The offside rule?!

Semi sport/semi PI.
I was watching the football last night, massaging the girl I'm seeing, when she asked me to explain the offside rule. I said no because:
a)I'm too tired,
b)I'm too comfortable
c)I'm enjoying the match
Which ended up in a huge row about me thinking she's thick!!!
Now we're only beginning in our "relationship" but have any other guys had something similar happen and how do you get out of it? (explaining, NOT the relationship! )

][cEMAN**

You were too tired to quickly paraphrase a sporting rule, but not too tired to massage her? I don't blame her tbh.

But then it all comes down to the time honoured tradition of your g/f asking "Who's that? What's he doing? Why'd he do that?" while watching any TV or films, even though they're watching the same thing.

And if you walk in and sit down while they're watching a soap and ask "Who's that guy?" you lose a limb.

WizZard

' wrote:

[cEMAN**']
And if you walk in and sit down while they're watching a soap and ask "Who's that guy?" you lose a limb.

Or else you get 'treated' to the last years happenings in said soap, even though you only asked because you thought you saw 'that guy' in Dublin last Saturday night!

As regards the original post, she asked because she was interested in what you like - she wants to let you know that. It's all part of her liking you. You saying no was prob not the best thing ever. You're better off to buy flowers and say sorry

Canis Lupus

It would have taken 10 seconds of yur time to explain the rule..... you have only yurself to blame for that one.

*hangs head in shame*


Bad Boy

Roar

i went out with a girl i worked with for 4 years. way before we started going out i trained her and a couple of the other girls in the rules of off side, i even drew out a couple of scenarios and asked them to tell me if it was offside or not. that was their test at the end. a few of the girls got it (including my girlfriend to be). however in the course of the four years she never watched a full match with me, except for the time i dragged her to see cork city and celtic. even then she was late and complained about the whole fecking thing. ah well.

Bri

You do know it right? (The rule that is)

Seraphina

erm... i just dont get women who dont understand that
ITS NOT COMPLICATED YOU DUMBASSES!

anyway... yeah stupid row, apologise, explain the rule, all will be fine
women are irrational/attention seeking blah blah you know the dealy

seamus

Seraphina wrote:

erm... i just dont get women who dont understand that
ITS NOT COMPLICATED YOU DUMBASSES!

No it's not, but it does require a fundamental knowledge or exposure to having pllayed footbal. Which a lot of women don't have.

A bit like trying to explain the Halting Problem to someone who's never done any kind of computing.

The Corinthian

Seraphina wrote:

anyway... yeah stupid row, apologise, explain the rule, all will be fine
women are irrational/attention seeking blah blah you know the dealy

If she was the one who was being irrational, why should he apologise?

tinkerbell

That's crap her causing a row. She should've waited til AFTER the match if you were that engrossed in it!

Get her to apologise, she's being irrational!

][cEMAN**

The Corinthian wrote:

If she was the one who was being irrational, why should he apologise?

Because if she was involved in an irrational thought, then it's unlikely that the rational idea that 'he doesn't need to applogise' would be understood. Thus meaning that the irrational interpretation of 'he doesn't need to appologise' would consist of him having to appologise.

Women = complex chaos theory :P

Also considering the idea of "Well if you don't know what's wrong i'm not going to tell you" (where this should make you instantly know what it was that you did wrong), it goes to show that they can be known to create paradoxs.

They're really a science on to their own. Didn't Einstein want to study them?

Spalk0

Canis Lupus wrote:

It would have taken 10 seconds of yur time to explain the rule..... you have only yurself to blame for that one.

Mate if you can explain that rule to someone who knows nothing about football in 10 seconds can you please tell me how!?!?!?

I had an ex ask me to explain that to her before, and she aint thick and it took me more than 5 minutes to get through the gist of the offside rule!basically the reason is that you allways get questions back like "but how?" or something like "i dont get that, hang on, so your saying......".....Yadda yadda yadda!

The Corinthian

' wrote:

[cEMAN**']Because if she was involved in an irrational thought, then it's unlikely that the rational idea that 'he doesn't need to applogise' would be understood. Thus meaning that the irrational interpretation of 'he doesn't need to appologise' would consist of him having to appologise.

While I know you’re being humorous in your reply, pandering to such behaviour and stereotypes is complete crap. What is most amusing is that had the genders been reversed here then the guy would have been accused of immaturity rather than irrationality.

Either women are irrational creatures by nature or they’re not. If not she was simply being immature and should be told to cop onto herself. Otherwise, it’s time we rethink that whole universal suffrage thing.

As an addendum, it should be noted that PMS should be no more an excuse for such behaviour than blue balls syndrome is for rape.

tinkerbell

Canis Lupus wrote:

It would have taken 10 seconds of yur time to explain the rule..... you have only yurself to blame for that one.

