Ask Pam (AMP)

amp

In This Thread you ask deep personal questions about your life and I'll do my best to answer them in limerick form.

SantaHoe

Dear Pam,
Why are you such a tit?

Gordon

pammy hunny i thro my cloeths in my toilet wat can i do bout this? neurotic practice sed i should die or sumthin... help

PH01

I wasn't really satisfied with Neuro's advice so here goes...

Dear [delete]Neuro[/delete] Pam,
I feel guilty about eating just a bag of crisps and a Twix bar for lunch. What wrong with me?

Yours,
Faithfully Regards Sincerely
Dublin,
Ireland,
EU,
Earth.


PS: I prefer Galway rather then Limerick

neuro-praxis

Dear Pam,

Everybody wants to be me. What can I do? It's very upsetting and I need to have a little weep now, excuse me.

I DEMAND LIMERICKS. Good ones that rhymes PROPAH.

amp

SantaHoe wrote:

Dear Pam,
Why are you such a tit?

A question about why I'm a tit,
Which hurts just a small bit,
The answer you see,
Is green jealousy,
Cos I'm such a popular hit!

PH01

pam wrote:

A question about why I'm a tit,
Which hurts just a small bit,
The answer you see,
Is green jealousy,
Cos I'm such a popular hit!

BRAVO!!!
MORE!
MORE!

amp

Gordon wrote:

pammy hunny i thro my cloeths in my toilet wat can i do bout this? neurotic practice sed i should die or sumthin... help

Gordons smell like an old hog,
Cause he chucks his cloths in the bog,
The answer you see,
Is simple indeed,
But means you living less like a dog.

Sarky

Dear Pam,

It happened again.

Yours,

Sarky.

amp

PH01 wrote:

I wasn't really satisfied with Neuro's advice so here goes...

Dear [delete]Neuro[/delete] Pam,
I feel guilty about eating just a bag of crisps and a Twix bar for lunch. What wrong with me?

Yours,
Faithfully Regards Sincerely
Dublin,
Ireland,
EU,
Earth.


PS: I prefer Galway rather then Limerick

There was a young poster in guilt,
From eating a sandwich he'd built,
Using crisps and twix,
He needed a fix,
When all was required was some Lilt.

amp

neuro-praxis wrote:

Dear Pam,

Everybody wants to be me. What can I do? It's very upsetting and I need to have a little weep now, excuse me.

I DEMAND LIMERICKS. Good ones that rhymes PROPAH.

Neuro-praxis has probs with imitation,
Which causes some alienation,
But what can I do,
I do what I do,
For the good of this online nation.

neuro-praxis

Bualadh bos móra!

amp

Sarky wrote:

Dear Pam,

It happened again.

Yours,

Sarky.

Sarky is stuck in a loop,
Possibly an unwanted poop,
Get a plastic bag,
And cover the rag,
Then chuck it in Gordons greek loo!

amp

PH01 wrote:

BRAVO!!!
MORE!
MORE!

This user does demand from me more,
But I've answered all the questions before,
So I'll make this ryhme,
And bide my time,
Until this thread is a bore.

Gordon

pam wrote:

Sarky is stuck in a loop,
Possibly an unwanted poop,
Get a plastic bag,
And cover the rag,
Then chuck it in Gordons greek loo!

No, I don't know where it's been,
and I like my loo clean.
So if you don't mind,
I'll take it from behind,
and I'll pop it in my washing machine.

amp

Gordon wrote:

No, I don't know where it's been,
and I like my loo clean.
So if you don't mind,
I'll take it from behind,
and I'll pop it in my washing machine.

You claim to like your loo clean,
Yet it would make your clothes smell extreme,
Your answer you see
Makes no sense to me,
To long in the sun old bean?

therecklessone

Dear Pam,

Will I ever have a cat?

Yours,

therecklessone

gaui3d0pnbz86o

dear pam,

i have a problem with a silver orange,

tom

amp

therecklessone wrote:

Dear Pam,

Will I ever have a cat?

Yours,

therecklessone

This chap has thoughts feline,
Asking "will a cat ever be mine?"
To this I must say,
And without delay,
You will have a basket fur-lined!

therecklessone

pam wrote:

This chap has thoughts feline,
Asking "will a cat ever be mine?"
To this I must say,
And without delay,
You will have a basket fur-lined!

BRAVO!

Rep ya when the maaaaaaaaaaaaaaachine lets me.

amp

Serena Chilly Gull wrote:

dear pam,

i have a problem with a silver orange,

tom

Tom has posted a poser,
To this online composer,
Silver orange he said,
Thinking my brain must be dead,
If I could ryhme the word orange I'd be closer.

PH01

pam wrote:

This user does demand from me more,
But I've answered all the questions before,
So I'll make this ryhme,
And bide my time,
Until this thread is a bore.

This has gotta be the best thread EVER!

Beruthiel

Dear Pam

I have read so many problems in PI that I am starting to feel down as a consequence

can you help me?

yours in desperation
Beruthiel

Canis Lupus

Dear Pam,

Can u fit the words vicarious and onomatopoeic into a limerick?

Ali Cat

Dear Pam,
I really enjoy your limericks but have nothing worthwhile to contribute, could you write me one any way?

pickarooney

Dear Pam, I'm in need of your help
I've a hopeless addiction to kelp
But that's not the whole story
I've adored dulce and nori
Since way back when I was a whelp

gaui3d0pnbz86o

keudos to you my man

Tom has posted a poser,
To this online composer,
Silver orange he said,
Thinking my brain must be dead,
If I could ryhme the word orange I'd be closer.

amp

Beruthiel wrote:

Dear Pam

I have read so many problems in PI that I am starting to feel down as a consequence

can you help me?

yours in desperation
Beruthiel

Ruthie is feeling depressed,
PI has her down she confessed,
It's hard work,
Dealing with berks,
But she does it so well I'm impressed.

koneko

I'm bored and tired and want to go home
what can I do about this predicament?

amp

Canis Lupus wrote:

Dear Pam,

Can u fit the words vicarious and onomatopoeic into a limerick?

Canis lives a life vicarious,
His demands on me are various,
Fit "onomatopoeic" into poem
My brain has to roam
But in the end it's far too nefarious.

amp

Ali Cat wrote:

Dear Pam,
I really enjoy your limericks but have nothing worthwhile to contribute, could you write me one any way?

Ali Cat has nothing to ask,
Write me a poem s/he does task,
It's hard to do,
Without any clue,
So I'll just drink some tea from a flask.