2 month old won't shut the **** up since she was 2 weeks old. Nurse said it's colic, "be grand".

scrotist

Do I need to go to the doctor?

The first two weeks were great. We were like … this parenting stuff is easy. But it was because she had jaundice and was a bit weak and just slept all the time. Since that cleared up, we have been living in hell on earth.

Her default state is crying. Every hour of every day is trying to prevent her from crying. We have found that holding her upright and bouncing on a yoga ball chills her out and helps her sleep. But we can't do that all the time. We need to eat, sleep, shower, go to the shop etc. and stay alive ourselves.

If we put her down while fast asleep, she's awake in 1 minute and crying.

I work from home and can hear the commotion outside my home office all day. I am beginning to wake up with anxiety now, like a tightness and dread in my chest just waiting for the demonic exorcist noises to begin and listening my partner (the mother) struggle.

It's affecting my work, as I often need to head out of the office to help her out. A big project is getting delayed. My manager's patience is running out.

It's affecting our relationship. We haven't slept in the same bed for over a month. I stay in the spare room while she manages the baby at night. I take the baby on the weekend to the spare room and the mother stays alone and gets some sleep.

We don't eat dinner together basically ever because one person needs to manage the baby.

We can't go to a restaurant or cafe for one coffee because she will cry and fuss.

I lie every day to colleagues in work when they ask how the bundle of joy is.

Apparently a 2 month old's wake window should be around 90 minutes. Hers is around 9 hours. She sleeps due to pure exhaustion, then start exorcist mode again 3 hours later maximum. I think she would stay away for 1 week straight if we didn't do the yoga bouncy ball thing. I think she's going to get brain damage from lack of sleep. I get more sleep than her. Babies are supposed to sleep for 16 to 20 hours I thought?

Public health nurse said it's colic, just wait it out. Try some colic drops from the chemist and some thickening stuff (Carobel) for formula. But she's like 80% breastfed so that doesn't work all the time. In fact I don't think it's working at all for the formula feeds.

From googling, it seems that colic is diagnosed when medical professionals are feeling lazy. It could be leprosy and they'll say "ah it's a bit of colic".

Should I demand a cows milk allergy test? Some hardcore reflux drugs?

We have started to do some dangerous things (according to the internet). For example, letting the baby sleep on her stomach while we sleep. She sleeps well on her stomach. Also letting her sleep on our chest while we sleep. Putting her outside in the freezing cold wind for a few minutes which seems to short circuit her brain and make her forget that she was crying. My partner is talking about starting weed again. She has been off it since we found out about the pregnancy. I know it gets into breastmilk, but one joint a week is better than her slipping into post partum depression or just normal depression and our family unit collapsing. She mentioned adoption one night, but she had only slept like 1 hour. I would also like to see her more relaxed so I have agreed that she can smoke weed, but it's formula only for a few days while she pumps all the breast milk out.

My partner had an emergency cesarian section after an absolutely horrendous labour, and during the first two chilled out weeks after birth she said she wanted another baby. After the horrific pain she went through. Now she says no **** way. So this is worse than 2 days of horrific labour and getting your stomach and guts slashed open to smithereens with blood squirting everywhere and then a month of agony while the seven layers of sliced open stomach healed and you couldn't even sit down on the sofa without crying and her vagina was pumping blood. Dealing with our newborn is worse than that.

What do we do?

Next available doctor slot is in 2 weeks.

greasepalm

Dont know much about kids but thinking change their environment , visual aids on ceiling , rocking the cradle , soothing music in the background playing.

Hope you find something that works for a decent nights sleep.

Fann Linn

The joys of parenthood. Wait until she's in her teens.

foreverandever

I feel your pain 

I had it with one of mine and definitely didn’t expect it as the first was so laid back. 

If the baby is gaining weight, having plenty of wet and dirty nappies then it’s a good sign but no harm in getting a review. I would nearly go for a paediatrician rather than a GP.

What worked for us

Baby wear- I got a sling and wore the baby the whole day. They would nap in it and I’d have my hands free. Also the movement helped rock the baby a lot. If I called to someone’s house I would bring the sling. There used be sling meetings where people would teach how to put on the sling but not sure since Covid. There are YouTube videos too though 

It was the biggest thing that made a difference though as it meant the baby was on my chest which they loved too

Probiotics- I tried the biogaia drops at night 

Wait it out- I took any help I could get and any break that was offered but it was really really tough. 

I tried things like cutting out dairy, anti reflux meds etc as well but they didn’t make any difference. 

Eventually around 17 weeks they just didn’t cry as much but they’re still pretty sensitive child 

timmyntc

Food allergies in the child can cause that kind of reaction out of them - they're constantly uncomfortable. Especially in breastfed babies as a lot of allergens pass through the milk from mother to child.

