Crazy people the pub last night

Empatia

Right so, I was in one of my locals last night with a few friends just out for a few quiet drinks. The pub in question is kind of known as the "pulling pub", where you get mostly people aged 20-30 on the pull. So anyway me and my friends are sitting at table just chatting away when on the table next to us where there is just a guy and a girl, the guy stands up on the table and shouts "can i have everyones attention please", straight away i looked at the girl to see if she knew what the hell was going on and she looked puzzled as hell. So for some reason the DJ gives way and he shuts off the music, the guy says thanks, clears his throat and goes.

Folks heres a warning for you, you see this great looking girl im sitting with, well ive been chatting away to her for the past hour and she just asked me how much I earn, I told her 60k a year and she said that our 'relationship' could go somewhere. Basically, shes a gold digging bitch and Id just like to warn you all.

He then looks down at her and just says "HA!"

The place absoloutely errupted in laughter at the girl.

I admit I felt a tad sorry for the embarresment she must have felt, but at the same time I felt she got her just deserts for being so shallow.

And allthough its a pretty blunt method for exposing people like this, I very much doubt shes gonna go looking there again, or any other slap ers like her haha

Canis Lupus

ha

eth0_

hahhahah fantastic

parasite

the man is a genius

Sharza-

misogynists!

only joking, haha fair play to the lad!

SantaHoe

Nice one.
Though he could have just shagged her, then told her the next morning that he's really unemployed.

*Note to self: Always lie about income and score gold diggers.

therecklessone

SantaHoe wrote:

Nice one.
Though he could have just shagged her, then told her the next morning that he's really unemployed.

*Note to self: Always lie about income and score gold diggers.

And wiped his mickey in the curtains for good measure.

Spalk0

SantaHoe wrote:

Nice one.
Though he could have just shagged her, then told her the next morning that he's really unemployed.

*Note to self: Always lie about income and score gold diggers.

He could have and should have, he should have thought more about it before announcing it!

Nice one though, if a tad cruel!

Keyzer

Nice one.
Though he could have just shagged her, then told her the next morning that he's really unemployed.

therecklessone wrote:

And wiped his mickey in the curtains for good measure.

F**ckin brilliant, I knew it was coming but I laughed anyroads...
A mate of mine used to tell birds he had the most ridiculous jobs i.e olympic skier etc. It worked until he told a nurse one night that he was a doctor.

okidoki987

As stated already
He should have shagged her and then told her to get lost.
OR
Was he telling the pub so that all the girls knew he earned 60K a year?

The Sweeper

Dear Santa:

This year I'd like the troll fairy to bring me a believeable story.

Cheersthxbye.

Hobbes

Keyzer wrote:

F**ckin brilliant, I knew it was coming but I laughed anyroads...
A mate of mine used to tell birds he had the most ridiculous jobs i.e olympic skier etc. It worked until he told a nurse one night that he was a doctor.

Its amazing how many people fall for that sh!t though. At a bar in canada my cousins were telling people they were talking to I was a record producer from Ireland but I was incommunicado and I kept getting people coming up to me and asking me questions about the music industry. I had no fricken clue what was going on until afterwards.

D!ve^Bomb!

That is just ****ing brilliant... how soon after that did she leave?

karlh

60K!!!!!! you get his number?

JackKelly

lol, what a class act. He must of got a good few pints after that.

segadreamcast

"He should've shagged her first"

Nooo! Then she wouldn't have been publicly humiliated! She was a tart - do you think she'd care if she was shagged and dumped? Not at all. His method was much more satisfying!

Well done to him!

The Sweeper

Yes children, continue to cheer on the fictitious misogynist fool...

Hey - maybe she earned 100K and wanted to make sure he wasn't going to rip her off?

No no, you're right, what a tart...

