The Homosexual Agenda

damien

http://www.lustydevil.com/keepers/agenda.html

THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. So we're all up to speed, it follows below:

The Homosexual Agenda:

6.00 am Gym

8.00 am Breakfast

9.00 am Hair appointment

10.00 am Shopping

12.00 PM Brunch

2.00 PM (Here's the really important part)

1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State and local Governments as well as all other national governments
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels
5) Establish planetary chain of "homo breeding gulags" where over -medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership
6) Bulldoze all houses of worship
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2.30 PM Get Forty Winks of Beauty Rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest

4.00 PM Cocktails

6.00 PM Light Dinner

8.00 PM Theater

11.00 PM Bed

Chad ghostal

Wow that sounds like fun, where do i sign up?

*waits to be assymilated*

TCamen

But... there's no time allotted for watching 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' :eek:

Boston

What about will and grace.

segadreamcast

"from the Head Homosexual."

You met Graham Norton too? Lovely chap he is...

BuffyBot

Only two hours for cocktails? Whatever!!!!

Yoda

Oh, come on. Bed at 23:00?

Stark

They didn't say sleep at 23:00

darkened_corner

Goodness knows there are better activities allotted fot that time.

I am, of course, refferring to needlepoint.

Ahem.

I'll just go now...

1082229

finally a plan for my day!

JustHalf

Dude, that's not very funny. Well, maybe SWP funnies page funny.

Funny stuff here: The Liberal Agenda

darkened_corner

Hmph. Depends on your standpoint. Personally, I find it ****ing hilarious. It's precisely the same kind of humour (and just as valid) as your Liberal Agenda one.

Yoda

"Put finishing touches on plan to force all Americans to gay marry." I suppose there are some folk out there who are so benighted that this seems something other than utterly insane and stupid.

"Ireland is not ready for gay marriage," said Mary Coughlan, who, shame upon us all, is the government minister who introduced the ban on same-sex marriage in the Civil Registration Act 2004.

If Ireland were not ready for gay marriage, gay people in Ireland wouldn't be asking for it.

darkened_corner

Gay people wouldn't be calling for it, and a significant proportion of the straight population wouldn't think it (the ban) was bull**** (which they DO think, at least to judge from my friends ... and my friends' friends ... and my friends' friends' friends ... )

Yoda

At least some gay people are stating that they wish to avail of the rights and responsibilities which the State confers to heterosexual couples who accept a contract between themselves and It.

That would be an indication that Ireland is ready for gay marriage.

fozzle

Lol! Oh lordy, I'm getting some odd looks from others in the office, but that's blooming hilarious! Bed so early eh? Are you sure it's not an orgy? (That is what bisexual means, right?) :rolleyes:

the_syco

***Take this in the way that I wrote it. For sh|t & giggles. No offence meant, but some may be taken (if thats what your into).***

damien.m wrote:

THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. So we're all up to speed, it follows below:

We let him out of his cage for the 1 hour of sunlight a day, and the HH talks to the press. Sheesh!

damien.m wrote:

6.00 am Gym

Rather you than me. I don't get up till 7:30 am

damien.m wrote:

8.00 am Breakfast

To hell with this. I'll just get the bus @ 8 am.

damien.m wrote:

9.00 am Hair appointment

The rest of us have jobs.

damien.m wrote:

10.00 am Shopping

I'll have brunch about now.

damien.m wrote:

12.00 PM Brunch

This is my lunch time

damien.m wrote:

2.00 PM (Here's the really important part)

1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State and local Governments as well as all other national governments

I thought those liberals were up to something.

damien.m wrote:

2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle

Your going to turn them all into conformists? How could you???

damien.m wrote:

3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages

With what? Lesbain porn mag's in his (or her) suitcase?

damien.m wrote:

4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels

The Colombian's I have a problem with. The Jamaican's can stay, tho.

damien.m wrote:

5) Establish planetary chain of "homo breeding gulags" where over -medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership

This homo breeding thing; is this just lesbains? Also, is it par-per-view, or FTA? FTA may be more effective, as most of the work-force will be incapcitated during the shows.

damien.m wrote:

6) Bulldoze all houses of worship

I can help here.

damien.m wrote:

7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

This is the only bit of your agenda I have a problem with. Hanging is too good for them. I say knee-cap them, and see which one finishes the 100m crawl.

damien.m wrote:

2.30 PM Get Forty Winks of Beauty Rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest

Why 2:30 PM? Why not on the half hour, for 1 minutes power snoozes? Works better for me.

damien.m wrote:

4.00 PM Cocktails

Damn alcoholics.

damien.m wrote:

6.00 PM Light Dinner

To hell with light. Gimme some steak! (I would say "I wanna chew on some meat", but it may be taken the wrong way)

damien.m wrote:

8.00 PM Theater

Depending whats on. Shakespear, Van Damm, or Weslep Snipes will do.

damien.m wrote:

11.00 PM Bed

11 PM? Nope. Too early. We ain't all rabbits, you know

damien

www.homosexual-agenda.org is now live, just barely though.