Ask Pam (AMP)

amp

Rozabeez wrote:

Dear Pam, I'm new to this section of boards and it's brilliance is slightly overhwelming. What can I do?

Rozabeez is a poster with taste,
So I'll answer her query with haste,
You could give rep,
But by far the best step,
Is by contributing posts to this place.

amp

Sarky wrote:

Dear Pam,

I am 22 years old and have all my own, in addition to some other peoples', teeth.

Yours,
Sarky.

This post is incredibly scary,
Sark's claim that he's the tooth fairy,
I'm filled with grief,
Didn't look after me teef,
And I've got legs that used to be hairy.

Rozabeez

Dear Pam, how many people have you stabbed? What time is it? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could only chuck a certain amount of wood per day?

Answer me these questions three,
and there may be respect for thee.
Eh...that's all I've got.

amp

Rozabeez wrote:

Dear Pam, how many people have you stabbed? What time is it? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could only chuck a certain amount of wood per day?

Answer me these questions three,
and there may be respect for thee.
Eh...that's all I've got.

Stabbed, I never have before,
The time's a quarter to four,
How much wood,
A woodchuck could
Throw,
I don't know,
But the Oracle would know the answer for sure.

JackKelly

Dear Pam
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

SantaHoe

Dear Pam,
What's your faverite Simon and GarfunKel song?

Rozabeez

TimAy wrote:

Dear Pam
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

*raises hand* sorry about that.

Numina

Dear Pam

I wet my bed. What should I do?

amp

TimAy wrote:

Dear Pam
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

"STOP LOOKING AT ME!"
I did roar and then flee,
I did not see,
The gorgeous cookie,
"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!" tee hee hee hee!

amp

SantaHoe wrote:

Dear Pam,
What's your faverite Simon and GarfunKel song?

Santohoe wants to know which song I do care,
From the catalogue of the above musical pair,
The answer is a question,
Because I think the best one,
Is "Are you going to Scarborough fair?"

amp

Numina wrote:

Dear Pam

I wet my bed. What should I do?

When this poster wakes up it's a mess,
The bed is all wet did Numina confess,
The answer is this,
Not taking the piss,
Because as you grow older you'll pee less.

Ba_barbaraAnne

I keep sleeping through my alarm and then my young lad misses the bus to school and I have to drive him into town! How can I get up in the mornings?

Dear Pam,
Why isn't this a sticky yet? Its the best thread on boards...

The Clown Man

Sheer brilliance!

Never mind sticky - should be linked in the announcements!

I'd rep you but I've given you all I can. Kudos Sir!

koneko

I concur.

I hereby stickify this thread for uber 1337 goodness

StupidLikeAFox

Dear pam, how DO they get the figs in the fig roll? and do blondes really have more fun?

RuggieBear

do you remember what we talked about at boards beer...?

StupidLikeAFox

If i was there i might have.......

amp

Ba_barbaraAnne wrote:

I keep sleeping through my alarm and then my young lad misses the bus to school and I have to drive him into town! How can I get up in the mornings?

Ba_barbaraAnne needs waking up advice,
Arising in the morning's not nice,
Move the alarm to a place,
Far away from your face,
Getting up to switch the alarm off's the price.

amp

ColHol wrote:

Dear pam, how DO they get the figs in the fig roll? and do blondes really have more fun?

Another cheeky multiple question,
Of figs and blondes I am pressed on,
The figs are covered,
With dough and then severed,
Super Blonde Blonde! Super Bon Bon!

amp

RuggieBear wrote:

do you remember what we talked about at boards beer...?

A question that fills me with fear,
"What we discussed at boards beer?"
I don't have a clue,
But do not feel blue,
Things said to me don't get past my ear

RuggieBear

pam wrote:

A question that fills me with fear,
"What we discussed at boards beer?"
I don't have a clue,
But do not feel blue,
Things said to me don't get past my ear

bravo....

tis quality!!

roar_ie

Dear Pam,

When will i reach the post count of 200??

roar_ie

Zombienosh

ackkkk pam!
my eyes, the goggles do nothinggggggg.

amp

roar_ie wrote:

Dear Pam,

When will i reach the post count of 200??

roar_ie

A numerical query is posed,
By a poster in post count envy throws,
But by posting quality,
And not needless quantity;
You'll not care when your 200 goal goes.

amp

-AlcoholicA- wrote:

ackkkk pam!
my eyes, the goggles do nothinggggggg.

Ach himmel, the fluid, it's here!
It is almost reaching mein ear!
Mein eyes de are burning,
Ze goggles do nothing!,
It'z ze end for big Wolfcastle I fear!

Rozabeez

Dear pam, I've lost my dignity...can you help me find it?

amp

Rozabeez wrote:

Dear pam, I've lost my dignity...can you help me find it?

"Where did you lose it!" they all did cry,
Before making a face and making a sigh,
Is it in your pants?
Or having a dance!
Shut the **** up and also die!

The Thunderdome is the cause of this outburst,
I've had a pain in my brain and it's got worse,
My blood boils with blood,
Basic concepts not understood,
LORD SMITE THEM WITH YOUR EVIL EYE CURSE!

I return now more calm than before,
I apologise for the this borish furour,
I have now contemplated,
This problem you stated,
Dignity is overated and a terrible bore...

Ali Cat

Dear Pam,
Is Boards really an adequate substitute for sleep? And is this really how you spell adequte, you know the word that's synonymous with sufficient?

elivsvonchiaing

Boards is not a substitute for sleep as I have found out many times - to my disgrace