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drink

  • 10-12-2004 4:24pm
    #1
    bender
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭


    One friday evening Seamus and Bob are sitting around after a hard days work, and Seamus says "hey bob, what say we go out and get us a pint"
    "with what money?" asks bob "I don't know about you, but i don't have enough for a pint. I could barely afford half of one."
    "aye. I don't have much more myself" Seamus replies rather dissapointed.
    so the two men sit around for a while, thinking about how they can get enough money together to spend a night out on the town. eventualy seamus says "Bob, give me your money, i have us a plan, and a good night we shall have"
    so bob relucatantly hands his money over to seamus. Seamus promptly goes down to the local market, and buys himself a sausage. Upon returning bob sees what seamus has bought and says "what have you bought that sausage for. I don't see how that will get us a pint. Never mind one for each of us."
    "aye, don't you trust me? I have an excellent idea. Now lets go get our drinks."
    so seamus and bob head down to a nearby pub. They walk in, and seamus walks up to the barkeep and says "i'd like 2 pints of what ever you got." and upon receiving the drinks seamus and bob go to one of the tables in the back corner of the bar.
    "so how do you propose we pay for this?" asks bob.
    "don't you trust me? i have it all figured out. When we have both finished most of our drinks, i'm going to slip the sausage through the fly of my pants. Then you get down on your hands and knees, and pretend to give me a blowjob." said seamus
    "what? how will that pay for our drinks?" asked bob
    "just wait and see. Just wait and see"
    so the two friends sit there enjoying their drinks, and when they are nearly done seamus slips the sausage through his fly, bob reluctantly gets down on his hands and knees, and starts sucking on the sausage. Upon seeing what is going on in the corner the bartender starts yelling and screaming "HEY, WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING? GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY BAR!" and the bartender kicks the two outside.
    "see i told you it would work, now which pub to next?" says seamus.
    seamus and bob then spend the rest of their evening repeating this process, and eventualy at about 2 in the morning they get kicked out of the 11th bar.
    "you know what?" mutters bob "we shoudl realy stop doing this. Cuz my knees are realy starting to get sore"
    to which seamus replies "aye, how do you think i feel. I lost the damn sausage in the fourth pub"


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