Funneh chat up lines!

Miles

You remind me of my Grandma except I haven't slept with you yet.

Crucifix

"I've lost my phone number can I have yours"

shelly04

my love for you is like diaorriah, i just cant hold it in.

sorry when i saw you i fell and banged my head so ill need your number for the insurance

old boy

adele HOW DO I GET LAID pm me ill tell u

Squirrel

By the end of this ight I'm gonna stick my willy in your ear

JenLorigan

Raphael wrote:

"You'll do"

Nice.

That how you got Cat?

Jabbathegut

Your parents must be retarded because your special.

**sorry could resist

elivsvonchiaing

Ok so you've lost your virginity! I'm only really interested in the box it came in

mobile04

heres 20 p ring you ma tell her you wont be home


or what way do you like your eggs done for breakfast


attached my wedding day.............

elivsvonchiaing

mobile04 wrote:

heres 20 p ring you ma tell her you wont be home


or what way do you like your eggs done for breakfast


attached my wedding day.............

So it's over then? <this is as sensitive and caring as I get> Wanna discuss it?

Eoin

Guy: Do you Wrestle?
Girl: No
Guy: Then lets see ya Box...

quality stuff...

"you don't sweat much for a fat chick"

memphis

Woo, quality stuff there, really didn't expect to get this many replies.

Maybe Mods, can stuicky this. Some are hilarious.

I love "here's 20p, call your ma and tell her ya won't be home" Classic that one!

The_Goose

My cousin came home from england during the summer got pissed, walked up to this rough out bird not even knowin her name and says "Mary, Get us a cup of tea"
He pulled

Another guy i know walked up to a girl and said "what did you think of the soccer match today"
He got a slap

memphis

I walked up to a girl in Nite Club once (was really really really REALLY drunk) and said "Give us a blow job, babe"..... oddly enough it worked... I pulled! But then she was pis$ed too.

shelly04

memphis wrote:

"here's 20p, call your ma and tell her ya won't be home" Classic that one!

Which you can reply to with
heres a euro buy some breath freshner

stuey

Eat This

evad_lhorg

The_Goose wrote:

My cousin came home from england during the summer got pissed, walked up to this rough out bird not even knowin her name and says "Mary, Get us a cup of tea"
He pulled

f,uckin legend"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

elivsvonchiaing

Just thought this up: When you spot a really locked chick - stare at her meaningfully when she stares back at you: a) menacingly b) non-chalantly c) wow I've never met identical twins before - appropriate responses are as follows:
a) Oh I'm sorry I was staring at you - "It's just that I saw you smile some minutes ago (has to be true though) - I just couldn't keep my eyes off you since - Huh I know I'm too ????? for you to forgive me". The clever man will have the correct answer to ?????!

b) <doesn't make any further eye contact- deliberately bumps into - enginereered to spill her drink on self> Jeez I feel terrible - no really what was that - engineered to move to state a)

c) 'Cmon love you don't want to stay here there are predators about - shure you can kip at my gaff!

Women of boards beware - while you are mainly puking right now - I can grow like a fungus on you

Either that or a year from now it'll be begging: give a little It'll help a lot

Miles

"I'm not even drunk and I still think you're beautiful."

Tiriel

ok.. how's about "wanna be buried with my people?"
or ..
I'm drunk and you're beautiful..but tomorrow I'll be sober..

Miles

"My body is a temple take me home and desecrate me"

elivsvonchiaing

"Do you come here often?" - making her think yer a social moron... whatever she says - you'll have to come up with a ripping-hilarious retort... this will break the ice if you can pull it off... and yeah I've only seen 1 guy pull it off... ever!

Shrimp

Cork_girl wrote:

I'm drunk and you're beautiful..but tomorrow I'll be sober..

and you'll be ugly, so chop chop ... (you left out that bit )

Tiriel

I'm drunk and a little forgetful

Shrimp

now? well..

your drunk, I'm beautiful...

Kelter

Its noisey in night clubs

"Would you like to dance"

"No"

I think you misheard me. I said "You look fat in those pants"

Kelter

"Wanna come back to my place for some sex and some pizza...."

"What... you don't like pizza?"

jayok

Not really a chat-up line I've found this useful when I get some snotty b1tch. Although I've been slapped for it.

<me>: Hi I'm <name>

<girl>: I don't care

<me>: Really, it's not like you can afford to be picky!

Usually shuts them up. Mind you legger out of there quickly.

landser

do you like fruit?
well, suck my c*ck, it's a peach

do you like jewellery?
well, suck my c*ck it's a gem


wouldn't advise using these lines tho'.

elivsvonchiaing

Jebus girls - help us out here ffs! These last posts are really dire (including my own)! Please kindly instruct us how to get in you're knickers