Jesus you people are thick.

koneko

People aren't this funny in real life...
I'm not believing it

ionapaul

Keyzer wrote:

F**ckin brilliant, I knew it was coming but I laughed anyroads...
A mate of mine used to tell birds he had the most ridiculous jobs i.e olympic skier etc. It worked until he told a nurse one night that he was a doctor.

Funnily enough, I was out in Doyles in town about a month ago, a young one started chatting to me, twas towards the end of the night and myself and the friends were have a laugh, so I told your one that I was a 'Surgeon / Stockbroker' (yes, surgeon slash stockbroker). She replied 'really? I'm a nurse - what hospital are you in?' without realising that I was only messing.

The Sweeper

ionapaul wrote:

Funnily enough, I was out in Doyles in town about a month ago, a young one started chatting to me, twas towards the end of the night and myself and the friends were have a laugh, so I told your one that I was a 'Surgeon / Stockbroker' (yes, surgeon slash stockbroker). She replied 'really? I'm a nurse - what hospital are you in?' without realising that I was only messing.

No, sorry, I don't believe you, if this had ACTUALLY HAPPENED, she'd have offered to f*ck you right there on the spot in an effort to get to your money.

You're obviously lying about having a life.

Snaga

I think your lying about you believing that hes lying*


*note : May be a lie

Hobbes

Lol

Blub2k4

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

No, sorry, I don't believe you, if this had ACTUALLY HAPPENED, she'd have offered to f*ck you right there on the spot in an effort to get to your money.

You're obviously lying about having a life.

Consider yourself disbelieved!!

ionapaul

Since it was after 2, I think alcohol was the culprit on her part.

You are half right though...I don't have a life

MojoMaker

By the way it was written the original poster's fantasy is obviously (a) earn 60k some day and (b) denounce a good looking woman in public.

Hmm, what can we learn from that children?

It completely and utterly didn't happen.

SantaHoe

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

Hey - maybe she earned 100K and wanted to make sure he wasn't going to rip her off?

OOORrrrrr... maybe she worked for the government and was covertly gathering information about his income as part of an ongoing investigation into tax dodgers.
Or maybe it just innocently popped up in conversation... what an ignorant bastard, she's better off without him.
Shame on all of you.

Caesar_Bojangle

therecklessone wrote:

And wiped his mickey in the curtains for good measure.

this seems to be the boards.ie way.

Flukey

Well he could have shagged her and come in tonight and said it, adding "..and she is not that good in bed.":)

Milkman Dan

i've told people that i'm:

an Oil Rig Worker (on leave for two weeks)
a Guide Dog Trainer
a fireman
Brendan o'carroll's secretary...

just for fun like.....

digitalninja

haha
minesajackdaniels obviously empathises with this chick, nice nick.

ionapaul

Milkman Dan wrote:

i've told people that i'm:

an Oil Rig Worker (on leave for two weeks)
a Guide Dog Trainer
a fireman
Brendan o'carroll's secretary...

just for fun like.....

All I know, the more outrageous the lie, the more fun you can have with it.

Joseph

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

LOL

seamus

One night in 4 dame lane, a friend, on the spur of the moment, decided to tell two random foreign women (I hadn't even been talking to them, I was talking to someone else while he was talking to hem) that I was a porn director. Seriously. Their sudden interest* freaked me out a little, and seeing as I'm attached, I just laughed, told them he was messing, and quickly made my way to the bar.

* I don't know if the sudden interest was one of "How does that work then" or actual interest in me - I'll assume the former. My freaked-outedness actually came from the fact that I expected them to wince, call me a pervert and walk away. Instead they both raised and eyebrow, said "Really?" and edged a little closer.

Heineken

Fair play to the guy from the first post! It was classic ... but don't you think it's a bit losery that you have to lie about what you do to get a girl? You'll call her shallow, but the truth of the matter is:

You only want to get with her cause she's hot
She only wants to get with you cause she thinks you're loaded.

It works both ways.