If nothing else works for you can try elimination diet and see if child's condition improves

Baby wearing is also a great way to get difficult baby to take naps if contact naps are the only show in town

The Big Easy

We had similar issues early on, told was colic by PHN. We ended up with blood in the nappies and in A&E in the middle of the night. They diagnosed a cow's milk allergy and said they see it a lot.

It turns out our son was dairy, soy and egg intolerant. Once we cut those out from the mother's diet he was fine (he was 100% breastfed). PHN had actually pressurised us to use formula, thankfully we resisted or I don't know what would have happened to him. Sleep didn't become great overnight, but the constant distressing screaming ended pretty quickly.

He's three now and sleeping relatively well. You will all come out the other side, but definitely get the allergy tests or try elimination diet like suggested.

Start by stopping formula if you're using any and then all dairy from the mother's diet before moving onto things like soy and other common allergens.

Edit: Doctors usually have emergency appointments available for babies every day.

talla10

OP I have had three reflux babies and this sound exactly like that. With my kids the milk baby is taking was burning their oesophagus causing pain. This is why baby couldn't lie down and wanted to be up vertical all the time. It is difficult, exhausting and very demanding.

The doctors didn't care much because once baby was putting on weight and thriving they were happy. One of my sons was taken in to Crumlin for 3 nights as he wasn't putting on anything. All three outgrew it as they got older but the bad news; it took my eldest 1.5 years to sleep a night, second child 1 year and three months and third child was a year.

We had to get Neocate baby formula on prescription its on drug refund so once you hit your monthly threshold stock up! All mine were on Zantec, Losec meds to help and the milk was thickened by Gaviscon in the bottle. We also needed special bottles usually used for children with cleft pallates to help with the feeds.

It is tough, exhausting, demanding but we got through it three times. Our kids spent their evenings screaming crying for hours on end and its very tough, upsetting and frustrating.

rowantree18

Allergies may well be the issue. One thing I'm wondering is you said she slept after being in the cold wind - I used to live in Finland, there, they wrap up babies really well and put them in their prams and they sleep outside- even in minus 20c. I'm wondering if your baby has a heat regulation issue and would being put outside to nap help.

maude6868

Oh boy can I relate to this. I have 5 children, I know, a glutton for punishment. Every one of them were the same, perfect for a week to 10 days and then never slept again until the magic four month mark. After 4 months they slept better than any other baby their age, teething never bothered them. I reckon they had enough pain for the 4 months to last a lifetime and once that passed they were wonderful. Myself and my husband took turns every second night staying up so at least you had one night's sleep. All 5 were bottle fed. The youngest is now 17. The crying never stopped, only when we were driving had we peace. GP recommended lactaid which were drops and Gaviscon which was put in the bottle. Nothing worked. He told me afterwards that it was just biding time and trying to reassure and he knew it didn't work but he had to give some hope.

I envied other parents with their beautiful sleeping babies. I remember admitting that if someone came to me I would sign adoption papers and give the baby away. Nobody knows what it's like until you have to go through it. It will stop at about the 4 month mark or when the baby is on solids. My GP told me it's got to do with the gut maturing or untwisting or something like that. My last baby was the same and I knew to expect it. One day, buying the usual concoction at the chemist the pharmacist told me their baby was the same and they took them to a cranial osteopath and never looked back. I was willing at that stage to try anything so I gave it a go. From that day onwards, after one visit to the cranial osteopath my baby slept soundly. He explained to me what was wrong and said I would need a few visits but I never had to go back, my baby was an angel. I'm only sorry I didn't know that for the other 4 because they obviously were suffering. I have no medical background and can only say it worked for me and my baby and was a lifesaver and game changer. I know how you are feeling and there really is nothing worse.

MrMusician18

Are you winding the baby properly?

wildwillow

You need to visit your doctor. Babies don’t cry unless they are uncomfortable or in pain. Imagine you are suffering from heartburn all day and night. Baby may need a special formula. May have an intolerance for certain proteins. Keep seeking help until you have a workable solution. Don’t be fobbed off by being told it’s colic.
Visiting a cranial osteopath is also an excellent idea. I speak from experience.

mikewest

I feel your pain OP. We had to operate a shift system 10 til 3 and 3 till morning to get some sleep for the first 5 months. After that it was just regular interrupted sleep til 20 months and then he slept most of the night. We were told colic and given all sorts but lactase drops in the milk and lactose free food helped.

He is still a light sleeper and even as a teenager 6 or 7 hours was a long night's sleep. He now operates on 5 to 6 hours🙄

appledrop

First thing is it's not acceptable that there is a tw o week wait to see the Doctor. Usually once they hear it's a young baby they try and see you quick enough. Ring again and explain situation.