When my bf explained the offside rule to me, it took a hell of a lot more than 10 seconds!

Victor

Papa Smut, I suggest you check out the proper definition of the off-sde rule, but flowers / dinner / something. Ask for demonstations of the A-spot / G-spot.

The Corinthian wrote:

As an addendum, it should be noted that PMS should be no more an excuse for such behaviour than blue balls syndrome is for rape.

Violence (rape in your example) is well beyond the acceptability of immaturity or irrationality (via PMS in your example).

TC, theres a line and you're on it.

Spalk0

tinkerbell wrote:

When my bf explained the offside rule to me, it took a hell of a lot more than 10 seconds!

Hear hear!

Its not as easy to explain as some people may think it is!Expect a lot of questions and a confused face when you do try though!

The Corinthian

Victor wrote:

Violence (rape in your example) is well beyond the acceptability of immaturity or irrationality (via PMS in your example).

Get off your sanctimonious pulpit. The use of “the hormones made me do it” type excuses is unacceptable regardless of whether it is meant to condone selfishness, rape or even murder.

TC, theres a line and you're on it.

Drop me a line when you find a more convincing cliché.

ShiverinEskimo

draw her a picture...much easier.
Then say "i'm sorry about the whole thing, i'm just really into my football" that way she will think your great but know in future that football is likely to come first on champion's league nights or premiership weekends.

ChRoMe

I shouldnt really post this but anyway... My girlfriend had to explain it to me :eek:

In my defense I hate football

ChRoMe

Rossonero

IMO girls who don't know the off side rule don't know or care for football. She made an effort to start a conversation about something I doubt she cares of, and you're too lazy to give any effort. :eek:

Gordon

TC, although there may be a couple of slight references to PMS in the original post, as far as the thread has gone: PMS is not an issue in this thread. The PMS/Blue balls reference is for another thread.

Trojan

So... can anyone explain offiside in rugby union in less than 10 minutes?

secret_squirrel

TBH since the offside rules were changed not so long ago - its safe to say that the only person who now has a complete understanding of the offside rule and why it was applied is the Ref at the moment he applies it.

Not that your GF is gonna believe you if you tell her that one....

Trojan

Err, in soccer the Ref does NOT apply the office rule. The 'assistant referee' (linesman) applies the rule...

Pedant.

Victor

Trojan wrote:

So... can anyone explain offiside in rugby union in less than 10 minutes?

Do you really think that 6'4" 19 stone guy is going to allow you?

Sherifu

Trojan wrote:

So... can anyone explain offiside in rugby union in less than 10 minutes?

It can be done with three words:
Higher most foot
As long as the explanation includes that your ok

The Corinthian

Gordon wrote:

TC, although there may be a couple of slight references to PMS in the original post, as far as the thread has gone: PMS is not an issue in this thread. The PMS/Blue balls reference is for another thread.

The PMS/Blue balls reference was really only meant as an addendum to my principle point which was on-topic. Had the PC police not intervened, I'd have left it at nothing more than the original addendum.

Apologies for veering the thread off topic.

EKRIUQ

Offside Rule and Offside Trap in Football(Soccer) Explained

It is not an offence in itself to be in an offside position. (Not a lot of people know this!!!)

A player is in an offside position if:
he is nearer to his opponents' goal line than both the ball and the second last opponent

A player is not in an offside position if:he is in his own half of the field of play
he is level with the second last opponent
he is level with the last two opponents

Commiting an Offside Offence
A player in an offside position is only penalised if, at the moment the ball touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee, involved in active play by:
interfering with play
interfering with an opponent
gaining an advantage by being in that position

No Offence
There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:
a goal kick
a throw-in
a corner kick

Infringements/Sanctions
For any offside offence, the referee awards an indirect free kick to the opposing team to be taken from the place where the infringement occurred.


Now print that out for future reference!

Gordon

Well the thread has been kicked into a different curve so I'm putting my hands on this thread and carrying it over to Soccer. I try my best.
Papa Smut if you cannot post here please ask for access in the sub forum of soccer - access requests.

Moved from PI.

pickarooney

Best thing would be to get her to figure it out empirically. Tell her to watch carefully and you'll say when someone is on or offside and she has to work out the reason. It'll keep her in some way entertained (and feck it, she's getting a masage) and she can prove she's not thick into the bargain.

Pigman II

Papa Smut wrote:

Semi sport/semi PI.
I was watching the football last night, massaging the girl I'm seeing, when she asked me to explain the offside rule. I said no

You're not Ruud VanNistelrooy by any chance?

MrJoeSoap

Its no coincidence that the European divorce rate has risen dramatically since the implemention of the offside rule in the mid 2oth century.

The Muppet

I'd dump her TBH.