an exemption for your home though called the dwelling house exemption. If you have resided in the property for 3 years before you inherit and plan on staying in it for 6 more years you can inherit it tax free. There's a few other conditions like you can't own another property etc. We always joked that after 3 years one of us would have a suspicious accident.

You can name her as your next of kin in your will but she would still taxed on any benefit she receives over the €16,250.

We're not planning on having kids but we do plan on getting married at some point. If one of us found out we were sick it'd be the first (non medical treatment) thing we'd do to make sure the other is looked after. just in case and that we'd be the person able to make medical decisions if needed.

Feline Groovy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122654782#Comment_122654782

Surely not being tethered together in the eyes of the law makes ending the union easier? Divorce can be a crazily drawn out process.

yagan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122656023#Comment_122656023

If you don't believe in investing in a lifelong commitment then legal marriage won't matter to you.

It is possible to secure a divorce at minimal expense, but it requires both parties cooperating.

I've even known a couple who had a divorce party together!

SodiumCooled

Marriage from a legal perspective is very much worth it, there are significant tax benefits and importantly more rights for a father in the unfortunate event of a break up.

Big church weddings with 300 guests followed by an expensive hotel wedding are not worth it though and it can be done in a much smaller civil ceremony (or none at all just the couple filling the forms).

Wezz

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122655937#Comment_122655937

That's really helpful thank you. I didn't realise you could avoid the tax if you have lived in the house 3 years or more, good to know that is in there. I'd still be inclined to get married though just for the peace of mind of not having to worry about one of us dying within those three years. And then there is the next of kin stuff, my partner is a doctor and she's told me stories of patients not having their wishes respected and their partners not being able have a say in their care. Stuff like that does make me think about how we take our relationships for granted and don't consider the legal and financial implications if the worst happens.

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122656023#Comment_122656023

Was responding so a poster saying unmarried couples should be given the same entitlements as married couples. In which case it would need the same procedures for splitting assets and parental responsibility as a normal divorce.

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122655127#Comment_122655127

Sexist drivel.

And does that mean that adoptive mothers are second class mothers?

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122655128#Comment_122655128

There's nothing whatsoever about a religious marriage that guarantees they are, or will remain so, either.

_Kaiser_

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122655127#Comment_122655127

So much wrong and nonsensical about this - not least the last 4 words. Can we not say MAN anymore?

Being a woman and carrying a child doesn't mean that you'll automatically be a good mother, or a good partner, nor does it mean that you should be "rewarded" with all the assets by default in the event of a relationship breakdown.