Now there is definitely something going on alright. My son had reflux and never slept longer than 1 hour day or night for the first three months. Yep I never got a minute to eat, sleep, shower etc if I was on my own. We tried lots of things but like that he was very uncomfortable lying down and we had the added joy of him throwing up then all the time aswell! He also had to be feed every two hours day and night( yep 12 bottles a day!)and it could take an hour to get him to finish a bottle.

Two things worked for us in the end Carboel which you mentioned was a godsend for us. He finally stopped throwing up as much. I know your saying not doing much for you but ask GP etc for advice on what is best.

The second thing that had a huge impact was that the reflux got better once he started on solids. The PHN told us to start him at 16 weeks and I though I was worse mother ever as of course everyone says start them later but in our case it was the right call( Obviously you only do this if advised)

Now right up until he was one the Carboel stayed in formula but his sleeping improved from about 4 mths on and he slept through night from about 14mths on so there is hope!

It's a bit of a myth that newborns sleep all the time many don't, the hard part about breastfeeding as well is that you don't know exactly how much there are taking in.

Someone mentioned sling and yes that works for some but mine lasted 1 day in it, when he got sick on me for 3rd time that day it went in the bin😁.

There is light at the end of tunnel but you do need to know what's causing it. You both also need support to mind your own mental health. Do you have any family that could help out?

IIt will get easier, but you do need to know what's causing it. Silent reflux is also a thing so could be that and I think that's harder to diagnose.

scrotist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123209504#Comment_123209504

I literally can't wait. At least she can tell me what's bothering her.

Dont Be at It

The colic and reflux both went away around the 5 or 6 month mark for us, once he started on solids. Hang in there…it won't last forever even though it feels like that at the time!

Also get good wax earplugs and sleep in a different room. No point you both being awake at the same time.

Escapees

I can relate to this too! The medical profession here generally only care really if a baby isn't PHYSICALLY thriving. Unfortunately the baby's psychological well-being or that of the parents often isn't considered...

Have heard good things about CST, even though the medical profession looks down upon it. Worst-case, your baby will get a nice massage out of it, so what's the harm in trying! Also, it's partly covered by a lot of private health insurers now.

I think omeprazole is the name of the medication that's generally used to treat reflux in babies, although it goes under different brand names. Apparently you can get this prescribed if you push your GP enough. Tell them your baby is vomitting a lot if necessary.

I wouldn't worry too much about letting a baby sleep on their stomach. The same applies to co-sleeping. Unfortunately the SIDS guidelines don't really consider the reality of caring for a baby with reflux or colic. But more importantly, the elephant in the room with SIDS is that there are other much more significant risk factors than the position of the baby when sleeping (e.g. a smoking household, a baby sleeping in another room or already suffering from respiratory illness etc.).

From personal experience, the way a baby deals with trapped wind can be a contributory factor for reflux, in that they can tense up their stomach quite a bit in a poor attempt to release it via the back door, and this in turn can cause food to come up and regurgitation. So winding them during and after feeding is very important. The simplest way is to suspend the baby in font of you by holding them at their armpits or a combination of this and supporting their butt with one hand. Don't worry about rubbing or patting them as the jury's out on whether this makes any difference! Also, consider helping them with trapped wind by doing bicycle kicks etc. or trying Infacol or Dentinox gas drops (which can make reflux worse by the way!).

Note that sometimes it's not the lying down in a crib that freaks a baby but the change in temperature etc. You might find that pre-heating their crib makes it more inviting and stops them getting agitated. Also, despite the general advice to transfer a baby when they're drowsy but not asleep, it can help to have them dressed for bed in your arms and transfer them ever so slowly and carefully to the crib AFTER they've nodded off. Put the arse end down first, then their head down to avoid the Moro reflex, then slip your lower hand out and press your palm gently on their chest for a minute or so to simulate the feeling of pressure and heat they had when against your chest. While doing this, carefully slip out your other hand from behind their neck/head. This way of transferring can be a game-changer sometimes.

And last but not least, I presume you've tried using a soother. They're not ideal but they serve a useful purpose and do what it says on the tin (until they're spat out... again and again!).

Finally, bear in mind that the most common cause of crying is hunger. Even if your baby appears to be 'thriving', you could try supplementing the breastfeeding with either larger bottle feeds or more frequent ones and see what happens. If a baby is very hungry and gets pissed, they will arch their backs and can appear to have reflux or even bring it on by also inadvertently tensing their stomachs.

Here's a nice video to finish with but do check out the full collection for good advice: https://youtu.be/wVRLDJcVKxk

Gusser09

Colic is terrible. Op id advise driving to the north for gripe water. Worked wonders for us.

