The Perfect Public Toilet Experience

unknownguest

Here is a quick guide to using public toilets.
1-push doors open with feet where possible
2-when you enter cubicle, take one sheet of paper to lock door behind you, place sheet in bowl after use.
3-use sheet of paper to lower or higher seat.
4-Make ball of toilet paper and wipe seat until spotless, dispose of ball in bowl.
5-take one sheet at a time and place around contact area of seat and skin.
6-Empty your bowels and finish as quickly as possible to avoid such things as piles.
7-take another sheet and flick sheets on seat into bowl.
8-use sheet to unlock door
9-use sheet to flush toilet
10-exit cubicle
11-apply soap
12-when pushing timed tap make sure you use full time of water release on final scrubbing to eliminate any possible germs picked up from pushing tap.
13-where possible, use automatic dryers, if button needs to be pushed, do so with elbow. Use dryers instead of spindle towels (the ones you pull down) where possible
14-exit bathroom with as little hand contact as possible.

Note: by using sheets and disposing of in bowl, you are thus creating the ASB (anti splash barrier) this way when the stool hits the pool there will be no splashback.

If everyone followed these simple steps, public toilets would become a safer, nicer place.

Remember, defecating should be a charm, not a chore.

Wertz

There's one flaw to your logic: such a toilet cubicle where these measures are necessary, likely doesn't have any bogroll and has probably been lacking it for some time...

stagolee

AAAWWW YUK you didnt wipe your arse, get back in there you filthy degenerate you smell like a tinkers monkey

Chong

Go home, one word CrapBreak.

Giblet

Good work on not wiping your arse.