Church of Ireland Wake

C__MC

Hello

Is there any differences in a church of ireland wake and Catholic wake in terms of rituals and traditions in Ireland?

endacl

RC wakes are great craic. CoI wakes are no craic at all.

Jim_Hodge

Bar an occasional decade of the rosary and prayers the wakes are basically the same. Funerals are different.

Kaybaykwah

They used to stand the deceased party upside down in Church of Ireland wakes, but right side up in the Roman church, just for the heck of it.

smacl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123135416#Comment_123135416

I've always thought of wakes as the traditional Irish send off party for the person who has passed on rather than anything overtly religious or denominational. In my opinion, they should be, and usually are, great craic and remember the person in all their glory, warts and all. Lots written on the subject, rather than RC or CoI, they're originally a Celtic tradition that predates Christianity in this country. More here.

New Scottman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123135416#Comment_123135416

Protestants in Ireland tend to be a lot more conservative than Roman Catholics when it comes to alcohol. I've been at Presbyterian weddings with a dry bar. Not good. I also know some that won't have a pack of cards in the house.

Peregrinus

Wakes are not religious rituals with form or liturgy established by a particular denomination; they are an organic community tradition. In that sense you don't have Church of Ireland wakes and Catholic wakes; at most, you have a wake in which the deceased was CofI or was Catholic, but the people participating in the wake will be immediate and extended family, friends, neighbours. In most cases they are going to be people with a mix of denominational identifications of varying levels of intensity. You'll only have a characteristically Protestant wake, or a characteristically Catholic wake, in places where the two communities are socially very separate, and a person from one community will have few or no family members, friends or neighbours from the other community — cough parts of Ulster cough.

I do recall a story told to me by a friend from a town in Tyrone which shall be nameless. Her mother, a Catholic, had neighbours who were Presbyterians with whom she was on good but not especially close terms. The Presbyterian family had an adult son who had intellectual and physical disabilities which, very sadly, resulted in his dying rather suddenly of pneumonia at the age of 25. My friend's mother made a big pot of stew and called around to offer her condolences. They invited her in and accepted her sympathies but were clearly surprised and a bit puzzled to be presented with the stew. Then, when my friend's mother asked about the funeral arrangements, they were further surprised that she intended to attend; they did not expect that. It wasn't that they were puzzled that a Catholic would want to attend a Presybterian funeral; it was that they didn't think anyone but family and close friends would want to attend.

So, there's an example of communities that live next to one another, and have different customs and practices associated with death, and (at least on one side) are ignorant of the other community's practices.

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058393723/church-of-ireland-wake

Zero craic

smacl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123136010#Comment_123136010

Way more variation among Protestantism. From my understanding, Presbyterians would be considerably more conservative than CoI. Some of the CoI is very liberal, more so than the RC church, e.g. openly advocating for same sex marriage.

FrancieBrady

My partner is COI and I have, as a result, attended quite a few wakes among that community, so this is just based on local observations. There seems to be a dislike of open coffins. No idea what it is based on but my partner trenchantly doesn't want one when their time comes, considers it an invasion of privacy too far.

rowantree18

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123136091#Comment_123136091

Yeah - Ulster and Scots Presbyterians are notoriously strict - usually no booze, even dancing can be a no-no. Remember the locked playgrounds in the wee six on Sundays back in the day.....Presbyterians in the 26 tend to be more liberal and COI can be very liberal. They sanctioned birth control ages ago for example. There's variation though, you can be "high" church or "low", high is "smells and bells", very close to RC. Been at a few funerals, COI grand, usually a few scoops after too.

FrancieBrady

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123136137#Comment_123136137

 even dancing can be a no-no.

Conservatives! Can't have a good wake without a bit of jiving! 😁

New Scottman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123136091#Comment_123136091

in my experience the liberal COI people tend to be younger & urban. Rural COI of my parents’ generation are conservative, more so than Catholics. Two of my siblings married Protestants so I have been to quite a few family functions. Both spouses are COI but within their extended families there’s a mix of Presbyterians, Methodists & Baptists. None of those ones drink and neither do the older COI people. In the Catholic community non-drinkers tend to do their own thing & not influence others. The Protestants tend to impose their tee-totalness on others i.e turn up to a family event with wine & you’ll get funny looks.

PS - going by FB, most in my siblings’ extended families voted no to Repealing the 8th & SSM.

Ben Bailey

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123136103#Comment_123136103

Ditto

smacl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123136644#Comment_123136644

I've a friend, same age as myself late 50s, who is a member of the CoI clergy who I'd consider quite forward thinking and liberal. Originally a Dub, but moved around a fair bit since. Note sure if it is the same over here, but I remember reading about a major rift between conservative and liberal members of the Church of England a couple of years ago.

Peregrinus

There are always issues between the Evangelical, Catholic and liberal wings of the CofE.

The CofI also accommodates a diversity of views that lean Evangelical, Catholic or liberal, but it's much less likely to end up in open warfare. The different groups tend to be more accommodating of one another, perhaps because as a minority church they can't really indulge in the luxury of splitting. When the CofI decided to ordain women there was an attempt by those with conservative views on the question to operate a breakaway movement, but it fizzled out very quickly.

Kaybaykwah

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123136103#Comment_123136103

I know what you mean, when I’m cremated, I don’t even want an open urn.

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058393723/church-of-ireland-wake

The distinctions are probably more geographical and social rather than denominational, e.g. in Dublin it'd be unusual to wake a body in the house.

smacl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123175093#Comment_123175093

Depends very much on the people involved. A removal to the house is still common enough from my experience. I was also at a wake for someone I was close to a few years back where he was in his bed in the family home for the wake and people went in and out to pay their respects and have a last word. I actually found this to be a really warm send-off for a truly wonderful guy.

Jellybaby_1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123175093#Comment_123175093

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123176113#Comment_123176113

I'd agree with the first comment, and only in certain circumstances with the second. CoI families that I know in Dublin have never had a wake in the house unless it is a mixed marriage where the RC family members and neighbours will visit and expect a wake. I personally wouldn't be up for a wake in the house myself but to each their own I guess.