Gusser09

https://www.boots.com/woodwards-gripe-water-150ml-10006777

Escapees

There's Colic Calm here but not sure how folk rate it. Some say that the old gripe water only worked coz of the alcohol in it and the modern versions are just placebo effect but no harm trying...

Nocrac

Try white noise - you can get app on phone. Keep baby skin moisturised. Wear baby in sling/carrier during the day. Wear headphones that dampen noise but still allow you to hear baby.

Day Lewin

Veteran parent here - I had 5, all breastfed.

This amount of crying is not normal. First stop would be a lactation consultant (phone La Leche for rex)

The other thing that I see mothers discussing is an adjustment of the baby's spine. I hold no brief on this, but some swear that the chiropractic adjustment works where nothing else did - their theory is that baby's neck got twisted during delivery and the poor mite is in chronic pain, hence the crying. As I say, I don't know about this, but new mums of crying babies DO recommend it sometimes, so may be worth looking into.

I get some of this advice from an excellent facebook group called Extended Breastfeeding Ireland - it's not all Irish or very extended but their information files are brilliant and there's tons of good advice. Also includes references for up-to-date information on the use of drugs while nursing, may be helpful if she wants to smoke a j.

Jerry Atrick

Get it on the Losec...get the capsules and crack them open and spill the tiny little balls into child's mouth. Worked for us!

wingnut

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123209981#Comment_123209981

We had two of three kids like this, reflux was the issue and the losec was the answer. Never had the capsules, had to break a tablet in half and dissolve.

davzo

I had the same issue with my first born. A very stressful 6 months! We went to the doctors several times but all the did was recommend to consider changing formula (they were never specific, perhaps for litigation reasons, ..) . Ended up changing to a lactose free formula which worked in the end. Best of luck with it!

scrotist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123209545#Comment_123209545

re. the pediatritian. I've seen Americans mention that on Reddit. "go to your pediatritian". How do I get a pediatritian in Ireland? I have a public health nurse that visited twice, said "colic" and disappeared. I won't see her until next month I think.

Yes the baby is gaining weight. Plenty of wet nappies, a dirty nappy every 2 days or so. The nurse asked the same question, but that can't be the measure of a thriving baby. She's miserable. There must be more to it.

appledrop

Yeah hopefully you will find what works for your baby because they all are so different.

I remember using teetha for teething on my first child and it was like a magic wand, with the second one I might aswell have been given him dust it was useless.

scrotist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123209670#Comment_123209670

Yep. Nice big burps. She's still very gassy though. Like 40 year old man sounding farts.

scrotist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123209666#Comment_123209666

I have seen mentions of osteopathy online for newborns, and I know it's fake science. But honestly I'll give it a go. Sounds like a nice massage at the worst. I'll try anything at this stage. I'm thinking of bringing her to the local priest for an exorcism.

Padre_Pio

My friend had the same. His daughter had some issue with her trachea where the stomach acid moved into her throat when she was placed on her back and burned her.

They had to keep her vertical most of the first 3 months until that bit fully developed. It's tough, take the parents leave.

I know you're saying work is suffering, but sometimes having no one is better than having someone who tries to deliver, but just can't. There's probably no better reason to leave work for a few weeks than to help your baby and give yourself and your wife some breathing space.

Also, regarding letting her sleep on her stomach, this was the preferred method for years, until the "back to sleep" direction said to put them on their backs. I would 100% let her sleep on her stomach if it gives you a break. Spending your time checking baby is OK on her stomach is better than spending it with crying baby.

scrotist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123209868#Comment_123209868

A question on the Carobel - we use the minimum amount stated on the package, and she was having trouble sucking it through the bottle. Did you make it really thick and porridge like? What sort of teats did you buy for that? Did you cut holes in them?

You're not the worst mother ever for giving him solids don't worry. My mother told me she used to crush Liga into my formula when I was a month old (back in the 80s). And I'm "fit as a fiddle, didn't do me any harm".

Damien360

We had this many moons ago. I paced my kitchen winding him till all hours of the night. Change the food. We weren't on breastmilk so we kept moving food weekly until we found one that agreed. There were bottles and southers designed to release air, had a doctor's name on it, worked a treat. Cant remember name now.

Everyone that comes is an "expert", all conflicting, go with your gut as nobody has a clue and if they never had colic in their house, they especially haven't a bulls notion. Oh my little johnny used to whimper a bit before sleep. F**k off. No mine didn't sleep for long at all and default was scream. This has the makings of breaking a marriage so you need to work together and get on top of it. It does taper off by the time solids are the diet but it will leave you scarred. Explain to your partner how to help, they don't know. Work together.