Doodee

I've told people that i've gone to band camp

Doodee

koneko wrote:

People aren't this funny in real life...
I'm not believing it

I beg to differ!

DapperGent

Some Broad wrote:

Yes children, continue to cheer on the fictitious misogynist fool...

You think everyone is a misogynist. Dames like you should learn to behave themselves or they'll never find a husband.

Also kudos to the original poster, it's great story. I think I got it in an email five years ago.

Lump

I don't care if it's true or not.... it's still funny.


John

Farls

Haha, deadly story. I like the thinking behind all women left in the pub now know he earns 60k a year and is into non skangers. I can't decide wheather he's really smart or thick

Friend of mine told a girl one night i was Sean Quinn's son (one of richest men in Ireland) she came straight over to me and started talkin away and i hadn't a clue till i seen my friend laughin his ass off. Thing is if i had to of played it off it would of probably worked. :cool:

Heard a lad tellin a lassy one night he was at Uni and studying "cockology" your one asked him, "how do you find that?" he answered with "it sucks" and somehow kept a serious face, your one had no idea he was prickin about.

Farlz

therecklessone

Doodee wrote:

I've told people that i've gone to band camp

I've told people I see dead people...

DEmeant0r

Farls wrote:

Haha, deadly story. I like the thinking behind all women left in the pub now know he earns 60k a year and is into non skangers. I can't decide wheather he's really smart or thick

Friend of mine told a girl one night i was Sean Quinn's son (one of richest men in Ireland) she came straight over to me and started talkin away and i hadn't a clue till i seen my friend laughin his ass off. Thing is if i had to of played it off it would of probably worked. :cool:

Heard a lad tellin a lassy one night he was at Uni and studying "cockology" your one asked him, "how do you find that?" he answered with "it sucks" and somehow kept a serious face, your one had no idea he was prickin about.

Farlz

ROFL. Cockology, that chick must've been wasted the ditzy type to believe that.

Rozabeez

That's brilliant

Empatia

Well I dont know if its true or not tbh, I just copied and pasted it from an email I got.

Anyway only reason I posted it cause it was worth a laugh.

And to that psycho jackdaniels who called me a misogynist (yeah i had to look it up so what :P )

Calm down take a chill pill, I dont hate women you wierdo, do you have some sort of paranoia problem? haha

the smiley one

Doodee wrote:

I've told people that i've gone to band camp

Brilliant

*takes notes*

Caesar_Bojangle

koneko wrote:

People aren't this funny in real life...
I'm not believing it

I have to disagree with you. I have come across some quite funny characters in my time who have been in some very bizarre situations, or done something incredibly unbelievably that its just so inconceivable no one would believe it unless they were there. I have one friend that no matter where he goes the most unlikely thing you could possibly think of will happen to him.

combs

No, life is not like how it's being depicted in this thread; that is, like some vaguely funny British sit-com.

jonny68

Keyzer wrote:

F**ckin brilliant, I knew it was coming but I laughed anyroads...
A mate of mine used to tell birds he had the most ridiculous jobs i.e olympic skier etc. It worked until he told a nurse one night that he was a doctor.

quality.........

Tusky

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

No, sorry, I don't believe you, if this had ACTUALLY HAPPENED, she'd have offered to f*ck you right there on the spot in an effort to get to your money.

You're obviously lying about having a life.

a/s/l baby ?

The Sweeper

Empatia wrote:

Well I dont know if its true or not tbh, I just copied and pasted it from an email I got.

Anyway only reason I posted it cause it was worth a laugh.

And to that psycho jackdaniels who called me a misogynist (yeah i had to look it up so what :P )

Calm down take a chill pill, I dont hate women you wierdo, do you have some sort of paranoia problem? haha

I wasn't calling you a misogynist. I was referring to the bloke in your story. Hence my use of 'fictitious'.

Fool. Now where are my chill pills...

OLDYELLAR

ahahaha thats brilliant!