Dear Santa....

kleefarr · 06-12-2004 1:52pm #1

Letters to Father Christmas...

10th. December 1880
Dear Santa, my name’s Vicky, and I’m only eight years old,
I’m sending you this note, because I’ve been as good as gold,
I’d really love a doll’s house in my stocking Christmas day,
I hope your gnomes will make one, and you’ll bring it on your sleigh.

9th. December 1881
Dear Santa, this is Vicky, I’m the one who wrote last year,
I asked you for a doll’s house, which alas, did not appear,
I guess my note got lost, or failed to reach the gnomes on time,
I still would love a doll’s house, by the way, my age is nine.

14th. December 1882
Dear Santa Claus, it’s Vicky, it’s the third time that I’ve wrote,
I really can’t imagine why you didn’t get my note,
I’m ten, and getting anxious, for a doll’s house of my own,
Please pass this letter quickly to the doll’s house making gnome.

12th. December 1883
Dear Santa Claus, I’m Vicky, it’s a name you may recall,
I’ve asked you for a doll’s house since the time that I was small,
I’m running out of patients, will you listen to my plea,
I think now I’m eleven, you could find just one for me.

13th. December 1884
Dear Santa Claus, I’m fuming, like the chimneys you descend,
If I don’t get my doll’s house, you’ll have lost me as a friend,
I’ve asked you very nicely, now I think it’s only fair,
I’M TWELVE, MY NAME IS VICKY ! … send it soon, I’m in despair.

9th. December 1885
Dear Sir, WAKE UP ! , it’s Vicky, and you’ve made me quite irate,
I’m now a teenage youngster, soon it may just be too late,
If I don’t see a doll’s house at the bottom of my bed,
I’m telling you, dear Santa, you’ll be wishing you was dead !

16th. December 1886
Dear ‘FATSO’, Vicky speaking, can’t you read, or are you thick ?
You’ve one last chance dear Santa, send my doll’s house pretty quick,
I’m fourteen, and upset that you could treat a girl this way,
Now do as I request, or I’ll be forced to sue … o.k. ?

15th. December 1887
A joke’s a joke, you miser, now you’ve made poor Vicky mad,
My solicitor is suing, for the house I haven’t had,
You’ve fourteen days to find one, or you’ll find you’ve got the sack,
I’m growing-up real fast, so shove a doll’s house down my stack !

11th. December 1888
Dear Santa, Hi, it’s Vicky, I’m the kid you’ve always missed,
I’m dropping all the charges, I’ve found out you don’t exist,
You can keep your lousy doll’s house, and your other stupid toys,
I’m sixteen now, and anyway … I’ve just discovered boys !

meepmeep · 06-12-2004 4:17pm

meh.....

mad m · 06-12-2004 6:56pm

something must be wrong me as my laughometer inside me must be broken but i thought that was BRUTAL!!!!

StupidLikeAFox · 06-12-2004 7:14pm

kleefarr wrote:

The following are a series of old Victorian photo-copies of a child’s letters to
Father Christmas, found in an old loft.
They are reproduced here in their original form.

Original form my ass!