More Friday Funnies

Blisterman

Another Friday, more friday funnies.

Two women sat talking on a park bench. The brunette said, "My boyfriend used to have dandruff, but then I gave him Head and Shoulders." The blonde looked puzzled. "How do you give a man 'shoulders'?"

"Mr. Smith, you're the proud father of healthy baby boy!" "That's great, Doc! Thanks for everything!" "Well, there is one problem. Your son has no eyelids. But don't worry; we can fix that easily." "Huh? How?" "Easy. We use the skin from his circumcision as a graft." "And he'll be okay?" "Oh, yes. Well, he may be a little cock-eyed...."

Paddy irishman, Paddy Scotsman, and Paddy Englishman are in a bar discussing their wives. Paddy Irishman says, “My wife must be the dumbest woman in the world. She bought €900 worth of meat at a supermarket sale, and we don’t even have a freezer!” Paddy Scotsman says, “That’s nothing! My wife bought a new car, and she can’t even drive!” Not to be out-done, Paddy Englishman says, “My wife is even dumber. Last week she left on her two-week holiday and she packed 20 condoms! And she don’t even have a penis!”

A priest and a rabbi were talking. “Rabbi, have you ever eaten pork?” The rabbi said, “Well, by mistake once I ate a little ham sandwich.” “What did you think of it?” the priest asked. “It was pretty good. Now let me ask you something. Have you ever been with a woman?” asked the rabbi. “Honestly? Just once. Years ago I made a mistake and slept with a prostitute,” said the priest. “And what did you think of it?” asked the rabbi. “It beats the hell out of a ham sandwich!”